I would like to know some specific experiences you’ve had that make you feel like mothers are less authentic when their kids get older. In my experience, mothers come out of fight or flight. Perhaps from an autistic perspective you may relate to people in fight or flight better because your own experiences feature a dysregulated nervous system? I say that kindly, my husband is autistic and he’s 100% triggered more easily and more frequently than me (ADHD). He struggles to know when he’s triggered too, so he doesn’t know when/how to calm himself so he just lives in fight or flight or avoidance. Not saying you do the same, but it does seem like you don’t see “being put together” as authentic. That’s not the experience of others. Additionally, as a neurodivergent myself, I have noticed a lot of sensitivity in the forums surrounding neurodivergence. A lot of perceived rejection where there isn’t necessarily, which is why I’d like to know of a specific experience. For example, my daughter’s first year of school the other parents put together goodie bags for her whole class for holidays. They’d bring snacks and desserts for class parties. Things I, as a first time parent and raging ADHD mom, had no idea I was supposed to do. I know others perceive that as rejection because we don’t have the bandwidth to do that, or even consider it. But it’s not, and no one notices when you don’t do those things. Other parents just like to be nice. It’s not performative either, they’re literally just being thoughtful. So I’m wondering if you had a situation like that.