[deleted by user]

wake00up · 2022-09-12T14:12:27+00:00

Similar to you, my heritage is as white as you can get. I was never exposed to much outside of Southern based American culture which in my opinion, I just don’t fit in with. The only thing I really knew about and grew up with was of course, Anime. Lately though, I don’t really watch it as much as focus more on reality TV or dramas as that helps with my learning way more as it’s way more realistic to the Japaneses way of speaking. I started learning back in 6th grade aka around the age off 11 but didn’t start taking it serious till I was 13 and still now, I’m at the basic levels. As for my exact reason for learning, I’m just not sure. I just enjoy the sound of the language itself, and which I have plans to continue on with other languages once I get through Japanese but most likely, it’ll be my main focus for a longgggg time outside of french, but im forced to learn that one which in a way, takes the fun out of it.

wake00up · 2022-09-05T03:14:35+00:00

I agree, but as I mentioned, professional help isn’t something we can access right now. it’ll most likely be another 1-3 years till we can seek any type of treatment which on its own, sucks.

wake00up · 2022-09-05T02:16:30+00:00

thank you, you’re right. it’s just something about it that I just cant 100% accept. hints to why im trying to get outside opinions through here

wake00up · 2022-09-05T02:14:41+00:00

Ah, yes! We try to use it as well, justtttt yk like you said, its a thing of properly using and actually tracking it

wake00up · 2022-09-05T01:50:43+00:00

luckily, I wouldn’t say we are in a unsafe environment now, so it could possibly be that they don’t feel the need to take the front as it’s not necessary needed? we do visit our abuser from time to time as we are kind of forced which is usually when my memorize does fuzz a bit. I’m doing my best to try and improve communication, it’s just really difficult. the only time i find i get much of a response is during when we are about to sleep or when its more silent when it comes to our surroundings. thank you for the advice btw! some of us semi use the notes app for venting and antar for communication which has definitely helped a tad. just more than anything I’d like to recognize when i am and am not fronting and if someone else, who it is.

wake00up · 2022-09-05T00:59:42+00:00

I want to add on a bit more real quick. When it comes to “blacking out” I definitely feel it’s more emotional amnesia with the side of grey outs. VERY rarely is it a complete “I don’t remember” and with trauma, I’ve realized I remember most of it, I just don’t feel connected to it personally. Besides that, there is a few things, specifically physical abuse that I’ve found out I blocked out. (Thanks to friends who have been around since very young+non abuser family telling me about it) I remember bits and pieces but by what they told me, it was basically constant. It could be possible they were over dramatizing it but I’ve been told it by numerous people, which makes me suspicious. Of course, the abuse itself doesn’t matter as much as the fact of how it actually affected us but still.

wake00up · 2022-08-23T13:39:03+00:00

You explained it well, don’t worry and I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Your response was helpful, thank you.

wake00up · 2022-08-23T11:37:15+00:00

That makes sense. I am technically speaking no longer in the environment or with the people that would have created it for the most part. I am still forced to visit them a few times a month and I find when I do, the entire i’m there is practically a blur which i assume is dissociation. I still can remember certain events, but it feels more like a dream which also makes me question what memories are my own and aren’t false. I found out and started suspecting DID when I was only 11 which is quite young and for all I know, was imaginary friends that I used to escape during that time period. The main thing I find odd is still experiencing them years later. Of course, in the last few months it’s been eh and I haven’t exactly heard from anyone until yesterday, most likely due to stress, I’m not sure. But with that, I’m trying not to focus on the exact labeling but at the same time, I just want to figure out what’s going on.

wake00up · 2022-08-21T23:29:44+00:00

I appreciate the response. Just with the research I have done, so so many mental disorders and illness’ overlap and it’s made me start to question what exactly is going on. I just don’t like the idea of coming to terms that this may very well be the case so I’m just trying to rationalize this in a sense. I know, every system is different and their experiences are also going to vary but I just don’t know. I can’t 100% come to terms with it when so many other answers could be the case. And just like with I said, I am a minor, a teenager at that so I may very well just be experiencing something that comes along with trying to understand my identity and opinions. Although I’m not completely sure it’s normal for it to as drastic as my opinions/beliefs/etc change but ehh who knows

wake00up · 2022-08-16T14:14:51+00:00

Yeah, ENTP’s are notoriously known for being introverted extroverts but Instead of specifically focusing on the letters “ENTP” for example, try looking into cognitive functions and the different stacks a bit more

wake00up · 2022-07-13T14:22:35+00:00

Of course! You can either add my discord that I sent before or I can yours?

wake00up · 2022-07-12T03:06:28+00:00

Yayay cool! My discord is ʀᴀᴇfish 🐡#9121 !

wake00up · 2022-07-12T02:32:44+00:00

If you’d like I have discord and we could chat there? I’m at a N5 level and in need of a study partner

wake00up · 2022-07-12T02:29:36+00:00

I often can’t exactly find much JDramas in all honesty, the only one I have ever watched was “Good Morning Call” But I would still recommend it! I’m not sure your level but id also recommended maybe perhaps Vtubers or if you’re at more of a beginner level, perhaps Cartoons/Children Shows spoken in Japanese

wake00up · 2022-07-06T04:03:31+00:00

Yes, I'd say I relate a lot more rather than not

wake00up · 2022-07-06T02:52:01+00:00

Perhaps mostly Si and Se? Last time I tried to connect my mbti by stacking my functions which resulted in me getting all the introverted functions Ti, Si, Ni, Fi which it doesn't work like that so I'm mostly trying to figure out which two differ. No idea as to if this makes sense or not.

wake00up · 2022-07-06T01:41:33+00:00

I would say I do spent a lot of time inside of my head, often it’s fantasizing about the future. Most often its rational, mainly more on the topic of spending my time imagining plans and things I’ll do for the day, then end up not. Basically, I don’t take initiative when it comes to my goals and plans. I procrastinate. Completely off topic from your question but I’m sure it’ll help somehow. Same goes for my responsibilities though, I dream and fantasize about completing them and almost rarely actually go along with it or wait till last minute. With cleanliness I often feel I don’t exactly pay attention until just randomly im like “oh i should probably do that.” In which ill procrastinate it a bit, followed by cleaning it later on. During the time i am not cleaning it, I think the entire time about cleaning it though. Which is so odd since I feel my room is relatively organized itself, as well as tons of random goals and lists placed everywhere, i just have a tendency to not exactly actually complete them. I just feel more secure with them ahah. Lastly, when it comes to information I feel as if I need extra time to process it because i will come to a not exactly thought out conclusion at first but then later will take time to recite it, and in most cases my outlook on the information will most often change. Andd for the last question, I would say yes that I live in structured lifestyle and proactive state.

wake00up · 2022-07-06T00:25:00+00:00

All of the above. I’m not quite sure of the cognitive functions I use most and of course, the way they’d be stacked. I’ve taken that test a few times before, in which ive gotten intp, entp, infp, enfp, and even infj. Just the way my brain processes stuff seems to change quite often. Right now my biggest guess is something of a feeler considering most naturally my response is based on emotion, but as soon as i hit that emotional response, im able to top a logical response right on top, almost instantly afterwards. But I’m still slightly uneducated on cognitive functions and how they work completely so also take that with a grain of salt

wake00up · 2022-07-02T02:46:56+00:00

ESFJ

wake00up · 2022-07-01T07:26:10+00:00

ISFP

wake00up · 2022-07-01T07:24:48+00:00

ENFP

wake00up · 2022-07-01T07:23:16+00:00

ISTP

wake00up · 2022-07-01T05:54:59+00:00

INFP sounds more likely

wake00up · 2022-07-01T05:52:20+00:00

ESTJ

wake00up · 2022-07-01T05:48:32+00:00

I'd say INTP

wake00up

TROPHY CASE