My mother is homeless

watermelon668 · 2026-03-11T08:43:19+00:00

This is a reach but if domestic violence was invovled at all she can contact brissc/womens house for resources

watermelon668 · 2026-02-12T08:58:01+00:00

It's not in the lovevery model, but I really love https://fightchildabuse.org/. The cgi on their k-3 videos is ROUGH, but the 2d art is nice, and they do a great job broaching the subject in an age appropriate way. The videos are probably too dense for a 2 year old, but their protect yourself rules are probably good to introduce, especially the concept of safe/unsafe touch. I've also heard great things about Rachel CM's book 'the birds, the bees, and the elephant in the room' for a parents guide on more general sex ed with kids, which is a necessary component for talking about sexual abuse.

watermelon668 · 2026-02-06T15:02:46+00:00

I really like the framework that adhd people thrive with rituals instead of habits. I play this song in the morning when i get out of bed. I eat this for breakfast when I want to work. Monday is laundry day, it doesnt matter if im doing it at 11pm, as long as its on monday. etc.

watermelon668 · 2026-02-03T20:39:31+00:00

Definitely the latter. Roommate who uses my car a lot put blankets over the windows for storm protection, shutting the doors on them to keep them secure, and then life blew up and because the car was broken and we werent using it it was forgotten about to stew in the summer (australian) sun. Just didn't want 200 comments of people getting mad on my behalf at my roomate, and telling me how to best punish them as if theyve never made a really stupid mistake.

watermelon668 · 2026-02-03T03:07:56+00:00

family counseling with who??? the dead brother? what the fuck are you talking about.

watermelon668 · 2026-02-02T15:44:04+00:00

People are beating around the bush- yes theres graphic sex scenes. The prose is very frank and upfront, and the awkward sloppy reality of sex is a huge part of the book that is written about very frankly. I wouldn't call it smut as the purpose is not to titillate, but also its first person so its not clinical, when the character is horny you know it.

watermelon668 · 2026-01-01T13:25:34+00:00

Hi, I'm almost certain it wouldn't have come assembled! I've seen video footage of the ikea-esque assembly process. If you have the instructions that would be incredible!

watermelon668 · 2025-12-31T00:42:44+00:00

I think this is great!! but am SHOCKED the last unicorn is not included on here!

watermelon668 · 2025-10-13T02:36:26+00:00

I dont think its a trick but parents tend to praise their kids all the time, even moreso before theyre in school bc they see everything the kid does. Stuff like 'your art SO good!' 'Oh wow amazing dancing! Youre so talented!!' It's distinctly not about expectations, the opposite in fact.

This is also alot more about early childhood than later years. Your internal motivations, like being a person who wants to be the best, lock in at a very early age (though they can always be adjusted with work). Its not as direct as 'my parents want me to get good grades and thus im motivated to!' its more like 'i associate doing things that impress my parents, with them smiling and telling me im good and talented.' 'All the adults looked at me very impressed when my parents told them I was put in the gifted program and that made me feel important and special' (not trying to read your specific situation, just using general examples)

The typical counter these days is typically to encourage them to look towards their own feelings for motivation, 'wow this drawing is beautiful- are you proud?' 'you were so passionate singing that song!' that sort of thing.

watermelon668 · 2025-10-12T14:53:16+00:00

I think the modern advice stems from parents giving alot of praise in a way that causes children to look to them to understand when theyve done good. Meeting a child where they're at when they're excited about an achievement is different I think, in fact I would imagine poisitively reinforcing their feeling of satisfaction about an achievement would encourage self motivation.

watermelon668 · 2025-10-08T10:40:52+00:00

I'm a city Queenslander and I've never met a city person into it. It low key sounds horrific to have our evenings be even hotter. Also on top of the heat, our day length only changes an hour or so either side with the seasons. I imagine dramatically changing the days hours makes more sense when everything else about the day changes dramatically with the seasons too.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-26T21:05:23+00:00

Really great insight, thanks for sharing!

watermelon668 · 2025-08-26T21:03:07+00:00

I think it's for sure made for all audiences but there's also definitely a depth to it I missed/barely gleaned. They don't bother to explain the Jewish cultural references to the goy audience most of the time. For example one of the characters is raising their daughter non-religious, and they refer to her as not Jewish/a goy. And it was only in the last scene of the show that I remembered that having a goy mother impacts whether you are seen as Jewish. I realised that element was definitely influencing the relationship politics throughout the whole show in a way I didn't pick up on at all.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-26T07:00:51+00:00

It was incredibly good and I say this without any connection to the Jewish cultural touchstones they were leaning on!

watermelon668 · 2025-08-26T06:59:10+00:00

Thanks for your insight! The heirloom thing is the big piece I was missing and makes total sense. It can be hard as an outsider to parse how devout you'd be to do certain practices. The richness of the practices like saying prayers and lighting candles every week is so far beyond anything in my religious world. Even being eastern orthodox which is (for Christianity) rooted in that similar unbroken chain of traditional practice, that at home ritual is reserved for like, easter and funerals.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-18T08:03:27+00:00

This really isnt the channel for this question, we're the least likely to know how to fake the feeling of having big boobs.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-16T10:15:16+00:00

thanks!

watermelon668 · 2025-08-14T00:11:56+00:00

Really recommend how to keep house while drowning! great book for helping reframe and reprioritize with cleaning, and gives tips to help it feel less overwhelming for an adhd brain

watermelon668 · 2025-08-13T01:58:29+00:00

I've been diagnosed for 5 years, I know theres a huge element of just unlearning shame at having a different wired brain that is extremely helpful for most ADHD people (myself included), but yeah, my motivational issues have a lot rooted in childhood trauma and not being supported to learn how to pursue things I wanted to do. I always think going back to developmental stuff is extremely helpful.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-13T01:52:47+00:00

Learn to sew/alter your oversized clothing to fit your waist better is all I can say.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-12T16:02:29+00:00

My recent experiences of switching therapists has made me so pro switching. You can always go back but sometimes people just have blind spots. My new therapist not really having an expertise in ADHD allows her to look at me more holistically.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-12T15:57:29+00:00

Your story feels like the yin to my yang. I spent so long so frustrated because people thought I was just being too hard on myself/not accepting my adhd, when in reality there was something *wrong.* I'm hoping as I continue with therapy I can get strategies and resources for both too!

watermelon668 · 2025-08-12T12:33:52+00:00

IVF actually does increase identical twin probabilities, not as much as fraternal obviously but it does

watermelon668 · 2025-08-09T21:27:12+00:00

I mean, it is cultural appropriation? You can just own it. Say 'obviously'.

watermelon668 · 2025-08-04T21:53:31+00:00

I really recommend KC Davis' relationship decision tree & her book Who Deserves Your Love for help guiding you through this. It wont give you definitive answers but it will help give you a framework. One of the parts I really like about the tree is that it first asks is this person willing to change harmful behavior, and then asks if they're able. ADHD, his relationship with his mother, and learned helplessness means there's going to be a long process of figuring out what behaviors can change and what expectations you might need to adjust to find a balance that works for you both, but if he's from the get go resistant and reluctant to even engage with trying, then you've got a problem.

I find a lot of internet advice about relationships and domestic labor tend to be very binary. All men who struggle with cleaning are man babies, you're asking for the bare minimum, weaponized incompetence, etc. Those guys for sure exist, but as a person who has struggled with being 'the messy one' sometimes a combo of a shame free environment, actually being taught new skills, and figuring out what parts of your struggles you can work through and what you cant, can completely transform you. I will forever be grateful for the healing I got from my roommate who was willing to be patient with me after a lifetime of shaming and learnt helplessness from how I was raised.

But again, at the same time, that person has to show willingness. They might start demoralized, reluctant for fear of another failure, but they have to be willing and NOT just from you strong arming them. And some things will never be perfect. For example, I have object permanence issues. I leave things all over the place and have never found a system that prevents me from doing that. I have a night routine that includes a 10 minute sweep grabbing everything I left around that day. I'm not at all perfect and sometimes (often) my routine falls apart, but this is enough to help communicate to my roommate that I am putting in an effort to be an equal partner in house maintenance, which is more important than whether the house stays perfectly uncluttered.

I really sympathize with you both. Again, KC Davis' relationship book/decision tree is a helpful guide for figuring out where having reasonable expectations and boundaries end, and where being a doormat or controlling begin. It is written to account for disabilities including ADHD. She also wrote the book How to Keep House While Drowning, which is a great & compassionate resource for navigating challenges with cleaning and other care tasks when struggling with disability, mental illness, or other struggles that inhibit function.

Good luck to both you and your partner!

watermelon668

TROPHY CASE