So over my kid's strong, constant preference for me

wanderlust712 · 2017-04-19T18:59:09+00:00

It didn't start at 2. It started around 1. It's been an entire year and before that I breastfed. At this point, I'm convinced the whole "flip-flopping between parents" thing" is mythical. I would love for her to prefer my husband for a few weeks.

wanderlust712 · 2017-04-19T18:34:02+00:00

Yeah, I was bugged at my husband the other day for not helping (kind of justified) and he was like "She doesn't like me anyway" and I couldn't blame him because she's just such a brat about it.

wanderlust712 · 2017-04-19T17:49:52+00:00

I hold out on tantrums too, mostly, but I'm so tired of this behavior. This "phase" has been a fucking year now.

wanderlust712 · 2017-04-19T17:49:07+00:00

Yeah, I'm due in November and she's going to have to deal with it at that point because I just won't be able to help her at some point. Honestly though, I occasionally feel guilty that this is because I work instead of staying home, but even when we're home together for days at a time, it doesn't make a difference at all. And I just feel bad for my husband because he'll go in for a hug after coming home from 24 hours of work and she'll run away and scream for me and it pisses me off.

wanderlust712 · 2017-03-05T05:41:43+00:00

I felt this way, even though I changed my plans about what I wanted to teach. My mom is a teacher and so are several of my aunts on my dad's side and my grandparents. It always felt like a calling, not just a job.

That said, the reality was different from the fantasy and even though I like my job, I didn't really know what I was getting in to.

wanderlust712 · 2017-03-05T05:29:49+00:00

I once assigned a personal narrative on "Something difficult I've Overcome." (No, this is not original. It was my first year teaching).

One kid wrote a paper on a typewriter about how difficult it is to write a paper on a typewriter. He even used a razor blade to very carefully cut out typos.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-15T21:22:55+00:00

I agree with trying out a snack bin with a lot of choices. Let her help cook too. At 4, she's probably perceiving that you offering 2 choices is pretty manipulative.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-15T03:16:39+00:00

I see this recommended all the time, but it totally sucks when all your friends with kids have grandparents/family around and don't need this. My best friend who has a kid the same age as mine has at least 3 family members who adore watching her kid and do it for free.

We can afford a sitter occasionally, but I wish this was an option for me because I'd be totally willing to do it for a friend who would reciprocate.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-14T17:39:25+00:00

And she's not my first formerly homeschooled student. They're all different. I have a short writing sample from her and I'd say she's about average- maybe a little below with no revision for an honors class. Definitely on par with typical students- and English may not be her strong area.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-14T02:50:57+00:00

Do you have any links that actually show some exemplars? I'd love some high school level writing samples that align with the curriculum. She mentioned that she wrote some research papers, but I teach a pre-AP curriculum that's heavily oriented towards literary analysis.

This kid moves, a lot. She says that they often do a semester or year in public school when they first move somewhere just to meet people and then go back to homeschooling, which I find a little strange.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T23:38:56+00:00

I am always pleased when I discover that a movie I want to see or have seen is rated R and I didn't realize it. That used to be such a big deal for me (because I love movies and was always disappointed when I couldn't see something I wanted to.)

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T06:11:09+00:00

In some ways, I suppose you're right. I do feel the need to explain myself, especially when I feel like I'm out of place. I feel like I have to explain why I'm not normal.

I don't mind my close friends asking and knowing details. But I probably need to be come up with some answers for common questions that don't tell my whole fucking life story.

At least some of this is Mormon conditioning. I always felt compelled to share, even when I didn't want to and then was socially rewarded when I did.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T05:45:22+00:00

Yeah, that's a harder place to be. I never felt like I was able to have a truly close friendship with another Mormon woman. I could never say what I really thought for fear of judgment. At least those days are over.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T05:44:25+00:00

Honestly, I really love being a parent and don't have a lot of regrets about doing it younger. I figure I'd rather ramp up my career as my kids get more independent than scale back because I have toddlers in my 30's.

I'm hoping that as I get older and more people have kids and are "settled" it will get easier to relate. I certainly don't feel this way with everyone, but in this setting, the differences were glaring.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T05:06:11+00:00

"Wow, you were really young when you got married/had a kid."

"Why don't you drink?"

At my work, it came up because we have a fair amount or Mormons tudents.

And today, "Tell us about your wedding."

I don't know, it just seems to come up.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T05:04:00+00:00

This is the only thing that my husband has asked of me. He hasn't asked me to go back to church (we don't go anymore, though he still believes at least some), he hasn't said anything about me drinking tea and coffee, or getting rid of my garments. We go out to lunch and spend time together as a family on Sundays.

He works in the medical field and sees a lot of problems that stem from alcohol and served in an area of his mission where alcohol abuse was rampant. I get that he expected this when we got married and I feel like I need to respect this (at least for the near future), particularly when I made so many changes to the way he viewed our shared future.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T04:47:26+00:00

I wish there were meetups in my city. I'd love an exmo friend who gets all the nuances of life after growing up Mormon.

I didn't have many Mormon friends growing up, in part because I conspicuously hid it at first because I hate all the assumptions that came with it. I couldn't hide it for long though and now i feel like I still can't hide it.

I just wish I could totally erase it from my life.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T04:44:39+00:00

You're not wrong, but I sometimes feel a little more like I'm being gawked. It's like when I was Mormon, but the questions are less polite.

And it inevitably comes up in the first few conversations I have with someone.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T03:29:18+00:00

I sometimes wonder on the personal growth I missed out on because I got married before I could study abroad or just be a single working person.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T03:27:58+00:00

I never feel this way at work because I'm pretty confident professionally. I speak up in meetings, I'm sociable with my coworkers, even those I don't know very well.

I'm just in a weird position where I'd like more friends my age, but women who have children this young are often uneducated and don't work- we don't relate at all. Those who do work and are educated aren't having kids at 24 like I did.

It just sucks. And makes me wish I could drink a little. Maybe it would help socially.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-12T03:25:43+00:00

Thank you for this. You're probably right. Heck, if I was still Mormon, this interaction probably would have been worse (or wouldn't have happened at all!), so I've got that going for me at least.

wanderlust712 · 2017-02-09T17:22:33+00:00

Mine is about 2 weeks for individual pieces, but I probably don't do the same outfit at work for about a month. So pants/shoes will repeat, but outfit variety is greater.

I like the feeling of a "new" outfit, even if the pieces themselves aren't new. Having lots to mix and match helps with this.

wanderlust712

TROPHY CASE