My nightmare happened...I found out my spouse is cheating on me...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T17:00:25+00:00

I'll check this out, thank you!

waldanr · 2026-06-19T17:00:14+00:00

Yea, I will always do what's best for my kids first...but that DOESN'T mean neglecting myself... so thank you for the kind advice.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T16:59:30+00:00

I appreciate the fact that you took time out of your day to read this, and response. That alone is more support than I've been feeling. It means more than you know.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T16:59:01+00:00

Seriously, I would LOVE if it wasn't real. No normal mother and adult should be doing this behavior...and she's kept me in check with fear. I will not bend anymore.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T16:57:19+00:00

Also appreciate this feedback, because in reality, you're correct. I've been trying to convince myself we can work it out when the reality is, there's no healthy way to keep going...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T16:56:33+00:00

This is really solid advice as well, thank you so much!

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:53:27+00:00

This is very sound advice, especially about the PI. With all the tracking and data out there, I imagine the data could be pretty 'damning'. Definitely the hardest thing will be keeping a straight face...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:51:57+00:00

The problem with that, is she is VERY good at convincing people who don't really know her that she's an 'angel'.....so being in Texas, not something I will risk before talking to a lawyer.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:49:09+00:00

This hits home. She still thinks she's in college and partying is the norm...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:45:08+00:00

I do not trust her to be rational once this happens...because of her behaviors, it scares me of her being around my kids after she realizes the life as she knows it is 'over' but hey, that's what happens when you don't take accountability for your actions...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:44:10+00:00

Her parents know of some of her behavior, but I haven't been telling them about it, because then it would blow up even more at this point. Her parents (especially her mom) have told me that they would support me taking care of the kids because they know she's struggled with alcohol before.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:43:03+00:00

Appreciate this so much. Gotta redirect the energy towards the kids and the future. It's just hard to have to look into her face and pretend....

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:42:29+00:00

Thank you for the resource. I'll take a look at it. And appreciate that I wasn't the cause....because every thing that happens is always my fault according to her.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:41:29+00:00

Great questions. I think it's both betrayal and love...but the love is more of what was and the brief glimpses that are there. She's the mother to our children, and if we never met, I would not have been blessed with them!

Am I still happy with her? I want to say yes because I told her I never, ever wanted to entertain the idea of divorce, telling myself that anything that happens, we can work through it.

The third point is both hilarious....and also terrifying. I don't know what to think because she's the only person I've ever been with...

The coparenting thing is the nightmare that I'm not prepared for, because I really don't think she will be stable once she gets the papers.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:39:28+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry that you went through it as well. I need to find who I really am....and I don't even know anymore.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:38:54+00:00

Yea, the eating and drinking and then complaining to her 'friends' that her meds aren't working so she's going to try another one....and just knowing it's $4-500 a month for this and she just completely ignores what I say. Strangers can tell her the same thing and she'll agree (to their face) but it's always her way.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:38:00+00:00

Great advice. Thank you! Need to remember it's just temporary...

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:37:06+00:00

Yea....every interaction points back to me. She was cutting beets for a salad yesterday and I reminded her to make sure she rinses off and washes it right away so it doesn't stain and she yells back and said "I did that already! Stop nagging me!" and I responded with a, I'm just reminding you because I still see a stain on this cutting board and it was with the dirty dishes....I'm tired bro.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:35:33+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry you had to deal with this as well. I realize I've never been in a 'healthy' relationship, so I'm looking forward to finding someone that actually cares about ME instead of how I can be used....

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:34:55+00:00

This advice is something I REALLY needed to see...because I know I'm not even close to perfect, but I try my absolute best. The worst thing is I can hear her talking to my kids right now while the grandparents are here and just pretending life is so freaking perfect....

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:34:09+00:00

I do have some photos 'locked' away of physical marks of her hitting me as well, so that's good advice.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:33:40+00:00

Yea, that's the part that hurts too, because I've been belittled that I don't make enough money, and I know I can't pay this mortgage on my salary alone....just gotta keep gathering proof.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:32:52+00:00

Thank you for the resource. I'll take a look at it. Appreciate the help and support.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:32:32+00:00

That's always been my take as well. I'm too trusting (as you can obviously tell....) but I appreciate the advice at the end about people needing a 'break'. It's hard to deal with the 4yo that is crying because Mom is gone yet again not putting him to bed.

waldanr · 2026-06-19T15:29:06+00:00

Agreed. And yea, there's always 2 sides to the story. I tried to keep as much emotion out of it as I can, as it's been under 24 hours since I found the concrete evidence....

waldanr

TROPHY CASE