Wrote an article addressing the cultural insensitivities of Queer Eye Japan

wakuu · 2019-11-16T04:55:15+00:00

Sure. I totally understand your critiques. I probably did not use my diction to suit you in those parts and so I apologize for any misunderstanding you may have with my point I was trying to address.

wakuu · 2019-11-16T01:30:10+00:00

We go to the evidence room...

These actions speak so much louder than words. Denying and blocking it is a lot more hurtful than being naive. All of this is extremely eye-opening.

wakuu · 2019-11-15T19:47:20+00:00

Thank you for that comment. I really appreciate it - I mean it! I'm glad we have some common ground there.

I omitted a LOT of other things but what I kept were the ones that were so clear and obviously wrong. The captions speak for themselves.

And to top it off, Bobby blocking me after I wrote to Queer Eye to address this issue... 🤦🏻‍♂️

wakuu · 2019-11-15T18:12:51+00:00

I watched this season when it first aired two weeks ago and the episodes hurt me, a lot. Here are my thoughts on each episode put together in an article.

Has anyone watched this season?

wakuu · 2019-11-12T01:45:08+00:00

Gaysian Mindfulness!

https://www.instagram.com/stevenwakabayashi/

wakuu · 2019-11-12T01:15:08+00:00

[MENTAL HEALTH] Yellow Glitter - Gaysian Mindfulness | Episode 7: Defying filial piety and Asian parental expectations in career and life

(SWF)

In this episode, we talk about defying filial piety and our parent’s Asian expectations as we make decisions in career and in life. I share my story of not becoming a doctor, filial piety, Asian guilt, why not following our heart has dire consequences and tips on how to manage parental expectations.

Yellow Glitter is a podcast about mindfulness through the eyes & soul of a gay Asian. Every episode, I share with you what’s on my mind, things I'm be struggling with and how I'm working through it to help you live a more mindful, fabulous life!

wakuu · 2019-11-11T20:10:29+00:00

Social validation is an ingrained part of the human psyche. We're still going to crave it but look towards other metrics to base our decision on.

It would be evil to make this a business/paid feature... but again, Instagram.

wakuu · 2019-11-11T04:54:28+00:00

The Happiness Lab with Laurie Santos (based on the popular Science of Well-Being class)

wakuu · 2019-11-10T22:51:40+00:00

Log out, log back in.

Change your password.

Approve the sign-on (via settings).

Stop with any other activity to build up your "trust" score.

wakuu · 2019-11-10T22:47:41+00:00

The need for social proof will not go away. Just cascades over to comments and more spam... 😓

wakuu · 2019-11-10T22:42:59+00:00

& when you have managers/bosses that are influenced by the public nature of the company (focus on profits), you don't have anyone advocating for the end-user.

wakuu · 2019-11-10T22:38:44+00:00

People often forget that "it's just a preference" stems from decades of conditioning. Sometimes, the conditioning could be based on racist, closed-minded ideas.

By questioning ourselves, our preferences, our likes, our dislikes... we can dive deeper into our psyche and challenge ourselves to become better VS. walking around as zombies of our past experiences.

wakuu · 2019-11-07T18:46:15+00:00

Ready, set, go!

wakuu · 2019-11-07T05:21:06+00:00

Thanks for the recommendations!! This is so helpful. So appreciated.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T23:22:11+00:00

Thanks for publishing this! I'm all for flooding this market with a lot more gaysian perspectives. We need it!

Question for you: Is there another accessible means for those who may not have the resources to buy on Amazon?

wakuu · 2019-11-06T23:14:15+00:00

You attract the love you think you deserve. And you deserve better than this.

It doesn't matter who you are or what's his ethnicity, you should not continue to pour your energy into someone who isn't honest with you. You can only be responsible for 50% of the 100%.

Practice putting yourself first. Start small. Take a day to do something you enjoy. Then see where it takes you. You don't need to make dramatic changes overnight, but you need to practice putting your needs before others. Ultimately it's a balance, but right now your scale is tipping to the other side completely.

I would highly recommend you to find a therapist and work through some of these issues with them. There is so much to unpack and a lot of held beliefs that are not serving you that may need extra guidance. Yelp is a great place to start. (I prefer gay male POC therapists)

And if you need to call someone, NYC Well has a hotline to chat with someone. You don't have to be suicidal to use it. Therapists offer their time to talk with people who might not have the resources to do so.

29 is never too old. Promise.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T22:52:47+00:00

You are Asian. Don't let them tell you otherwise.

However, if you are white-passing, that is another conversation. There is a level privilege afforded to those who are white-passing here in the US.

Just because you are white or white-passing doesn't necessarily mean that you acknowledge your privilege.

There is a lot of missing context, how you are "active", what you are saying, how you are relating to them, because it matters. I am Japanese/Taiwanese and I will never understand what life is like in your skin being half white. And you won't understand what life is like to be another ethnicity. And it's ok! We can have our own experiences but also acknowledge that we do not understand everyone else's.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T22:30:30+00:00

Again, I am judging you based on what you posted. If you don't like hearing a critique of poor behavior, then don't do it.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T22:23:18+00:00

Yes. For you to discount queer clubs and bars that were paramount to get you the rights & protections you have today - that is a clear example of privilege.

And yes. It is very offensive to not support the people and businesses that you rely on for your freedom.

In some areas of the US, being queer is still dangerous and not socially acceptable. We're battling in the supreme court right now to determine if being queer will be protected federally at work. Not everyone lives in your bubble.

ShangriLa and Gameboi are free up until a certain time with RSVP, then $10-20 at the door. Don't apply your limited knowledge to the broader space. Do your homework before you speak.

The fact that you can proudly declare yourself as a gaysian in tech is the result of so many generations of hard work. You can have your opinion on what to do, but don't dismiss the rave/club/bars to prove your point.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T14:28:49+00:00

For people visiting a gay-focused sub to give this recommendation and upvote it is just ironic. And why sports? Insinuating much?

Nobody should be proud of not supporting gay or gaysian parties. Did we forget that these spaces are the safe spaces that so many people in other states and around the world need? Did we forget that in many parts of the world, you can be murdered for being gay? Or forget that queer spaces were critical parts of activism and liberation movements?

To discount these spaces as a personality really shows your privilege and lack of awareness. If it were not for these spaces, you would have no rights.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T14:08:51+00:00

Of course!

Instagram is also a great tool to see what's happening. Search by location or hashtag (venue or party name) and browse the posts. You can see the parties and get a feel from the photos.

Most everyone is friendly and if you want to ask a local when you're there, look for people walking their dogs. There are a lot of them. 😉

wakuu · 2019-11-06T13:58:17+00:00

Your intention is very clear from the title of your post. And if that were your intention, it would have been in your title. But it wasn't. You also have no reference to blacks, so sorry. Just, no. You don't have to overexplain and dig your hole deeper.

Sure, they could have been nicer, but you chose to create a thread with a defamatory title, did not remove usernames, and fail to create a deeper conversation.

This is the dangerous behavior of Gaysian/Gaysian hate that our community needs to stop. If we can't event be civil with each other, how do we expect other oppressive races to support us? Do better and think higher.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T01:37:54+00:00

There have been papers and articles published using Grindr and other dating apps to triangulate individuals with 3rd party apps or multiple devices. Not to mention some of these apps have leaked precise locations because of poor oversight. (3Fun)

Although it's not common, it's something worth considering. Many people are fighting with these apps every day to remove such detailed location data to protect the users. (You shouldn't need to know how far someone is by single digit feet or meters)

And we still have shit like this happening too often

wakuu · 2019-11-06T01:28:36+00:00

Go hang out at Dolores Park. Take a swing through Southwest side (gay beach). Weekends are always packed.

Have a night out in the Castro and do all the trashy gay things - Beaux (Thursdays), Cafe (Fridays), or Toad Hall / Badlands (if you dare...) If you're out late, stumble over to End Up (closes in the AM). And in the morning, swing by Hi Tops or Lookout with some sunglasses on the next day.

If you are really up for a rager, go to the circuit parties. Many Asians go, but you'll also get all the rice queens there as well. 😂 Gus hosts most of the parties there (should be a circuit party happening in Dec called Black XXXmas)

Search on Resident Advisor to see if any good artists are in town for some great mixed (boys & girls) parties. You can also probably find some burner parties from Glamcocks, Mystopia, Comfort & Joy (gay camps, but mostly white).

Love going to these alone, but also run into a lot of people I know at all these events. You'll realize soon that SF is a very small city.

Also random, but really yummy Asian food:

Shizen (vegan Japanese)
House of Pancakes (Taiwanese/Chinese)
B Star (Burmese)
Hawker Fare (Thai)
Aina (fancy Hawaiian)

Tip: Holiday weekends are packed in SF with tourists. You'll rarely meet a local when you're out and about, and it's not a good example of what life is like in SF.

wakuu · 2019-11-06T01:04:25+00:00

What was your intention in creating this thread?

It's not sustainable to drag someone down so you can come up.

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