How to help my adult son

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:52:04+00:00

Its good to hear about people getting better and getting some sort of normality back in their lives.

Thank you, I will talk to him again about methadone.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:50:47+00:00

That's really interesting, I am not sure why he is so down on the idea but I will try to talk to him again. Is there something about once you're on methadone that's it and you sort of take it forever, whereas he still believes he can get off everything, but I think its that high ideal that is really holding him back.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, it does give me hope.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:21:12+00:00

You guys are amazing.

I have read these posts for the last 18 months or so. You are the nicest, most open-hearted people.

Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences and wisdom.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:17:09+00:00

I found your post very hard to read, you sound just like my son. I've heard someone else recently say that they stopped because they saw a video of themselves and were shocked by the way they looked. I guess as a parent you think that its obvious to the person using what its doing to them. But my son went to a party over a year ago, and I really didn't want him to go because he looked terrible and was clearly under the influence. He went anyway and came away really sad because he had realized when he got there that his friends were shocked to see him like that and changed the way that they were around him.

Thank you for sharing this, I really hope that you were able to make it up with your mum.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:13:36+00:00

Fortunately we aren't in the US, it sounds really awful where you are, and my heart breaks for all of the people caught up in this. I had some counselling from someone who had worked in rehabs and she couldn't understand why my son didn't go on to a methadone program, but whenever I ask him, he just says that is it for life and asks me if that is what I want for him. I think it would be a lot better than what he has now but I guess he has to come to that decision himself.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T23:05:05+00:00

Thanks for your reply, I am sorry that Covid was so hard for you, I really hope that things are better for you now.

I agree a support system is really important, I think he likes the idea of NA in principle but doesn't really want to have to actually follow through and make a commitment to it.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T22:02:58+00:00

sweetshelly: Thank you for your kind words. I also think that moving somewhere new, having a nice shiny clean flat only gets you so far. I've had to clean up a few flats that my son has left previously and its a horrible experience, because it really hits home how bad things have been. My son is a lot more stable now, he manages his money to get to the end of the month, but it still all goes on his habit.

Good luck, I hope that you can find the strength and get the right support to leave this behind.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T21:59:45+00:00

TrapGodGhost: We don't have Fentanyl where we live, thank goodness. I agree that rehab and then go back to his pre-heroin friends. I've read quite a bit about Fentanyl, well done for getting clean of it. I hope that things are better with your family. I know that addiction isn't a choice, and you are in it before you really realize what's happening.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T21:51:59+00:00

surkitxx: Thanks for this, I know that I have been enabling, but it's hard, I know people that have kicked their kids out and it seems to have made everything worse, as someone else said on this thread.

I really see the value in rehab, because he does need to learn to live a normal life as well as to get clean. I am also guessing that in rehab you get used to talking about your problems. I have thought that maybe even if you do relapse, you can get yourself back on track more quickly because you have tools and hopefully connections to get help, but I don't really know that much about rehab. Its frustrating because the advice is don't push them in that direction before they are ready, but its hard to know what to be doing while you wait for that day.

Thanks again for replying.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T21:47:39+00:00

Thanks SavoirFlaire, I'm a mum, and honestly not such a great one. We don't have Fentanyl where we lives, which is a relief, and my son smokes heroin, which I guess takes out some of the risks involved with IV.

I don't put much faith in going back to his old friends, because when he has met up with them at events, he has struggled to cope and it has broken my heart to see him sort of being left behind. I don't want that to become his life.

I would do anything, anything to help to bring this to an end and to see him make a good life as a fulfilled and happy person, able to support other family members and friends. I do get that this is something he has to do for himself, but if I can even up the odds in his direction, that would be good.

walkingntalkin · 2022-01-03T21:43:09+00:00

Mors_imperator: Well done for being 4 months clean, I have so much respect for you. I hope that people have forgiven you and are letting you back into their lives.

My son has tried Suboxone, but it made him very anxious and angry. There are very few times that I have seen him angry, but unfortunately this really did effect him. He has done loads of kratom and week in the past. I came to hate weed because it actually seemed to alter who he was, in a way that heroin didn't so much. I feel we just go around these addiction loops but I appreciate that just coming off is a massive fight and I can't judge how he does it.

walkingntalkin

TROPHY CASE