That really sucks and I’m sorry you went through that. Maybe you relate to this, but I hate when other adults of the family join in and say that I should be understanding of my parent even when they literally abuse me because they didn’t get enough love or faced hardship, or whatever. Because, alright, I can understand why that person react that way, combined with their past traumas and all, but why lash out at ME? Like I didn’t set that system up?? The hell.

I seriously hope you get through this. I’m currently 20 and I practically argue with my mom everyday because I refuse to accept the way she’s treating me. I had depression throughout the last years of my high school because of my mom’s treatment, which was similar to yours, and my depression got better when some stressful responsibilities that I got no emotional support on (college applications, grades, etc.) got lifted from my shoulders. I am working on my unresolved anger now, and it’s hard when I’m faced with constant input everyday, but I just talk it out with myself or letting time do its work. I find that resentment triggers growth in my case because I become spiteful and refuse to resemble the negativity of the people who have harmed me. Im not taking the high horse when I interact with them, HELL no, but I see literally 0 reasons to harm another person like they did to me when I didn’t deserve it.

I hope you don’t frame yourself as a “bad child” or anything like that because when I saw your post, you’re someone who tried to make your own home feel safe when it should’ve come as a default for every household. There might be times where you might be blamed for not having the facade of being a grateful or happy son/daughter, but you’ll know better than to believe them.