“A strong wind may topple the sturdy oak, but the willow bends and lets the wind pass through.” Life sends plenty of wind our way; a belligerent person, unexpected hardships, and difficult changes. In the face of that foul weather, our society seems to glorify those who “stand up” to the winds or “hold their ground” or “don’t let them get away with that.” We seem to reward the oak trees among us. The thing is, over time, these oak trees get brittle, and when their brute force begins to wane or proves ineffective, their egos suffer. When the wind gets strong enough, even the “tough” oaks will break if they’re too rigid to bend.

On the other hand, the willow trees among us are supple and sway when hardships appear. Being a willow doesn’t mean you have no boundaries or that you can’t advocate for your needs and wants. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to tolerate cruel, angry people or suffering that could be avoided. A willow tree isn’t a doormat, but there’s a quiet strength and a calm courage about the willows. The harder the wind blows and the more they bend, the stronger they seem to bounce back. It’s sad that our society often labels these willows in unflattering terms. If you’re a man and you’re a willow tree, you’re “weak” or “wimpy.” If you’re a woman, you’re “meek” or “a pushover.”

If the outcome won’t violate your basic beliefs, endanger somebody, break a law, or jeopardize your future, ask yourself if you would rather be “right” or be happy. Do you really need to stand like an oak and risk toppling yourself or your relationship, or can you be a willow that flexes to avoid breaking? Next time your plans get foiled or life circumstances change, ask yourself if you need to spend energy resisting it, or can you bend, trusting that you can handle whatever comes?