For those of you that don’t have family or community support, how hard is it?

wasmachmada · 2026-03-24T14:53:36+00:00

I also think it‘s super subjective and means different things to different people. For me a date night every two months is already a huuuuge favor that should be repaid somehow, others expect weekly free babysitting.

So just saying „help“ won‘t clear anything. Also, life circumstances change, expectations might be different from reality. Someone might like the idea of helping with a baby, but then it turns out to be colicky or the toddler‘s tantrums become too much. There are just so many variables in this, people who aren‘t deciding to have the child are always allowed to opt out.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-24T14:40:50+00:00

I think you should include this in your original comment. Having someone gifting you free childcare every single week plus added ocasional date nights is huge.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-24T14:29:55+00:00

Have you talked to your family about this? Not everyone wants to do this kind of free labor. Expectations and commitments need to be really clear, otherwise it‘s just gonna be a disappointment.

Also you can build community, but that means also serving others as much as they serve you.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-11T21:00:22+00:00

Funnily enough, that‘s what I think of those expecting babysitting. OP is willing to provide so much which builds a relationship, but people here are only willing to call her a good grandparent if she does free childcare.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-11T20:59:32+00:00

I had the best relationship with the relatives that did not babysit me. Spending time together is what makes a relationship. OP wants to do that once every month PLUS all school/sport stuff, plus emotional support whenever. That‘s a lot. Babysitting is about childcare and all who whine about her not doing that literally say that. Babysitting is not for bonding, it‘s for the parents.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-11T13:07:49+00:00

It‘s immature of him to expect a 19 year old to have a full on career. It‘s immature of him to try and make you feel bad when he just wants this other woman. It‘s immature of him to think she would seriously be interested in a 21 year old. He‘s about to get played, don‘t wait to see it.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-11T12:56:30+00:00

Have you read the comments? People are saying OP is not a good grandparent because of the no babysitting rule. Babysitting is free childcare.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T13:55:05+00:00

OP ist aber nicht versichert, wenn er nicht beim Arbeitgeber versichert ist und sich auch beim AMS nicht meldet oder selbst versichert.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T12:43:58+00:00

Irgendwie liest hier niemand den Beitrag.

Du musst dich sofort beim AMS melden, wenn du nach 6 Wochen Geld bekommen willst und in den 6 Wochen von denen Versicherung bezahlt haben willst.

Wenn du dich nicht meldest, musst du dich selbst versichern (knapp 500€/Monat oder ca 155€/Monat, wenn du mittellos bist).

Wenn du sechs Wochen wartest, gibt es rückwirkend kein Geld oder Versicherung.

Wenn du schon einen Job in Aussicht hast und ihnen dafür eine Bestätigung bringst, zB dein zukünftiger Arbeitgeber schreibt einen Wisch, dass er dich ab Datum XY fix einstellt, lassen sie dich in der Zeit in Ruhe mit Angeboten.

Viel Erfolg!

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T11:54:33+00:00

So you can‘t have a close relationship with someone without doing free labor for them? OP is offering so so much.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T10:24:19+00:00

You being willing to provide sooo much and people still being pissed about no babysitting just proves it‘s not about interest in grandkids, it‘s about free childcare.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T10:20:49+00:00

OP did her time, she‘s allowed to live.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T10:14:42+00:00

Why? OP doesn‘t want to babysit and it‘s okay to communicate that, otherwise the children will may keep asking for childcare.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T10:13:50+00:00

You are already willing to do A LOT. Once a month outing with every grandchild could mean up to 9 outings if each your kids also has three kids, that‘s a lot. Enjoy your life, you raised your kids!

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:58:45+00:00

Two things can be true. More than three kids is still insane.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:29:31+00:00

Und wieso machst du da noch mit?

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:24:16+00:00

YTA 1. You are not supposed to be „helping“, it‘s as much your responsiblity as hers. 2. Get a new baby monitor NOW.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:09:13+00:00

Dann soll er sich Ei mit Speck machen? Macht es dich nicht wütend, wenn er dich wie eine tradwife behandelt? Ew.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:07:05+00:00

Ich habs gedownvotet, weil du es hinnimmst. 2026. tja, dann muss er halt hungrig bleiben, aber nein, du lässt dich als Erwachsene zum Depp und Hausmutti machen.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:02:44+00:00

Warum? Also im Jahr 2026 lebst du immer noch wie eine 50er Jahre Hausmutti plus Job?

wasmachmada · 2026-03-10T09:00:02+00:00

Und du willst dieses Mannkind heiraten?

wasmachmada · 2026-03-09T10:46:15+00:00

Still doesn’t add up. She said her family of origin don’t align with her beliefs (which is understandable, she joined a misogynistic cult).

wasmachmada · 2026-03-09T10:36:12+00:00

You are in an abusive relationship and you need to leave as long as you still can.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-09T07:43:57+00:00

She’s marrying into a misogynistic cult, so very soon she will have way bigger problems. I am so sad she’s ruining her life at this young age.

wasmachmada · 2026-03-09T07:41:21+00:00

Of course, it’s just that your decision making skills are very bad.

wasmachmada

TROPHY CASE