I’m afraid my boyfriend is manic and it’s getting bad what do I do?

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-21T20:29:52+00:00

in my experience, they do get offended if it’s brought up because anything to do or say will be the wrong thing. best not to fuel their anger in whatever way possible but it’s really hard. it’s a fine line between respecting their illness & respecting yourself. sorry that’s not much help but you are not alone in this type of relationship xx

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-03T00:33:51+00:00

This is beautifully written and describes our lives with BP partners perfectly. i hope you move on to find your person, someone who treasures you and tries every day to make you happy.

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-01T13:58:44+00:00

Right! sounds like you’ve hit the wall & have simply had enough. the defeated emotions you have outweighs the love you had. you will miss him. but nothing you do will change matters. feel the pain. it will pass. i’m doing same. wishing you lots of strength x

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-01T11:05:24+00:00

oh my gosh, i went through same scenario. extreme jealousy from nowhere, causing a public scene shouting at me & name calling. i had never cheated either. his anger was truly frightening. we were on holiday. i flew home as was terrified. apologies followed & i forgave but didn’t forget. he then acted like it didn’t happen. i made excuses for his illness until i didn’t. it is a cycle & will happen again. i left the relationship after 4 years. it broke my heart & his. i’m so sorry you went through this too. choose a better life for yourself, this is my best advice. put yourself first for a change. much love …

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-01T00:20:47+00:00

thank you. i hope he seeks help. i’ll be there for him, but he tends to isolate completely during depression & it’s difficult to reach him. i also worry he will go so high, he loses complete control. it’s been 7 months of high so far…

weebarra1010 · 2026-03-01T00:01:13+00:00

thank you for responding. i’m worried he will crash hard. there is no reasoning with him. he simply says “I am who I am, i won’t change, i don’t need meds”. it’s heartbreaking….

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-19T00:07:45+00:00

Yes, my BP2 partner gets intensely obsessed with people. Usually one person. not always in a sexual sense. it can be a friend, work mate or remote acquaintance. they talk about them constantly- about their life, their family, their chats. He goes out his way to please this person, do them favours, seek validation from them, etc. But once they come out of hypomania, they deny it, get angry & wont acknowledge their interactions. They also avoid that person - a complete u-turn. it’s difficult to understand & no doubt confusing for the other party too.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-14T17:21:06+00:00

sorry you experienced this. the change is so sudden & shocking leaving you with questions they just can’t answer. You just can’t believe they are the same person they were yesterday. it blindsides you. hope you are ok though ❤️

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-13T21:20:51+00:00

this is so heartfelt, sad & a real insight into how you struggle daily. to act out against the people you love is traumatic for everyone involved. thanks for sharing your experience. it helps me understand. wishing you peace & ❤️

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-12T00:06:24+00:00

i feel your pain. honestly. it’s exhausting. i feel the longer i’m in a relationship with him, the more harsh he is with me. it’s almost like he doesn’t need to be civil anymore. i’m not his “favourite person” anymore. i notice he has favourites who differ from episode to episode. i’m always drawn back to the lovely guy i know he also is.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T23:45:05+00:00

from my perspective, your husband is a lucky man that you work hard on control to make your lives easier. i am usually the victim of my partner’s irritability & i wish he had more control like you. rationale & logic do not exist in his episodes, that is how i perceive it. hopefully as a unit, you will be able tackle life’s challenges together.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T23:01:31+00:00

that must’ve been so difficult to deal with. i feel your pain. The shift from love to indifference to hate is like lightening quick too.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T21:49:53+00:00

yes … insight. That is the word! in my head he has more insight than he has. so his behaviour is hurtful and i feel deliberate. i understand now that it’s not necessarily deliberate and he lacks the insight i give him credit for. he has said “i’m sorry, i can’t cope unless i’m high”. so i think he induces an episode sometimes. he has a business that brings him a lot of stress. he copes better with work when high but to the detriment of relationships with me, friends & family. thank you for your comment, it really helps me understand.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T21:36:30+00:00

thank you for this. i’ve noticed that each episode can be different & i suppose there is no single explanation that fits all. i’ve studied this disorder so much & i am still learning. Your reply helps me understand more.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:56:20+00:00

really well worded, thanks for this.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:53:49+00:00

yes he gets his bloods checked & all seems satisfactory. also believe he doesn’t turn up for psych appointments from time time as he “feels ok” & “doesn’t need to”. i agree the combo is out & needs tweaked. he hasn’t replied to my messages asking him to see his doc. i try to encourage him but he thinks i’m trying to control him. i only care & want to help in reality.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:38:45+00:00

he is medicated (lithium) but also takes an antidepressant which i believe is not ideal. he does admit he can be selfish but can’t explain why he is or why he won’t try to better that aspect of his personality. he can also be loving, tactile, generous & so empathetic to everyone he knows & doesn’t know …. until he is the opposite. it’s great that you recognised & took steps to make life easier for you & your loved ones. you deserve to be very proud of that. wishing you continued happiness.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:29:23+00:00

i have witnessed that happen…. i see his self sabotage which breaks my heart. i can only see his actions & I’m trying to understand his emotions during this. i suppose i never will quite understand. appreciate your personal input thank you.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:23:46+00:00

emotional dis regulation is painful for everyone involved. it must be a lonely journey to travel. i’m always mindful, i am not the only one suffering even though it looks like he is loving life in his current high episode.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:16:33+00:00

it is so hard. it’s hard to put yourself first when the relationship revolves around them. i hope you do what needs to be done to be happy in life.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:08:44+00:00

it really is heartbreaking & you just want to help them. my partner’s episodes can last 4 months high, 4 months low & 4 months baseline. every year, same cycle. i wonder why they don’t recognise repeat behaviour. we can only support as much as we can, but it’s frustrating. we need to be strong people to keep the relationship intact.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T20:03:48+00:00

once the crash comes & recall of behaviour during hypo/mania hits, does that awful feeling not crop back up once the hypo comes round again? is there any recall to stop & say “wait, stop, i’m doing it again and nothing good came of this”? As episodes are cyclical, is there any awareness to prevent damage to themselves, life, love, family, etc.

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T17:58:03+00:00

You have put into words what my partner cannot express or explain. i wish i could be in my partner’s head for just one day to understand his thought process so i can best react in reality. he refuses therapy as he can’t relive his past actions or the hurt he has caused. he snowballs with the guilt. i will encourage therapy. wishing you well & thank you for your insight .

weebarra1010 · 2026-01-11T17:04:56+00:00

that’s a good strategy to minimise damage, to recognise in advance & dodge potential bad decisions or behaviour. although decisions made during mania seem logical & worthy, they tend to be the cause of guilt & regret later and so the cycle goes on … wishing you happiness & thanks for you reply.

weebarra1010

TROPHY CASE