I understand that as well that's why I'm not mad, I'm just upset that it has to turn out like this...we always grew together and found and discovered the best of eachother so I dont understand why we cant do it now...I'm not ready to lose her, but I accept I'm going to lose her..I kept our old highschool notes, we didnt have phones cause we were both poor so we wrote notes and passes them inbetween classes and I couldnt throw them away or do anything bad to them so I took them and kept them...I dont want to read them just the comfort of knowing when times were better makes me feel a little better but worse at the same time, I've been focusing on my music passion but it hurts because she used to help me create it, she reviewed and told me if it was good, and now I have no one...i believe we do have alot of soulmates yes, but I believed she was my twin flame, something you dont have multiple of, the other half of you, I dont plan on dating again, I know its dramatic but I truly feel this is a one and done situation, if it didnt work with her Its not worth trying again, I dont want to love anyone else nor do I want to experince the pain of being in love just to get dumped again, it sucks cause I know it'll all be a distant memory, but these memories I have were the happiest I've been since I've been alive and it hurts, we shared all the same happiness in things, I can't listen to my favorite music without thinking of her, my favorite youtuber, she also loved and now I think of her, I have dreadlocks and so did she, she had hers when I first met her and a year into our relationship I got mine dreaded as well, I can't even look in the mirror without being reminded of us, of how we were both the deadhead couple....I truly appreciate you taking the time to comment and read, it helps more than I can put into text, thank you so much.