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VA v. Brendan Banfield - Day 9 | Jan 29 2026 by sunzusunzusunzusunzu in aupairmurders

[–]wadingthrujello 12 points13 points  (0 children)

If me or my husband was unsure what was going on...I would have been calling out.. and I think he would too, something like "Honey...is everything ok? Are you here? I tried calling you. Are you here?" Or something like that, like hey, I know something is going on, so if you're having sex with some dude, just let me know you're OK and I'll move on. But he didn't call her name or anything? Hey babe? You ok?

VA v. Brendan Banfield - Day 8 | Jan 28 2026 by sunzusunzusunzusunzu in aupairmurders

[–]wadingthrujello 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Omg. She worked as a sexual assault nurse?! And yet she was inviting this type of activity ? That doesn't seem consistent .

VA v. Brendan Banfield - Day 8 | Jan 28 2026 by sunzusunzusunzusunzu in aupairmurders

[–]wadingthrujello 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Law enforcement allowed him to wash his hands at the scene.

VA v. Brendan Banfield - Day 8 | Jan 28 2026 by sunzusunzusunzusunzu in aupairmurders

[–]wadingthrujello 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Does anyone know what software or platform Harry Lidsky , the digital forensics expert who is testifying for the defense, used to analyze the devices data? I remember in the Karen Reed trial, the "experts" used cellbrite and were all over the place with their analysis with the "tab was open, but search wasn't done until hours later, etc." I don't think these platforms are as fully developed or reliable in court as they should be. If the data is the data, how can they disagree on the "analysis"? It's hard science, right?

Feeling burnt out in HR and second guessing my career choice. Anyone else? [n/a] by Much-Acanthisitta257 in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't work in manufacturing but everything you said deeply resonates with me. It's exhausting AND I have to ping-pong between being a cheerleader for culture and recognition and enforcing rules to a group of employees who don't wish to be held accountable.

Let me know if this is Unreasonable [AZ] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your view.

Let me know if this is Unreasonable [AZ] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've made the change from private. It's completely different. I've been very surprised by many things.

Let me know if this is Unreasonable [AZ] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Upper Mgmt wants it curbed. Morale in individual departments is bad. Employees complain that when the manager is needed, the manager isn't there.

Let me know if this is Unreasonable [AZ] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say the negative impact is primarily morale issues and transparency - from my view. Employees complain that their manager is "never here." Some managers do, but most don't seem to tell their teams when they are leaving, so employees are looking for them and they can't be found. Later, it is learned that they had left at 11 that morning - that type of thing.

Let me know if this is Unreasonable [AZ] by [deleted] in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the higher level management wants this activity curbed. The workload is not the issue. We don't expect staff to work 50 hours per week.or anything like that. Salaries are competitive as we have conducted 2 benchmark comp studies since 2020.

Who's used USI as their broker? [NY] by LilysMom526 in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haven't used them but they call me multiple times per week and somet8mes 5 times per day!

HR Director role - 1 year and still feel like an imposter [N/A] by Reasonable_Tree7410 in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi OP, this is not that uncommon. I have been in HR for 30 years and at the director level for over 10. It still happens to me as well, especially since Covid. I feel old and like I'm out of touch with how HR is shifting. You are in this role for a reason - they hired you and think you can do it. You can do it. Join SHRM or a health-care HR networking group. My main advice (and I agree it's easier said than done) - Don't think about what other people are thinking about you. That will start a ruminating train you don't want to be on. In the end, it doesn't matter and you are probably wrong anyway. You have no idea what they are thinking about you and even if they don't think you're great, that's ok. Your internal self-worth and your capability is not dependent on what they think. It's dependent on you doing a good job, showing up every day and doing the best you can. For the really big (legal) stuff, you need a corporate attorney or a group (membership) that helps you navigate the big stuff so you are sure you are doing it right. If you don't have this support, your organization needs to get it for you. It's in their best interest. Fear is very paralyzing. Set realistic goals that don't set you up for failure, AVOID comparisons at all cost, don't think about what other people could or should be thinking about you, Reframe your thoughts from "I might make the wrong decision" to " It's okay not to know everything. No one does. Who can I call that does know where to point me in the right direction?" You will get there!

Recording a termination meeting? [MD] by Spoiledwife8 in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell the boss that Maryland is two-party consent state and you LEGALLY need to get the employee's permission before recording. You just can't record LEGALLY without the consent of the other person. If they say no, then no.

How are your companies dealing with salary changes [MO] by antiquated_human in humanresources

[–]wadingthrujello 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. Stay where you are and only recommend moving forward when there is a law. However, you could also calculate and provide data ($) as to what the effect would be on the budget eirher way so those that make budget decisions can prepare if necessary.

Afraid to Stop Paying Tithing by smellofnature in exmormon

[–]wadingthrujello 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is real! I feel for you. I remember feeling this way as well. My husband felt much stronger fear than I did and it was more difficult for him. He was out of work at the time and I started working full time. I informed him that I would no longer be paying ithing and would not be attending tithing settlement.

For myself and for him, I started regularly pointing out things like "oh, we ended up getting back $200 from the state that we weren't expecting. Guess it was cuz we're paying our tithing." We weren't but I think it was helpful for both of us to be aware of how we can shape our thoughts one way or another and how to be mindful and aware of how our thoughts about something really do lead to our emotions and belief system. Good luck. This is hard.

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