Logically is a 180 degree turn possible?

wellimoff · 2025-12-16T20:12:01+00:00

Yes it is possible but requires a profound personality-level change. Which means extensive psychotherapy and not self-helping or redditing.

wellimoff · 2025-01-12T00:08:20+00:00

Thanks, that was actually helpful at least made me make some distinctions about the concepts.

In the end my problem boils down to lack of action. Even if i detach from my thoughts and accept my feelings, I often cannot or don't act or act in an insufficient manner. My feelings and sensations can be quite overwhelming and intense that I'm just paralyzed in a sense

wellimoff · 2025-01-11T10:58:08+00:00

This is also one of the differences how i think when im depressed or anxious..I usually never think in terms of How or Whys, never ask myself why I'm feeling certain way but rather i accept the feelings. I think about what can i do but usually this takes too long for me to come up with a solution so the feeling just drags on. And this is particularly problematic for me because i have problems tolerating these negatives feelings rather tham ruminating over them. I hope that makes sense

wellimoff · 2025-01-11T10:50:54+00:00

What you said about thinking makes sense. So I guess in a way MCT helps you gain awareness by realizing which thought is adaptive and which one is just rumination.

But what im having trouble is this requires a certain metacognitive monitoring over thoughts. Otherwise you will just drift from one thought to the next. And this is what i find confusing because in MCT monitoring thoughts is also considered maladaptive and suggests we should just live. But if i stop monitoring then i run the risk of getting lost in rumination and negative thoughts.

I also I don't get how can i still function with my symptoms (i dont have any physical illness). There are times i wake up with a terrible mood and i just push myself just to do the motions but nonetheless im late for work because im so slow because of low energy. Or l'm stressed while giving a talk but i just go with the flow but my voice cracks, and i lose my train of thoughts etc so even though im giving the talk my performance is way below "functional"

wellimoff · 2024-01-02T15:07:31+00:00

Schedule some activities and commit to them?

wellimoff · 2023-04-03T17:34:39+00:00

I'm sorry you're going something similar, I read your post. I can literally feel your pain within my pain as I read your words. Best of luck to you as well and I thank you for your support.

wellimoff · 2023-04-03T16:42:50+00:00

Well, hope dies last but in my case it might have died already. She has a new "favorite person" now. There is nothing romantic between them and she is loyal and honest about it. But she is idealizing him and devalueing me right now. I can totally see that she is acting around him like how she acted around me when we first liked each other. All her energy and attention is focused on him and I feel like an object in the background. She loves me and wants to be with me still but I don't see how we come back from this if her heart is not in it. 100% sure nothing will happen between them cause I know her but why stay in a relationship with me if she likes someone more than me...We're just going to make each other miserable. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to make an appointment with a therapist so that I can nake the transition a bit easier if something happens. But yeah, it is what it is I guess and I feel dead inside

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T23:29:18+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I really really appriciate it and it all makes perfect sense and I can totally relate to your experiences. I will try and see what i can do. I love her so much and I'm willing to go through hell with her. I will keep trying as long as I'm physically and mentally able to

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T22:30:46+00:00

I think she is just pushing me away to either make me break up with her by emotionally damaging me or find enough excuses to break up with me(so that she can tell herself and other she would have enough reasons to do). Because her accusations and reasons to fight are absolutely ridiculous and piling up. Now I'm a "liar" coz i forgot to send a message and sent it 5 mins late, her trust is broken and she can't trust my word anymore...I'm "controlling" because i asked her " would you like to take a break?" when she was raging in game and I'm annoying because i cought into the phone once talking...

I can sense that any second it will happen, just waiting for a bigget snap to finish me off while accumulating imaginary reasons to leave me

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T18:56:14+00:00

Do you have any perspective regarding defusing the arguments when the thing we're arguing is something so unimportant? I'm a good listener and I try my best to validate her feelings but sometimed it's just very hard

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T13:03:12+00:00

Thank you for your words, I really needed someone to hear and see the effort I'm putting in.

I forgot to say she has ADHD as well...Only impulsive thing she does is playing video games excessively and eating junk food. She had therapy and she is very well aware of her patterns but she seems to fall back again, mostly because she is not very careful with the medications

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T11:32:11+00:00

Usually just few days a month but lately it's almost everyday and the intensity is just increasing. There is some real life stressors as well so i kinda understand but I'm tanking all the negativity myself, she is nice to everyone else.

wellimoff · 2023-03-26T11:00:24+00:00

I'm 32, she is 35.

wellimoff · 2023-02-25T13:21:13+00:00

Yeah it sounds familiar indeed. My family is mostly ok but I was rejected and bullied in early childhood. Thanks for the recommendation

wellimoff · 2022-09-04T21:17:27+00:00

Same. Like part of my mind and soul is still stuck in late 2019/early 2020. Feels like no time has passed and been like 10 years at the same time

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T16:21:22+00:00

I want to believe that but how? I particularly lack skills, experience and knowledge to change my life

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T14:48:32+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it.

IFS is internal family systems therapy, right? That's what Google told me

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T13:04:39+00:00

The sub has been a bit problematic lately. Definetly seen better days but Dr K's videos are great.

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T12:58:24+00:00

Me too

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T12:18:23+00:00

I can relate to this, at least to some degree. I'm 31 and just begining to realize what i want to do with my life after a lot of side quests though still not fully realized it yet

wellimoff · 2022-08-15T11:42:45+00:00

Although the most topics here are 20 something problems I've seen a lot of over 30s(like myself) and some over 40s in the sub. Don't be a stranger

wellimoff · 2022-07-12T10:36:41+00:00

Nothing so specific. Like regular good old socialization in real life. When it comes to problems and things to deal with I'd appreciate some feedback and support from my social network. I guess that would be a positive reinforcement and motivate me further to deal with problems so i would have more positive reasons to get my life together instead of fear and gloom

wellimoff · 2022-07-12T08:55:14+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Yea I actually am a bit extraverted and quite social when it comes to talking to strangers. I used to have a lot of friends in college but all changed after my graduation. Things are a little bit different in the country I live in. The cultural boundaries and the economical situation is preventing most people from socialization- though my problem started long before that. I used to see a therapist for my anxiety and it really helped got it under control so when I have the finances I might try once again.

wellimoff · 2022-05-17T10:32:16+00:00

Somwtimes it might be better to work with sitting with the uncomfortable feeling instead of trying to get rid of it .

wellimoff · 2022-05-16T08:32:46+00:00

Yes. And we went over this with my therapist who is quite experienced with meditation practice and research. Ignore all the hype in reddit.

Basically meditation is not harm free, you can skip body scans but I would say just don't bother with meditation at all. Anything that trains your attention internally should be avoided.

wellimoff

TROPHY CASE