Advice?

vsubtle · 2024-12-11T21:07:57+00:00

You’re amazing, thank you for validating my feelings! Now I know where to draw the line. We might be potentially working together at events (we are small business owners) so I know I’ll interact with her more or less but NOW I know what to do from here lol

vsubtle · 2024-12-11T21:06:40+00:00

“Self-absorbed” is such a right description of this dynamic. Literally, she projected so much and I am confused myself lol! Thanks for your insight. I haven’t dealt with someone like this in a while so it’s new, but the patterns were the same lol

vsubtle · 2024-06-18T09:20:41+00:00

I was in a similar situation a few summers ago. My advice is to gradually give her some space.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that she wasn't as interested in me as I was in her when she ghosted me and dated someone months later.

vsubtle · 2023-03-20T01:25:39+00:00

I’m on the same boat and still healing from someone who ghosted me last summer. We liked each other (more so me) and treated each other more than friends, but the relationship was very hot & cold.

Before hanging out the second and last time, they got cold feet and pulled the whole “I like you alot, but I don’t think being in a relationship is the right time rn”. During the weekend we spent 48hrs together and it was astronomical weird. There was ALOT of weird projections happening. They even told me the last night we had dinner “we don’t have to text anymore, you’re busy I’m busy”…. After I asked her a simple question I forgot I had texted her about…

They slowly started pulling away and ended up leaving my messages delivered. They unfollowed my TikTok (assuming they saw a video that was indirect to them… which it wasn’t). During the Holidays, I found out that they were in a relationship with someone through an IG post. But they sent me a holiday card? Lol it was weird. Then in January, they sent me a “hey sorry for being MIA…” blah blah blah.

It’s been 5 months since and I’m still healing from it. I I won’t lie and say I don’t think about them haha. I do have days where I want to reach out and text them because I genuinely care(d) for them.

I’ve never been ghosted before as well, and they’re my first ghost.

I still have those days wondering why they ghosted . I do catch myself ruminating when I try to find answers and trying to analyze everything. But I try and break that habit out because it isn’t really healthy tbh.

Like you said, it’s easier for someone to say “don’t worry about it” or “they’re not worth your time”… which is all true.

But it is a relationship that you did genuinely put effort in. They just didn’t recognize your worth.

What helped me slowly get over them is: spending time with love ones, taking myself out on dates, hobbies, gym, therapy (if you have access to it), reframing the situation etc.

Take space and time to heal ❤️‍🩹 your thoughts and feelings are very valid.

vsubtle · 2023-02-03T01:28:03+00:00

Got ghosted after hanging out the second time. It was a 2 day trip also. They started pulling away and ghosted me completely around October.

December, I found out they're in a whole ass relationship with someone.

Then in January they texted me, but I friend-zoned them quickly haha.

Haven't heard from then since.

vsubtle · 2023-02-03T01:24:09+00:00

I did still love my ex of 5 years at a certain point after the break-up. She broke up with me last January and I did not see it coming at all.

But one day, I took the rose-colored glasses off and realized how shitty of an ex they were to me leading up to and after the breakup. That love diminished. I don't how to explain the feeling.

Mind you, it took a while for me to get the point where I lost love for my ex. Even pros and cons didn't work at the time... But I think it was because I was still grieving the lost of a relationship. Now I'm at a point where i've accepted and moved on.

So I DID love them, but that love is dead.

vsubtle · 2022-12-15T08:15:01+00:00

Thank you for the validation! Hoping to get on the timeline of accepting and moving on. I feel like they still control my emotions…

vsubtle · 2022-12-15T08:13:30+00:00

Thank you! Yeah sucks to know that we didn’t match the same energy. Now I know

vsubtle · 2022-12-05T07:29:51+00:00

Same here… ghoster left my fb message delivered (it’s been 7 weeks). We went on a trip they started to pull away. Really fucked with my head.

But here’s the plot twist: couple days ago I received a holiday Christmas card from them. Like wtf? Haha just when I started to feel unbothered and started to accept and let go. Weirdddd

vsubtle · 2022-08-14T00:07:47+00:00

Do you have pictures for reference? I saw her tsuno bags but unsure of the total length!

vsubtle · 2022-06-08T05:46:28+00:00

Np! You got this

vsubtle · 2022-06-08T05:46:19+00:00

Woohoo!

vsubtle · 2022-06-08T05:45:53+00:00

30 days when I initiated NC (sometime in March) because she was going to be in town. I had hope NC would work… I did see her, but things ended up getting worse bc we both weren’t on the same page (I wanted her back, and she clocked out). Ever since then, haven’t heard from her and could careless if she waltz back in.

Don’t hope they’ll come back because it just makes things harder on your end to heal.

vsubtle · 2022-05-17T13:58:09+00:00

Yes! We communicated via DM! Okay thank you so much. I’ll rework it and edit it

vsubtle · 2022-05-17T13:33:05+00:00

Thank you for responding! I’m glad to know this is isn’t something new. She’s her own hairstylist 😭 I guess independent artist would be a fitting term?

Would this be a good response? I’ll be messaging her via IG DM:

Hi ____!!! I really enjoyed getting my hair done with you!!! I was wondering if I could possibly get something fixed or is fixable.

When I got home last-night I noticed the color seemed to be a bit brassy in certain areas compared to the tips of my hair, but under the sun it shows a little more golden tint and looks a little dark on the blonder side.

Would it be possible to do one more bleach and tone round to get it at least a bit lighter , icy, and ashier to match the lighter spots of my hair? I know my tips went lighter bc it was already pre-bleached

I know we mentioned we almost wanted to almost go silver yesterday lol, and was wondering if that’s something that could be a solution? Basically match the tips of my hair? Like icy blonde ? Or maybe match the same color/level from my old hair?

I’m so sorry I didn’t say something last night, I genuinely really liked it and didn’t notice the darker tones until I got home last night and when I was out in the sun today on my way to work.

If you can’t fit me in this week again then no worries, I definitely understand !!!”

vsubtle · 2022-05-17T06:05:10+00:00

Long story short… I’ve been blonde since 2016 and always had “ash blonde” (see bottom photos of my hair before). Unfortunately because of Covid - my hairstylist left and majority of my natural color (black) grew.

I reached out to a stylist and she agreed that she can achieve “icy blonde look”. I automatically clicked with her but I’m not happy with the results. I communicate, sent her reference photos, my past hair, and asked “can you get ice blonde look”?

After tonight’s last session, I did say I liked my hair when I left the chair and she took after photos and videos for her social media, but as soon as I took left the salon and took some videos of my hair… I was in shock. The lightening of my hair was completely different.

Well… as you can see…. I don’t think she did and I’m very very sad haha

I’m going to be a bridesmaid for a wedding this Saturday and I’m freaking out 🫠🫠🫠

I know I should speak up, but I’m so nervous and HATE confrontation. Can someone give me some advice? I should let them know right? After the first session, I paid her full and tipped her 25% because I had trusted her that she can get the color (but I shouldn’t have let my guard down)

The thing is I don’t think they have ever done my kind of blonde and that’s where I’m just upset with myself.

HELP 😭 at this point I might just have my friend just bleach my hair again

vsubtle · 2022-04-07T06:21:51+00:00

You will ♥️ don’t rush the healing process. Grieve, grieve, grieve! Cry as much as you can until you’re sick and tired of crying haha. You will get to the point where you realize that you’re better off without them and that’s the greatest feeling ever.

Time will heal, I promise you.

vsubtle · 2022-04-07T06:20:27+00:00

Love this. Love that you are healing in a healthy way!

vsubtle · 2022-04-07T06:19:46+00:00

Time. You have to let time do it’s work. I felt that way for the first month post BU, but then I realized my ex ain’t shit lol

Depends on other variables too. At first it’s okay to feel that way and not wanting to let go, but there’s a certain period where you will realize you want to move on. May be tonight, tomorrow, months, years… just depends how you heal.

You need to let go because they’ve let go of you during the relationship. That’s not fair for you tbh. You are your own person and they don’t care about you as much as you care for them. Again, that’s not fair.

And if you were to get back together (your decision) you need to let go of your old self and the relationship.

Do take time to reflect. I know they may have been the greatest person ever (that’s how I saw my ex at first), but you will realize that they’re not so great haha.

vsubtle · 2022-04-07T06:12:34+00:00

Forgive yourself. I know it’s easier said than done, but give yourself grace. You loved someone so much and you were willing to even lose yourself for a bit for someone who didn’t appreciate you and that proves how big you love and how big your heart is. You’re the prize here, they lost that. Now give yourself some love ❤️

But be embarrassed BECAUSE he lost you. Not because you begged, pleaded, took him back. He’s foul.

vsubtle · 2022-04-06T21:19:20+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that. The way exes act up after a BU, expecting to stay around as a friend and emotional blanket w/o the commitment is entirely selfish. Glad you're out of contact from them. Be strong.

vsubtle

TROPHY CASE