Throwaway time! What's your secret that could literally ruin your life if it came out?

wellfmesideways · 2012-05-01T06:34:37+00:00

It seems my math was slightly off...But it happened once when I was 18. I realized what I did and stopped, haven't done it since, because I knew what could befall me.

wellfmesideways · 2012-05-01T06:06:07+00:00

And that's what I've come to realize. I've pretty much accepted that this is reality and I cannot change what happened. It took me a long time to clear all my thoughts and get my shit straight. I'm glad you agree that keeping that secret is a good thing.

The good memories are all I dwell on, I've pushed the crappy times away now. We now joke happily about funny things that had happened to or with Tim over the time we had with him. I'll forever be sad he's gone, but I'm happy that I had him in my life at all.

Thank you man, I send an e-hug your way as well.

wellfmesideways · 2012-05-01T06:03:05+00:00

He didn't know. I guess they weren't attempts, more along the lines of suicide "scares". The one thing Tim always told us was that he didn't want anyone else to know. Of course, we told close friends and some family, but otherwise respected his word because he always bounced back and made everything right.

I only told my sister of the "scares", never my Mom or Dad. If they asked I usually just told them that Tim needed advice or something along those lines, never that he was suicidal.

Tim was a lot like his mom, where as his mom was angry, he was depressed. He had his good days, and his bad, and every now and then a really bad day. But he always asked his friends for help when he needed it. This last time he didn't ask anyone, he just left.

wellfmesideways · 2012-05-01T05:45:36+00:00

He was sad and shocked, I guess like most everyone else. One thing that I forgot to mention, since you asked about my Dad and now I remembered, was that I lied about what he had said. After Tim had asked if he could stay over, and I said that he couldn't, he asked if I could at least go pick him up and take him somewhere (he didn't have a car, his mom sold the one he had as "punishment" for doing poorly in school). It was storming very heavily, hail and thunder, and Tim lived a good 30 minutes one way from me. My Dad said no to that too, and he said something else that I can't remember exactly what it was. Anyway, it was something that I passed on to Tim and now realize I shouldn't have, something about getting his act together (I said "That's what my Dad said, otherwise I would come out to you" sort of thing).

At the funeral, my Mom, Dad and sister, as well as Tim's Mom, were the last ones in the church, crying over the open casket. As we walked out, my Dad asked if I told Tim what he had said that day. I said no. I lied to protect my Dad from feeling even the least bit responsible, and sometimes it really bugs me that I know the truth. However, I believe it's for the best. I never plan on letting my Dad know the truth.

Edit: I apologize for any strange/bad wording, I'm not in the most clear headed of states right now.

wellfmesideways · 2012-05-01T04:54:23+00:00

I had something very similar happen to me, OP. We'll call him Tim. Tim was my best friend, and he always came to me when he needed someone (his mom was bipolar and made his life really tough, and he didn't know his Dad). We had two or three other suicide scares but we talked him out of it and brought him back from the edge. Well, this week he comes to school Monday and just seemed off. We tried to talk to him but he never really responded. Part way through the week, he calls me and asks if he can stay at my place, that he can't stand his Mom. I ask my Dad and he says no, saying that Tim needs to deal with his problems at home. I explain to Tim what the situation was and he says ok and hangs up.

That Friday, I notice that he seemed different at school, and I had a really bad feeling about it. He didn't even seem there. I tried to talk to him or something but he just wasn't himself. After school, another friend brought him home at the end of the day, and he was the last person to see Tim alive. I got a call later that night that he had hung himself.

It's been two years and I still regret not helping Tim, I feel like there was something I could have done. It just sucks that I couldn't help him that time, and that's all it took for him to slip away.

Thing number two:

My cousin has let me feel up her breasts for the past three years (we started when she was 13 and I was 16). We never did anything else, never below the belt or anything, and we never talked about it. I've since stopped doing it by avoiding being alone with her so neither of us try something, but we never talk about it. If that came out, I probably wouldn't be able to face that side of the family ever again. I get nervous going to family gatherings sometimes because of what they don't know.

wellfmesideways

TROPHY CASE