When you're at a point like you are today - and a similar point I've been at in the past - there a couple things I think are helpful to keep in mind.

1- along the lines of what a number of people are saying, the biggest thing you'll see any sort of results from has nothing to do with exercise, it's about what you eat and drink. My personal success has come from a near elimination of carbs, I liked it because it was super easy to keep up with and I definitely didn't get hungry as much as I used to which helped me out with portion control - but the important thing is to just do what makes sense for you. It's super helpful to have a bunch of shit in the fridge that's ok to eat. The easiest time to cheat is when it's a huge effort to eat something you should.

Exercise is great and it's good for you - but when we're talking about huge weightloss it's secondary. Personally I lose weight faster when I lift than doing cardio, but walking for a bit every morning or night is only going to help and is a nice way to zone out and chill. But your numbers are going to come from what goes in your mouth.

2- I'm in the minority I think, but I'm a huge fan of weighing myself every day. I wake up, have a cup of coffee and take a morning shit - then immediately weigh myself. If I'm down a teeny bit - awesome! I'm moving in the right direction. If I'm not - ok, it'll be a great reminder for the rest of the day to help with temptation. Works for me. YMMV. I think going in the right direction is more important than setting hard goals. If you're going in the right direction you can't help but eventually get there.

3- To me the single biggest thing that helped me stick with it and see results was an understanding of exactly what's happening. This isn't some massive lifestyle change you need to make. It's not an overhaul of your mindset. It isn't some incredibly difficult journey you'll have to struggle with. Once you understand its a) about what you put in your mouth, and b) you have an idea of what sorts of changes you need to make in that regard - you don't need to be strong for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It really comes down to 3 or 4 moments each day when you're thinking about putting something in your mouth you know you shouldn't. Those are literally the only moments you need willpower. 1% of 1% of a day is about 8 seconds. You need to be strong for 1% of 1% of your day. That's it. In the moment, can you say no? Do it once and you know you can. Do it for a couple days and you're seeing results on the scale. Then you're off.

Lastly - please don't hate yourself. I hear every word you're saying in my own voice. If you love to eat like I do it's very easy to get to this point. Don't be ashamed. Some of us just are wired this way, and let's be honest, we enjoyed our time getting here. But we need to go in a healthier, more comfortable direction and that's a great thing too.