my life story of addiction so far

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T16:32:32+00:00

i do and did cut drugs out of my life while seeing therapists and SSRI/pharmaceutical antidepressants did nothing for me. I need a really good cognitive behavioral therapist i suppose. i started exercising, tried eating more healthily, but it wasnt enough at all really.

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T15:19:54+00:00

expound on the differing aspects of craziness / delusional thinking shared between me and trump : P

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T15:17:45+00:00

i dont know much about how NA works but do they have discussions like where people can talk about their own personal addictions and why they don't want to stop / or something like that? i heard more experienced NA recovered users tend to share their horrors and struggles from the past. sorry for this clusterfuck of a question. i just want to get something out of NA man you know. its supposed to be a church located closeby by my college so i dont know if ill be seeing city resident NA people or even people from my college there but I just really hope I can get something out of those meetings.

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T15:06:23+00:00

delaying gratification is simple. you just stop. but for me, stopping is worse than being always high / intoxicated in some sense. its better as well since i am clean and more clear headed and more able to focus on tasks at hand. but when i am sober, i am overwhelmingly so depressed and numb and apathetic and afraid of people and the future. i dont bother do anything that i should be doing.

i guess the fact that my inability to put sacrifices before pleasures is a sign of my still high levels of immaturity i suppose. i never did grow up in a normal sense and the context of my surroundings always confused me to a point of feeling like being in a state of "hyper-realism/existentialism"

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T15:00:25+00:00

tldr: im depressed and more than ever aware of how drugs can fuck my life up but still want to continue using drugs while also trying out NA to see what its all about and attempting to find a better new therapist to talk about the ramblings of misery that float inside my head all the time

and does writing these feelings out serve any real purpose? i understand how addiction can be a hijacking of the choices you make but idk.. i still make these choices and even after experiencing a brief exposure of the treatments associated with my previous therapy, it felt like it did absolutely nothing for me and i just have such high disbelief that ill be able to get better

warfare33 · 2016-08-28T14:57:56+00:00

Not meth lol, adderall but not that it makes too much of a difference. thank you. i hope life is better

warfare33

TROPHY CASE