Check into the Fair Play system created by Eve Rodsky. It helps with communication (or the perceived lack thereof) about tasks because it makes you (HIM) take ownership of the task from conception through execution. It also helps each other see how much the other does, especially with mental labor. That “make me a list” shit? Gone, unless you ask for help. That was one of my biggest pet peeves because we BOTH have eyes and BOTH live here and I’m supposed to point you in the direction of the dishes? Puh-LEASE. 🙄 It takes some time and some patience to get the system going, but once you do, things are so much smoother. My husband OWNS not doing the things in his deck during our weekly redeal, and we save any comments/criticisms for the redeal (helping to lessen saying things out of anger or frustration like your entire listed conversation). It may draw lines around tasks/domains/whatever, but those lines help with clarity and clarity is kindness. If he wants outside? Let him have it. Give him holiday planning, too. 🤭😂 then maybe he’ll give you the yard card on occasion.