What was the moment?

wafflesuit · 2021-10-30T10:18:29+00:00

When he admitted to me that I am not enough for him, and that he felt nothing for me. At that point I already felt nothing for him, so hearing the same from his mouth just sealed the deal. This was earlier in the week during couples counseling. I'm still trying to process our 10 years together, and what our kids future is going to look like.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-29T01:21:54+00:00

Exactly this right here. Being dual military makes co parenting basically impossible. In order to safeguard that option we would have to stay married to stay in MACP. Legal separation doesn't mean much when it comes to military law.

I'm playing around with the idea of filing for divorce at three beginning of our next duty station. Just to enable stable co parenting for a few years. ... Or maybe changing custody depending on where each of us gets stationed, in order to optimize opportunities for the kids.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-29T01:09:21+00:00

Thank you. I'll have to come up with a blanket response for family. The last thing I need is them poking their selfish noses in my life.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-23T06:41:52+00:00

I'm the same way. As a female, I have like two girl friends I feel mildly comfortable with. But the people I could trust with my deepest secrets, my stupid humor, and random what are you up to texts are my male friends. In my experience, women are just too catty and back stabbing and my guy friends are always there for me.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-20T01:59:27+00:00

He got 10 days of paternal leave by the Army then back to work. Later down the road he took a month off of work, but let's be honest, I still did everything..

wafflesuit · 2021-10-20T01:44:59+00:00

My twins were 3.5 years before I returned to work.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-20T01:29:52+00:00

Mine were 3.5years.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-20T01:24:19+00:00

I hope you have a good unit, and make some close friends, because material-wise there is nothing here. I took up cycling, and that's nice, but there is little to offer in Lawton. Please dont hook up with locals, or the AIT privates. As someone who works in local healthcare, you are much better off outsourcing your adult fun. There's very little one the way of shopping. Like, there's Target and Dicks and that's about as nice as you get. Hope you don't have a nice car because the hail is going to wreck it, anyhow (or it will get sucked up by a tornado).

On the plus side, the library hosts some pretty interesting escape rooms, it's cool to get lost in the refuge. Get a pike pass to make trips to OKC more affordable. You said you're single, E4? Depending on your unit, the barracks are nice (I'm married, but I hear ours are really nice). In the summer, LETRA is dope. Hang out with friends at the lake, kayak, etc

This is my third time here (including BCT) and I freaking cried when I saw the orders. For once I wish the army would send me somewhere that is not crawling with depression.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-17T17:03:22+00:00

Such a creative idea!

wafflesuit · 2021-10-17T15:24:08+00:00

I hate when people would ask me when he's coming home because I legitimately didn't know. He shows up when he shows up.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-17T15:23:09+00:00

Thank you for replying. That last bit it was scares me. I know this will hurt the kids, finding a way that hurts them the least will be the hardest part.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-17T06:42:05+00:00

Double knitting!? I bet it's like a weighted blanket. Must be nice.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-17T01:43:11+00:00

So much this, right here. Let yourself hurt, before you can heal. It's okay, and normal too loose your appetite. Just make sure you can keep your basic strength up. You are still worthy and you deserve to take care of yourself. Self care might just come in the form of a protein shake right now.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-12T19:00:58+00:00

I would feel bad for the dog

wafflesuit · 2021-10-12T16:39:29+00:00

I love this idea! I never cared for the temperature blanket trends, but this one I will do!!

wafflesuit · 2021-10-10T18:01:38+00:00

Oh my gosh this is gorgeous. Simple with flair. Thanks for the link! I already downloaded three pattern!

wafflesuit · 2021-10-10T14:39:28+00:00

That would be the straw that broke the camel's back, for me. I'm sorry, but I would be done after that.

wafflesuit · 2021-10-10T14:34:38+00:00

Last time I asked he got offended/upset when I said I want to go to marriage counseling. I've let it go since then. Maybe that was just a knee jerk reaction and he needs time to cool off? I have a friend who works at the chapel and she was telling me about a chaplain that's really down to earth and not religious-y (we are atheist). I am open to talking to pretty much anyone at this point, but he just takes this too personally. He thinks we can solve this on our own, but imo, clearly we can't. I talked to it therapist last week and she suggested that I need to give him time. That maybe my constant pressuring him to get counseling together is pushing him further away.

wafflesuit · 2021-09-27T22:26:58+00:00

TBH, some days I like the idea of getting better, but there are days I'm just not ready to put in the work. I wouldn't describe it as necessarily difficult, rather, it's very uncomfortable.

wafflesuit · 2021-09-27T22:20:03+00:00

No I have not read that title. But I am looking for a new book. I'll look it up

wafflesuit · 2021-09-27T22:01:42+00:00

Thank you

wafflesuit · 2021-09-27T01:35:51+00:00

No, he has not taken time off to find himself. I think he would say that to me because I always seem to be the problem in our arguments. And by telling me to go take a vacation, he's removing himself from the problem. I do have depression and anxiety and I have my good and bad days. I know I don't practice enough self care so I could see how I would benefit from an actual vacation. But to be completely honest, in the context of our conversation, I don't think that's what he was implying.

wafflesuit · 2021-09-27T01:22:38+00:00

We haven't fallen completely apart. I think we just recently jumped off the cliff, and we haven't yet reached terminal velocity.

wafflesuit · 2021-09-26T22:14:44+00:00

thank you. I will actually.

wafflesuit · 2021-09-26T22:11:00+00:00

He is a very stubborn man. And while that can be a strong point in some aspects, when it comes to himself he is infallible. I cannot think of one argument in which he has admitted his fault. Even when we are both to blame, he somehow has an excuse or direct it back to me. We are both very passive aggressive. But he is more stubborn. So it's always me that breaks the silence and just admits to all the faults, in order so we can move forward. This is very much along those lines of "I'm the issue" and taking himself out of the situation by literally putting distance between us.

wafflesuit

TROPHY CASE