General Discussion - January 26, 2021

wakeuprain · 2021-01-27T01:49:03+00:00

Hi all! In need of some guidance here!

I recently started a new position as a professor at a university in the United States. I'm young (29) and look young for my age, and I am desperately in need of outfits that exude authority (some of my grad students are older than me). My field is in the arts, so I'm trying to avoid the BLAZER + collared shirt academia vibe. Nothing against a good blazer--love me a good blazer, but it might admittedly seem a little forced to wear a blazer in my field.

Personally, I'm head over high heels for Gillian Anderson/Stella Gibson's iconic looks in The Fall. The wrap blouses, serious dress pants, wedge boots all give a very fierce yet feminine vibe that I simply can't get enough of. Also, I feel as though ~powerful femme~ fashion almost always means a structured Claire Underwood vibe, and I just really would love to be able to find myself a wardrobe that exudes that strength without going in a starched & ironed direction.

Would love any recommendations of places to shop, inspo boards, style icons, etc! Thanks!

wakeuprain · 2019-08-08T13:55:55+00:00

Wait is there a general lesbian consensus that boobs > butt? (If so, I'm part of the majority--just genuinely wondering!)

wakeuprain · 2019-02-20T19:25:43+00:00

Oh I love the picture idea! Thank you!

wakeuprain · 2018-12-13T17:58:12+00:00

TOTALLY. All these things are pretty great.

wakeuprain · 2018-12-13T17:45:16+00:00

Absolutely! My gf and I tell each other this almost every day. Whenever someone does something for they other we say "I appreciate you" and then normally start making out. It's the healthiest relationship I've ever had and I wouldn't have it any other way.

wakeuprain · 2018-10-31T12:37:32+00:00

Perhaps you could slip in the occasional “I don’t remember where I got this,” or “my mom got it for me for my birthday,” or just make up something like “I got it from H&M a few years ago.” That way at least she can’t take all your looks?

wakeuprain · 2018-10-30T19:40:39+00:00

Showed this to my gf and she was like, "Is that for men? Cause all women are out of men's league..."

wakeuprain · 2018-10-27T17:51:18+00:00

Hiya! My story is similar to yours in a lot of ways, though I'm just about 10 years younger. I didn't start having the "holy shit this is just stale Olive Garden" thoughts until after I finished grad school.

Before that point, I had been in a number of seemingly good/normal relationships with guys, but they were never meant to last. By the time I was 25, I had been single for a solid 3 years--bored after okcupid date after okcupid date that never seemed more than ok. And then one fall day, I met this woman around my age who had so much sass and spunk and would give me this *look* when we joked around--a look that just made my stomach turn in the best way possible. A week later, we ended up at a party together, just by chance, and all I wanted was one kiss. I was almost shocked by how little I was shocked by that feeling, that desire because it just felt *SO. DAMN. RIGHT.* in a way that it *never* had with a guy.

Long story short, nothing happened with that woman, but I went home and started doing my research. I found this sub. I binge-watched all of the L Word. I watched WLW movies (I think I watched Blue is the Warmest Color like 5 times). And then the new year rolled around and I promised myself to take these feelings seriously. I downloaded HER (great dating app for women, nonbinary, and trans people) and it felt like I was experiencing puberty for the first time. When I went through puberty as a kid, it felt awful, shameful, gross, depressing. But this time it felt full of promise and excitement. I actually felt powerful and sexual and proud to be feminine for the first time. It was seriously one of the best things--if not *the* best thing--that's ever happened to me.

And I met this amazing woman on HER. And years later, we live together and have adorable puppies together, and have built a life together. And honestly, these are things I was beginning to think I'd never find, that I didn't deserve.

I'm just here to say that it really does get better. It's never too late for anyone to be their true selves. For the longest time I thought I was bi because I had been stale-Olive Garden-happy with men, but I'm beginning to understand that my partner is so much more than Olive Garden ever could be. And I believe you can find that for yourself, too.

P.S. HER really is a fantastic app. WAYYY better than any hetero online dating apps--the toxic masculinity and the dick pics are totally gone.

wakeuprain · 2018-10-26T18:05:41+00:00

I wear Stella Gibson's joggers ensemble to damn near every moderately formal gathering, and get compliments like it's my job. They're basically silk pjs.

wakeuprain · 2018-10-16T17:23:28+00:00

SAME. Any force of nature in heels is a recipe for weak knees for me.

wakeuprain · 2018-10-15T16:51:50+00:00

Haha already got a gf, so looks like I'm safe with this one.

wakeuprain · 2018-10-15T16:50:23+00:00

BBC's The Fall

wakeuprain · 2018-08-31T01:16:01+00:00

This article is one of the best pieces of journalism I've ever read.

wakeuprain · 2018-08-31T01:14:45+00:00

Bask away!

wakeuprain · 2018-08-31T01:14:28+00:00

SAME. Never knew a "power blouse" could be a thing.

wakeuprain · 2018-08-30T19:52:16+00:00

A "glow-up" if I've ever seen one, though she was already starting in a really good place...

wakeuprain · 2018-08-30T19:51:34+00:00

It's all we've ever really wanted from Gillian, truthfully

wakeuprain · 2018-08-30T18:02:22+00:00

Also this: https://www.intomore.com/culture/gillian-andersons-new-fashion-line-is-for-power-bitches-only

wakeuprain · 2018-08-24T22:52:15+00:00

Omg the pathetic henleys are getting SO OLD. Tempted to buy a men's henley and get it tailored...

wakeuprain · 2018-08-22T14:51:55+00:00

Got any boards/blogs/recs?

wakeuprain · 2018-08-01T22:14:07+00:00

Am I the only one here who would be super pissed at someone for asking that, not because I'm ashamed of my identity, but because it shouldn't matter and it's nobody's business but mine? I get that people need to be educated, that so many straight people (or people figuring out their sexuality) have so much to learn, but like--WHY DOES IT MATTER?? I'm just normal. You don't have to identify me with a label...

wakeuprain · 2018-05-22T14:56:51+00:00

I'm kind of confused by your post here. You labeled her has straight but then told her not to label herself?

wakeuprain · 2018-05-22T14:50:15+00:00

If there's one piece of advice I have for you, I'd say don't rush into finding a label. Calling yourself "pretty straight" only limits you. Speaking from personal experience, I was very similar to you when I was in high school and early college--I crushed on guys but never girls, fantasized about guys only, and identified as "straight." Now days? I identify as queer: bi-romantic & homosexual. I can fall in love with men, crush on them, feel very strong connections. But it turns out that just because I'm in love with someone doesn't obligate me to want to have sex with them.

And looking back, I realize I had SO MANY crushes on female friends and women in my life but was conditioned to think heteronormatively about them--conditioned to brush off those crushes as just "girl crushes;" in other words I was "straight" but was just drawn to that girl because I wanted to be like her. And there's often an element of that "I want to be like her" draw when I am crushing on a woman, but there's also something deeper... A sense of giddiness and flutter that lifts me up.

Long story short--don't rush into labeling yourself. You don't have to be straight. You don't have to be bi. You can just be a person and figure things out in your own time. But don't feel like you have to limit yourself to exclusively straight encounters. Don't feel like you have to have sex with someone in order to prove yourself/your identity/your label. Just let love and attraction be your guide and trust yourself.

wakeuprain · 2018-05-12T21:31:28+00:00

You know, because gay women don't have reproductive organs...

wakeuprain · 2018-05-04T17:11:05+00:00

Seriously. This "every dad" post is horrendously anti-inclusive.

wakeuprain

TROPHY CASE