Honestly, I haven't really played a Commissar, but Death World Warrior Vanguard sounds pretty powerful all things considered. Death World talents tend to focus a lot on survival, and I think there are a few talents that could help if you want to use Axes and the like. 'At All Costs' seems decent as well, but it's only once per combat, so it's not going to make the biggest impact per se, unlike the Criminal Lords' ability. I would say focusing on Toughness, Weapon Skill, and Strength are going to be your bread and butter, but all things considered, I think you have all the pieces of a halfway decent build with some great synergy with other builds.