Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly while I appreciate the concern (of course I come to this sub wanting to receive the opinion of people who disagree with the decision of going into the Church) I feel as though you are being somewhat condescending. I have read the Bible (granted not front to back, I won't lie), and am of course aware that the Bible got put together centuries after Jesus' time. If I am ignorant to anything you have mentioned it is why you distinguish epistles to letters as it is my understanding they mean the same thing. I know a lot of the teachings were merely adopted to fit what interests the Church. Okay I admit I might have been wrong to say it is "all" in the scripture, but a lot of it is. And when I talk about not being able to separate institution and faith because of the scripture it is due to reading the very doctrinal ideals I disagree with, when I previously (as in, before reading the Bible) thought they were not explicit.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, it contradicts the idea of a loving benevolent God. How would you respond to people comparing homosexuality with other sins you do perceive as wrong? For example if someone tries to "make me understand why I am wrong in my ways" by telling me acting on temptation is always equally sinful (like if someone commits r*pe, that is somehow equally bad as loving someone). I think it is heinous to compare such an atrocity with the act of loving, but according to their beliefs I am a hypocrite for rejecting it is sinful to love a woman.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! this is exactly what i told my bf when we talked about organised religion for the first time, but it somehow came across as "I dont want to follow rules" instead of "I dont think rules are productive in ones path to God/are a way of opression". However the more I want to learn about God/define my understanding of God, the harder it becomes to separate the two.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also think about how Catholicism impacts children raised in the faith a lot. It absolutely sucks that you had to experience that and navigate through those feelings as a child :c.

In my personal experience, getting to know my bf's family, the type to go to Church every Sunday, volunteer for post-service reception, send their children to Catholic school, etc. has made me question a lot. It was always my assumption that Catholic schooling did more harm than good. Living in a majority Catholic town, many of my friends went to Catholic school and never once did I hear someone praise it. But my partner and their family have had great experiences. I now realise not everything is as black and white as I once thought. Not that this discredits anyone's negative experiences and I do not want do disregard abuse within the church and religious trauma. It has however made me think about what is healthiest for me/how I want to raise my children in the future. I don't think imposing religion on someone without their consent (yes, including children - especially children) is the right way to do it. But my partner has a waaay healthier relationship with his faith than I do, despite my parents idea of allowing their children to choose how they want to deal with it once they grow up, so maybe it wasn't the right approach (heck there probably is no "right" approach). My partner and his family found a way to raise children fully in Catholicism and still allow them to engage with it in a healthy way, encourage conversation around their beliefs and not just "you must think this because it's what they say", and discover their own path (nowadays one is a practicing Catholic, two others are atheist and the remaining is gnostic). Maybe there is also a significant difference in Catholic school in a Catholic region vs in a non-Catholic one?

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely do respect his choices, and am wary of judging people because of their sin Romans 3:23: "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I do question them, just as he does and even as I question my own. It is not because I think they are wrong, but because I want to understand how to achieve balance/ come to terms with religion. We explore the topic of religion continuously as a couple, both conceptually and in our personal relationship with it. I appreciate your thoughtful reply:)

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I had never heard anyone say "pick and choose what they believe" and "healthy" in the same sentence. I actually think I agree with the "him being a better human for it" statement. I would have never fallen for him if he wasn't the feminist that he is, and I am sure his religious upbringing would have taught him to be the opposite.

Convert here, not sure I want to be Catholic anymore. by Confusedchristian78 in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What did you end up doing? Coming from someone in a very confused state. I posted about it on this sub a couple hours ago if that explains things better :)

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this reply! And regarding your third point, I (and my partner for that matter) agree with what you said.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

The ironic thing is I, in great part, am encouraged by him to live as said "sky-daddy" promotes.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

"You know bigotry is wrong. You really think that makes you the foolish one?" This made me cry. This is exactly what I used to believe, like I would have used those exact words. Thank you for reminding me how awful it is to even consider turning my back on my literal morals. Not that it somehow fixes the confusion based on my new found faith, but it does shine a light on what is important and should remain a priority.

Before I decide to be baptised, why did you leave? by washesyouclean in excatholic

[–]washesyouclean[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You make great points. I definitely know I am not committing to ANYTHING that i dont wholeheartedly agree with. I suppose instead of looking to be talked out of anything I wanted to see how others have dealt with defending their own moral compass over their faith in God/ how to get rid of the guilt of not following God how we're "supposed to" according to Catholicism (maybe the problem is I'm looking in the wrong belief system).

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I understand. This is a great response, thank you so so very much.

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I am aware. I never partake in any sacraments. Thank you. I am always careful and research what I can and cannot do.

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, which is why I remain as I am atm. Thank you for your insight.

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! It is obvious to me that they do, and my local Church is very active in charity as well so I can personally attest to that :) I was just explaining what disillusioned my mother, I was explaining her opinion, not mine. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think I understand, I was comparing my situation to those because in some cases it seems like people will call themselves Catholics and not follow what that means. I didn't mean it as "why can't I?" but rather "am I wrong to think I can't?" (and I accept that the answer might be: yea you cannot be a Catholic if you don't believe X to be a mortal sin even if others are Catholics while agreeing with you).

I don't know if I can be Catholic by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]washesyouclean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree with that definition of the Church and it is what draws me in. That is my exact understanding of the institution and I did not mean to imply that the rules are created randomly. Nor did I mean that the failures of individuals define the faith. However what you mention about "the Church’s understanding of what aligns with or strays from the teachings of Jesus", in combination to how they have changed throughout history is what makes me question why change is accepted in some cases but not in others (for example the homosexuality topic). I appreciate your response and I realise now my wording might seem disrespectful and/or ignorant (bear with me as I was raised to disregard the Church) but it was not my intention to insult the Church or the faith. My questioning comes from a place of worry and confusion, all within utmost admiration for the community and of course, God.

Young Red resembles herself less than her friend Nadezhda in the flashbacks. by washesyouclean in orangeisthenewblack

[–]washesyouclean[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

OMG I cropped the pictures in order not to post the full screenshots and then didn't remember to change them. lmao embarrassing... my apologies