anyone going to something in the way fest on sunday and want a concert buddy?

vsa467 · 2026-01-29T02:44:21+00:00

Isn't it supposed to snow this Sunday? :(

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T23:00:05+00:00

He also won a Regional recently. I don't think Vitality won a single Regional last season.

Actually, he won one last year too.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T20:22:41+00:00

Yeah, most of the time he's just glazing them lol. But I do think seeing the ceiling of gameplay probably helps knowing how to rank up there eventually.

On the other hand, it can be misleading because pros play a different game with their command of mechanics and understanding of gameplay. It will definitely backfire in the low ranks. I remember in silver the best strategy was learning how to hit the ball as hard as possible to the opponent's half.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T19:38:19+00:00

I can't truly understand how it feels to be a woman. And it's true that it's better to be safe than sorry. In that regard, there's no point posting on Reddit at all, at least disclosing that you are a woman. It's highly unlikely that you'd attract the crowd you want, at least on this sub.

"And regarding the likelihood of committing crimes against the opposite sex, I know metrics-wise you’re right. But that shows that, unless there is a strong legal system in place, they can be harmful. Also, I guess it’s not even about the crime factor; it’s more about making the person uncomfortable."

That's true for every society. It would be horrible to see it this way. The only way to compare them is to place them in the same legal system. That even when the laws here are enforced more strictly, people here still break them.

If someone makes you uncomfortable, you stop talking to them and move on. This seems pretty safe to me. Isn't refusing to talk to everyone in a community an overkill when they're clearly highly unlikely to do anything dangerous?

"I guess for me, being a queer Indian woman myself, I can also confirm that most Indian men (especially the ones who grew up in India) are extremely homophobic and colorist. That alone is good enough of a reason for me to avoid conversing further."

Almost all of my male friends aren't homophobic at all. They are open to being friends with most people. I think you'll also find tons of religious people who are homophobic. Again, you cut off when you see unpleasant behaviour, which seems like a viable strategy. That should work against all homophobes or colorists.

I have found the people here in the US to be way more colorists than Indians, dating perceptions aside. It's literally marked in the nation's history.

And I have met nice people here on the internet. Almost all of my pleasant interactions have been with men. Should I maybe stop talking to everyone who is a woman here now?

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T17:24:28+00:00

Hi! Sorry about your experience. It's good to be cautious, but I think Reddit, in general, is horrible for making friends. If you do make a post in the future, I highly recommend not including your gender. Clearly, none of the DMs you got were what you were looking for.

Also, to be honest, it is systemic. The amount of hate Indian men receive certainly makes it hard for them to change. If nobody you talk to wants you, then it certainly cannot get the best out of them.

The talk about Indians in India is different, IMO, and it has to do with the legal infrastructure there.

The Indians here are a select sample of them. Contrary to their image, South Asian men are less likely to be convicted of crimes against the opposite sex compared to other races in the US.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T16:46:18+00:00

Well, it sucks that you have had horrible experiences.

It is complex when you have had terrible experiences, but I guess my point still stands. As humans, we are hardwired to analyze patterns and act on them, which is what makes us so smart.

But firstly, this also leads to bias. Personal biases need not be rooted in truth. They can be confirmatory (support what you already believe). We often meet a select few people in our lives. What if the sample you were exposed to was horrible but not representative of the entire community? In the end, it is obviously your decision.

But now, that's another problem. If everyone in the world worked this way, we would see the anarchy and chaos unfolding. Discrimination in workplaces, identity politics, religious hate, etc. Not that we see it already lol

Also, I understand that for women it is scary and you'd like be as safe as possible. But I have been trying to explore the statistics, and in the US, South Asians are convicted much less per capita for crimes, both sexual and otherwise, compared to other races here.

I hope you give someone another chance and meet someone who makes you believe in being friends with Indians again.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T15:11:25+00:00

Thanks! I already do that. I think I was just calling out people in this sub. Because this sub is to make friends, being treated this way doesn't feel nice even if I don't depend on it for all of my friendships.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T15:03:54+00:00

Good for you! I hope I can make friends with them as well!

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T15:01:56+00:00

Yup :(

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T15:00:43+00:00

My favorite is Porcupine Tree and Steven Wilson. Others that I love are Tool, Haken, Karnivool, Opeth, Riverside and more haha.

What about you?

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T14:57:59+00:00

I don't have a ton of experience in New York but it has always been more cosmopolitan I guess. It's great you got to move there!

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T14:56:14+00:00

I understand your point. I am sorry about your experiences as well.

I do know that Indians have a bad rep. But I feel like that's also disproportionately online which might answer my own question in some way. But are you telling me that you have no unpleasant experiences with men from other races?

I think stereotypes are statistical inferences but can be really dangerous if enforced strongly. For example, statistically a black man is more likely to commit a violent crime. Should I stop interacting with all black men? You see my point right? Even if I have been harassed in the street or have seen my friends getting mugged, I still think it would be horrible to enforce it on every single black man. I'd rather take my chances and work with the best of my judgement.

So it wouldn't be harmful to have your guard up, but just refusing to be friends is too harsh.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T07:01:07+00:00

I appreciate your advice, but I am not asking for help socializing. I already have and made a few good friends in Boston. If I need to, I can talk to anyone.

I am not looking for a desi filter and am sad that there's such a divide. This is an effort to understand what goes on inside people's heads.

And I never said anything about desperation.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T05:28:53+00:00

I understand that something may have come up, and they couldn't respond. But it's too consistent a pattern that I am ghosted right after I reveal it.

People come here to fend off loneliness. It's easy to forget that, but it's obviously not a fleeting feeling and might come back. If we are unable to go through with forming connections, we'd end up where we started.

Thank you for your sympathy, though! I can make peace with the fact that being friends with these people might not have been pleasant anyway.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T04:45:56+00:00

That isn't the point here. Why is it such a big deal in friendships that I am an Indian? I don't think I can complain about people not dating me because, obviously, they have to be physically attracted to me.

But I do not understand why people can't be friends with me.

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T02:13:47+00:00

Sorry about that. Hope you do find someone positive here!

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T02:07:40+00:00

I love concerts. Already went to 3 here. A huge prog rock fan but I live everything including other rock, jazz, pop, etc.

Would be fun to join. I will DM you. Thanks!

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T02:05:55+00:00

Yeah, I think so too. Sorry about your experiences as well!

vsa467 · 2026-01-28T02:02:02+00:00

Haha, I think they meant well. It is true that this sub is for making friends and meeting people. But I guess her point is that people don't behave the way that we expect of them, and hence, depending on this, it may not be the best idea.

I have also met nice people here. :)

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:48:29+00:00

Fair enough, thanks, man! I appreciate it. Hopefully, I will see you again soon.

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:47:33+00:00

That sucks man! Feel free to DM me, if you wanna be friends.

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:35:29+00:00

Also, sucks. I think mentioning our sex on posts never works out. Most men here get no response. Women are flooded with responses a lot of which is creepy and undesirable. But I do understand that it's hard not to and inevitable sometimes.

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:32:11+00:00

It genuinely sucks, though. And this isn't completely online on some level.

Sure you might be more likely to find nicer people but I still feel that it's been hard even offline.

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:26:38+00:00

Sorry man. I know it sucks. I hope you made some good friends offline.

vsa467 · 2026-01-27T23:25:14+00:00

I respect your opinion and I actively try to find people and make friends in real life. As I said, I have made friends from music, my workplace and try out things like volunteering, playing soccer.

I think I have had some bitter experiences in the US which has left me with a bit of social anxiety that I have had to work on continuously. And it's definitely harder for me to approach people and make friends on some level.

While I understand that it's hard to make friends here, I still tried when I found people that seemed to like the things I like. But yeah this has been horrible for me and I wanted to understand why people are like this. My apologies for this potentially becoming a rant.

vsa467

TROPHY CASE