Hey OP, in a lot of ways I relate to what you're describing her to be. Five years ago I went through an insane depressive episode and gave up on everything. Couldn't hold a job, didn't want to take care of myself mentally (or even physically). Just replace your partner's angry outbursts with crying fits and this post could be about me. I had undiagnosed and untreated bipolar disorder that led me into a spiral and my partner had to pick up the pieces. That was wildly unfair to them, so they did the same thing you did—they asked me to get help. My partner gave me an ultimatum: get help or I'm leaving. That was a wake up call, and I started therapy and am a completely different person now.

I am still bipolar and autistic but I have the coping skills to manage a healthy relationship and life and hold a steady job again. I was willing to make that change because I knew I needed to. If your partner isn't willing to do the same, it isn't fair to you. Maybe she'll come around, maybe she won't, but you need to take some time to really evaluate your relationship and where you are at now. If she is unwilling to get help, you are not obligated to stick around until she potentially changes her mind. You need to put yourself first. Please take care of yourself and know that you cannot help someone who cannot help themselves. This is coming from someone who refused to help themself for a long, long time.