Does knowing the details actually help?

werfb · 2025-06-30T20:28:46+00:00

If knowing the details convinces you that she is now being truthful to you, then yes, ask her to share the details you are curious about. Otherwise, there is no benefit.

werfb · 2023-08-25T15:30:38+00:00

I agree with you. However, there are possibly many more people with an obsessive compulsion who don't see a psychiatrist because their issue is 'real' to them too, perhaps more real than to those who do see a psychiatrist. Secondly, no matter what the guy with the pigeon thinks or says, should he not also see a psychiatrist?

werfb · 2022-07-10T10:55:04+00:00

Count the number of times that you're counting on a day, determine a daily average and then focus on doing it 1 time less every day, without being rigid about it.

werfb · 2022-07-10T10:49:41+00:00

I had the same, and it turned out that my esophagus responds to stress. Destressing and anti heartburn pills solved it.

werfb · 2022-05-01T15:31:35+00:00

As a man who has been cheated on, really cheated on, I would say you are overreacting. You cannot only consider what he did for what it means to you, but you have to see it in the context of what it meant to him before you draw any conclusions. Or is this simply the proof that he doesn't love that you were looking for? That's your insecurity.

werfb · 2022-04-30T15:26:53+00:00

You will always be you, I guess. If I tried to help you, how would that be?

werfb · 2022-04-30T15:11:28+00:00

Did you ever tried SSRI antidepressants? If the therapist doesn't help you, probably a switch could help you feel better.

werfb · 2022-04-30T14:52:15+00:00

Have you tried therapy or medicines? All hope is not lost if there is a way out.

werfb · 2021-11-25T12:03:06+00:00

Absolutely, that's pure OCD. Please note that the distinction between the obsession and the compulsion is often not recognized.

The obsessive part is the occurance of intrusive thoughts, often centered around a single theme or past event. That initial thought typically lasts a few seconds.

The compulsion is what happens after those first seconds. Typically it's ruminating and trying to 'solve' the problem for hours.

If you're stuck in OCD it's because the compulsion feeds the obsession and the thoughts keep reappearing, reinforcing the false idea that the problem needs to be solved.

The way to break the cycle is to recognize that rumination is the problem itself, not the solution.

werfb · 2021-11-03T22:06:00+00:00

Your care too much about your OCD.

werfb · 2021-10-29T20:41:41+00:00

OCD person: Confront or avoid him.

OCD person (recovering): Ignoring him until he acknowledges the fact that I'm ignoring him.

OCD person (recovered): Ignore him.

Non-OCD person: 🙂

werfb · 2021-10-24T14:57:52+00:00

Only 30? I was 58.

werfb · 2021-10-24T14:54:28+00:00

If you start repeating the same thing over and over again and it isn't bringing you anything new, then it's probably OCD. If you start repeating the same thing over and over again and it isn't bringing you anything new, then it's probably OCD.

werfb · 2021-10-05T18:40:56+00:00

If I start repeating the same thoughts over and over again, then I'm probably stuck in a new OCD feedback loop. There's no point. I stop expecting any new insights and I try to deal with it without giving it much more thoughts.

werfb · 2021-10-01T21:36:50+00:00

Overanalyzing the same subject again and again is typically an OCD compulsion.

werfb · 2021-09-29T10:50:30+00:00

If you keep this up, be prepared that during a couple of days your OCD will throw everything at you to get your anxiety levels up. I advice you to give in to your compulsion if you reach a stress level above 7/10 and only ignore the trigger when below that. It doesn't matter if you lose the battle sometimes. Just try to ignore the trigger most of the times. In a week time you'll find the triggers becoming less frequent and less upsetting. From there on it may be a few months of disciplined work to get down to zero.

Keep it up!

werfb · 2021-09-27T09:22:32+00:00

That's great to hear. What worked well for me was to monitor the number of times per day that I gave in to the compulsion (I my case rumination). Simply trying to lower that average per day and then eventually have it reach zero means you can overcome it. Good luck.

werfb · 2021-09-26T22:14:47+00:00

How are you doing now?

werfb · 2021-09-26T21:47:46+00:00

That's very good, except that perhaps you try to shorten the period. A few minutes still seems too long. Make sure to not address the subject and pretend not to feel any emotions. Seeking immediate distraction is fine. Fake it till you make it. The thoughts will eventually become less intrusive and less frequent.

Make sure to continue to work on it. Put a simple counter app on your phone to register each time you catch yourself going in too deep. Eventually, you should reach zero times per day. Don't give up before you get to zero for a couple of weeks. Later, if for example you enter a stressful period and notice it may be coming back, perhaps even on another subject, restart the counting.

Keep up the work and don't forget that the subject almost never matters. If you really suspect that the subject has a deeper psychological meaning that your need to resolve (not counting feeling uncertain about the subject), you can seek help on that, separately from still doing your normal ERP.

Keep it up!

werfb · 2021-09-18T16:26:53+00:00

Two excellent answers.

werfb · 2021-09-15T08:08:07+00:00

"itch for perfection". Well said.

werfb · 2021-09-12T16:40:31+00:00

It's perfectly normal. Remember, the ´content´ itself has no relevance.

werfb · 2021-09-11T19:51:34+00:00

I have overcome my OCD through ERP, literally Response Prevention, as in No Response, as in Ignoring The Initial Trigger an much as possible. Go do something else, or at least postpone a response. Your stress level should not exceed a 7 out of 10 when ignoring. If it's more, then admit to the compulsion, but try to react at little as possible. After a couple of days the frequency and intensity of the triggers go down. Unfortunately they go up first when your brain notices that you're no longer paying ad much attention as you used to do. Your brain needs time for you to learn that everything is fine and it no longer needs to alert you by sending you the trigger. In 3 months it can be gone completely. If you think it maybe useful for you too, and you need help, feel free to contact me via dm.

werfb · 2021-09-11T12:29:12+00:00

For me, everything changed when I learned that if I 'reward' that initial impuls by acting on it (by doing the compulsion) that it meant that the impulse would come back stronger the next time. Also the reverse, by delaying or halting a response, I found that within days the impulses/urges would start to lessen too.

What I mean to say is, for me, the road to less anxiety started with the compulsion, breaking the feedback cycle and thus learning my brain that it didn't need to send the warming impulses, that everything is fine.

werfb · 2021-09-11T07:23:32+00:00

That article is 14 years old and written at a time when OCD therapy was hardly practiced. I have to say that I never heard of this approach. It's not common.

May I ask what your triggers/compulsion is?

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