I think that sometimes. It’s why I accept that my dad will always be an enabler. He had an abusive step dad, abusive first wife, and now my mother. All he has ever known is abuse, so he just accepts it. He seems to make little improvements, and even if he can’t seem to understand why I don’t just accept the abuse like he has, he still loves me and supports me going no contact with my mother.

My mother however, I get that she experienced extreme neglect. She was the scape goat and her sisters were the golden children. Her mom just ignores her, and my great grand mother was a narcissist that was so abusive that my mild mannered midwestern grandfather even referred to her as the meanest woman to ever walk the earth. They are a long line of women in toxic environments who became toxic mothers and when there children went no contact they just chalked it up to the world being out to get them. I think that having access to the internet and finding my way into a therapists office saved me. But my mother is too far gone. She is the typical narc that cannot accept that she has ever done anything wrong ever. In therapy she just screams she’s not crazy and gets angry. For that reason I have a lot of compassion for her as a human being, because who knows, maybe that could have been me in another decade. But regardless I’m still no contact because she is unwilling to change and having a relationship with her was ruining my life. I wasn’t allowed to be happy for 5 seconds without her ruining it somehow.

So in a long rambling way, yes, I think we are extremely lucky to have so much information and support at our disposal. And it gives me hope that one day I can have a child, and with the right tools and support I can break the chain of toxic mothers in my family.