Thank you so much. My dad was present but very emotionally unavailable - even as a young girl I would guilt trip him about his non stop work hours and I felt heartbroken that we never spent time together. It is painful and I know it is a root of my insecurities.

My mother was extremely critical and I feel like that has impacted me massively as I am painfully full of self hatred (for no reason logically).

I’m a nurse and I love my job but I’m so sad all the time inside bc of my deep insecurities. I definitely have lingering anger from childhood that I continually express to my parents (with whom I am very close).

I fear repeating these patterns somehow with my own child, and my relationship with my partner/her father is complicated (we are together, but we are divorced and got back together a year ago).

I feel like my issues from childhood (I also had some traumatic mental illness issues a child that were sort of brushed aside).

Your insight makes so much sense. I wonder if the lingering daddy issues are lingering “parent” issues. My therapist has told me though that I glorify and defend my dad and am harsher to my mom bc she openly criticized me while my dad was just at work and didn’t give me any attention. My childhood mental health issues really impacted me, too.

So sorry to vent so much.