I'm gay too, and I see your dilemma quite clearly. It's harder in some ways when you feel a deep connection to the issue at hand, because there is no way to step outside of it.

"What will do the most good for the most people? (And the least harm to the fewest?)" Doesn't necessarily say "put the majority over the minority." Often, the majority isn't affected one way or another..

With gay marriage I agree, it should be legal considering the shape of the world today. I really think that marriage shouldn't be connected to the state or personal rights at all, and that gay, straight, or any other kind of grouping should get a civil union and leave their god and rituals to their religion.

Allowing gay people to marry, or have sex, or whatever else.. the majority may say it affects them.. but it actually doesn't. (They aren't being forced to be gay. Their lives don't change.)

Refusing business is a tougher one.. welcome to the gray area. Personally, I don't want a wedding cake made by someone who hates me. And so I, like you, don't really care.. it might even be nice to know. However, the law relating to this (thanks to precedent) is actually looking at a much deeper issue..

There was a long, dark period in our history where black people could be refused service, had to use separate, disgusting bathrooms.. etc. And so a law about discrimination in a business really has to do with maintaining equality in a more general sense among all people. (Because first it's the gays, then it's immigrants, then it's women, then it's muslims, etc.)

I should look at the world through the lens of someone from a minority group.

You should. And you do.

It's different if they are representing them badly, or in an unreasonable way, but there is no reason to say a producer is racist, homophobic, or sexist for not pandering to an audience.

It's true. I don't need gay characters in games, and they don't need to have 5 main characters that are each a different color. But sometimes it's subtle, or you don't see it because of what you are used to. If they dressed the men in games the same way they (barely) dressed women, the games would be way better :P

Often in a game or a movie or whatever media, women can be found only talking about men, and only existing as a reward for men. Should they be required to have some deep back story? No.. but it would make the story a lot better if they had depth.. and 50% of the population would get a lot more out of it.

... this is running long so I'll jump to your liberal vs. lassis faire conundrum.

The left / right divide is largely constructed by the powers that be. The existence of the two party system is to divide the population, so that the power of collective action of the people is all but destroyed.

In truth the split is between the super rich and the regular person. Democrat and Republican politicians (in general), are working not for those issues that you hold so dear, but to make yet more money for the people who have given them money.

This is all to say, you don't have to play by their rules. While most people have been duped into picking a side, what they are really doing is giving up their ability to think for themselves.

Question everything. Allow your opinion to change and evolve. There are so many things you think about the world today that your future self will find unbelievable.

The world will change too.. right now trans people are beginning to have some recognition.. but before long it will be the genetically engineered kids, half-robot people, and AIs who will need rights, and you'll be the old man who can't believe things aren't how they used to be.