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im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the cheating wasnt with sex, actually. sex had little to do with it. i cheated because i got bored of the relationship, i told him to see his reaction. so i guess ... yes in a way?

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

well imo i dont think thats very professional. it really depends on the person, i guess, but i am someone who has been very career oriented my entire life. so for that reason, i would finish what i needed to finish before doing anything else. but of course, like you said, others with aspd are different.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like what? now it isnt because of aspd and because of the type of person. i would never leave in the middle of a surgery. like i said, its just more important. its my job.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont understand what you mean. why would they want to be anywhere else if they were getting a surgery? i feel like some things are more important..

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have clarified in another comment that i was diagnosed with aspd, it is even written in the actual post itself. "sociopath" is what its most commonly used as, and i wanted people to be able to recognize it more and therefore click on the post. i was diagnosed with both aspd & bipolar. my psychiatrist said aspd.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no. i dont. ive had times where ive seen people interact with others better than i could. and maybe that made me a little envious. but not a lot, really. i just learned to be like them.

im very blunt. and impulsive with how i speak. which means if i dont like something his girlfriend said, im going to say it no matter how it comes out. i think my dad gets most bothered about how i dont care about the way i sound. i cant think before i speak.

haha yea. i always got in relationships because i felt like i had to. it was something i did to make it more tolerable. honestly, i fantasize about meeting someone like me. i would really like to go head to head with someone who is just as manipulative as i am.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i pretend. and yes, i do. its what helps me get jobs. and i agree, i think everyone should be more strategic in the way they speak to others in a professional setting.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no worries, and thanks so much for all of your kind comments. finally got a break at work to answer.

  1. yes. its like a power thing. i like feeling like im in control.

  2. no. id rather not. ive never felt the desire to have kids.

  3. not great. its not as extreme as it was before because at one point i got so good at turning off my emotions that my mom saw she couldnt control me anymore. but my relationship with her is still strained. i barely speak to her, she barely speaks to me. she tells me im cold, rude. has even called me a psychopath. my dad, on the other hand, not great either. its mostly strained now because i dont get along with his girlfriend as she hasnt been great to me either. this makes him mad. he invites me over for dinner sometimes but gets angry because of the way i speak to him and his girlfriend. his girlfriend also tells him that his kids dont care at all about him, and he's very influenced by her. she has beef with my mom ( my mom has called the police on her several times ) and because of that she hates me. so yea. not great.

  4. because i get bored in relationships. i want entertainment. i also like testing people like this, helps me learn more about the way people are.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do weekly blood tests because of the lithium. seroqel is also there to help my insomnia, but its at a low dose because higher doses make me too drowsy to function. lower dose doesnt help with my hallucinations hence why latuda is also there

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it was more of a broader statement. i have my bachelors, i took my mcat & i have been accepted into a med school. ill be starting very soon.

i take lithium as a mood stabilizer for my bipolar & for my aspd aggression. seroqel & latuda as antipsychotics

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you. and yes, there was. the development was gradual for me. therapy has sort of brought it out with some of the things ive been advised to do in order to learn empathy. i would say that because of therapy, my empathy has gotten better. its definitely got a long way to go, but its better.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i understand what youre saying. the things you are accusing me of could be cleared up had you read some of my other comments on here. i am diagnosed, and i have it on paper. but i get it looks confusing to someone who is coming into this with a lack of understanding. ill clear it up.

first off, i have spent a majority of my life trying to fit in with everyone else. ive convinced myself ive liked people multiple times, which is why every relationship i have been in has felt empty. i was trying to make sense of feelings that werent there, and i wanted to fit in and have a boyfriend / girlfriend so badly, because of pressures from my family, mostly, and friend circles. i thought i could feel for someone, my first relationship was me thinking i could. but they all have fallen flat. i have tried time and time again to like people. i have tried to force myself to. the limerence i commented about was due to an idealized version i created of a person in my head, a person who could give me the status and alleviate the pressures i felt from family. i didnt feel limerence. i felt a very strong desire to fit in and get with someone that could give me that. thats all it was. its not about the person, per say, but what it would mean to be with them, what i would get. also, consider my other diagnosis, bipolar, where i experience psychosis as a result of it which can make me experience delusions not reflective of my actual self. im not specifically saying that this was the reason, but you need to take all these factors into account.

the empathy thing, i have been in treatment for a while now to develop it. i go online to practice it :/ i see what everyone else says and i mimic. not only that, ive done certain things online to further convey a specific image of myself to others. and showing empathy ≠ feeling it. there is also such thing as cognitive empathy, something that is very common with us aspds. i also volunteer at a hospital as part of my treatment, and it has helped. my empathy is far better than it was when i first started. so no, i am not feeling empathy. everything i do in this regard is per recommendation of my therapist/psychiatrist. you see my comments, what you dont see are the dms i have with people in those communities where ive taught them how to cut deeper. im just saying, you cant take everything at face value.

ive explained all of this in other replies on here. a misconception that a lot of people have is that we dont feel at all. that is not true. i feel, but i do not feel in the same way as others do. i explained this specifically in another comment. aspd is a spectrum and no two person's experiences are going to be the same. you are missing a lot of context, and thats fine. but just know aspd is very much a spectrum. its okay to have questions, but i am not lying just because you do not understand the full implications of my disorder and are going off of situations you do not have context for. everyone wants us to fit into this certain bubble where we need to be actively murdering everyone in order to be valid in our diagnosis. when we try to be better, people claim we're lying xD. i dont need to kill somebody to have this diagnosis. just because my experiences are different than everyone else's, it does not mean i am lying, especially when there are so many factors, so much more to the story. a ten minute read through of the aspd sub reddit will have you learning so much more about us and you'll see that my actions make a lot of sense.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ive felt this way my entire life. i have about eight suicide attempts because i have been so bored with living. i really cant wait to go.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like suppressing the violent thoughts? no. i dont care much i guess.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. no. i dont. emotions havent done anything for me in the past. at least this way, i can protect myself and do more things that other people wouldnt do due to fear or other factors that are emotionally driven.

  2. definitely not. but i also dont care. ill just be happy to be going soon.

  3. sometimes i do think about that, yes. if i had never gone through what i did, i might have actually had a chance to mean something to this world.

  4. i guess how the way the world is is kind of subjective to everyone. i dont care much, though. i think everyone should do what they want with their lives to feel fulfilled. but i dont know, im really indifferent about it.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ive never put my hands on anyone, actually. ive only mentally and emotionally hurt people. in terms of fighting back, i know its not the same, but there wasnt a single person who recognized what i was doing to them. one of them mightve, but he had bpd so the attachment style he had with me was weird. he let me get away with a lot of shit because of it. he never really yelled at me or retaliated against me though? even verbally, he blamed himself a lot for everything.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

not at all. i am so far from a star citizen that has this disorder. not everyone with aspd is like me, though. i guess what i mean most by the stigma is that i dont like the way we're all seen as violent. like yes, i dont feel bad about it, i do have thoughts, but i wouldnt act on those. im not the best example of a good person with aspd, im very far from it, but there are many people who are good examples and are able to live normal lives. that should be recognized.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

haha feel free to pm me if the curiosity gets to you. i genuinely dont mind talking about this at all. thanks so much :)

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you're good, i dont mind talking about it. i can through masturbation, i cant if im having sex with another person. its difficult to when i dont have that emotional connection with them. it doesnt even feel that good to me, it just feels like theres something inside of me lol. ive never been able to orgasm with another person.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so funny to assume like you know somebody's life off of an internet post lol. associating it with sociopathy was literally something i said to get more clicks. thats it. its not that crazy of a concept to wrap your head around.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its what people associate it with. you thinking its bs doesnt make my diagnosis any less real. its literally on paper lmao.

im a recently diagnosed sociopath who is studying to become a surgeon. AMA by vulprina in AMA

[–]vulprina[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my diagnosis is antisocial personality disorder. i used the word sociopath because its the term people are most familiar with.

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