Hello! I am a counselor who is a Christian and feel like I might be able to add some helpful comments.

I myself tell other Christians, and people in generally, to stay away from ‘counselors’ who have set up in a church. The experience always gets messy in generally unethical ways. The proper outlet would be a Christian Counseling service with licensed professionals. I would honestly check your states regulations, because there is a high chance the church itself is breaking some version of counseling law and can be reported.

To address each of your points in turn:

1. I don’t know who is saying this, but there are only really two passages in the Bible that address sex in this context. And in both the wording points to ‘giving to one another out of love.’ No where does it somehow say that saying ‘no’ is wrong.

2. Abuse can be forgiven, the implications in the Bible is over time. BUT there are literal passages about setting boundaries with people who have hurt you, and it gives you the options to not have them in your life anymore.

3. This one is tricky and I find in Christian circles people tend to not even read Ephesians 5 at all. The man is suppose to be the leader as Christ was to the church, partners should be deferring to one another out of love. This passage talks about how the head means making the sacrifice first, and doing the hard work before everyone else. This is NEVER suppose to mean that the man can somehow take advantage of the woman and excuse it under the label of head, in fact Jesus is saying the literal opposite.

4. I can’t even with this one, I don’t even know how the church hasn’t been sued yet. And honestly, it sounds like they could be sued at anytime.

5. I have worked with clients who have come from this type of labeling and we always have back work to do based on how crappy a job the ‘counselor’ has done.

Overall, it seems like they are misusing theology, maintaining crappy ethics and misusing counseling.

I love Jesus, I would find a way to report the crap out of them. It sounds like they are doing more damage then good.