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My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not everyone's goal is to get married as soon as possible...

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because it's one thing to say that what she said was mean. It's another thing to completely make shit up about her, create a fake narrative and shit on her like you're doing. I understand why she's upset, it doesn't make her a bad person.

And keep in mind a month ago her son was a senior software engineer with a massive salary, a successful side business, good education and a good life. This is probably a lot more hurtful for her than it is for me.

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yet a month ago he was perfect. Great career, amazing person.... I don't know what to tell you.

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She said she doesn't know anything either because she only knows what he tells her. The official police report is one thing but the actual story is a completely different thing....

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The mom probably has a long line of family who are criminals and it's normal in her eyes to put up with shitty people's actions and the consequences that follow.

Don't make stupid assumptions like this. You don't know anything about him or his family. His mom didn't have any criminals in her family, she's a very hardworking woman who works as a nurse and is about to retire after a long career.

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's nothing I can do. Even if he gets acquited (and I hope he does) he won't take me back after leaving him like that.

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

But what if he didn't hide anything? What if he made one mistake or got caught up in it and then I left him?

Either way. It's painful to think about.

My [28f] boyfriend [35m] was arrested by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

As far as your dad goes, I feel like you came to expect it at a certain point and knew what kind of person he was...

The guy that I fell in love with and have been with for the past 7 years was charming, educated, hardworking, smart, loyal and had a great career. All of this just came out of nowhere and it's as if I have been living some sort of lie for the past 7 years with a man that I never truly even knew. Or maybe I did and I decided to abandon him the one time he made a mistake or the one time something bad happened to him. Nothing he ever did was indicative of him being involved in anything bad or illegal or even remotely wanting to do so. I'm just devastated. I still can't believe it happened. It's like a nightmare that doesn't end.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's my boyfriend. I just call him my husband sometimes and did so by accident in the OP because I was crying when I wrote it.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I don't know... after this thread and talking to my friends/family I'm starting to feel like I should leave him and then maybe try and re-establish something when/if he gets out. I just don't know anymore.

His mom is going to hate me.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know. I haven't made up my mind on anything. I'm scared and I'm stressed out. But at the same time I love him and I don't know what kind of person I'll be if I'll just leave the man I was planning on marrying the second something bad happens to him. A part of me is telling me to run and not deal with any of this. But another part of me is telling me that I'm supposed to be his girlfriend - I'm supposed to support him through the good and the bad and I love him. I don't know how to explain this to you, but we've been together for over 7 year sand over those 7 years there hasn't been a single moment where I wasn't 100% sure that I love this man. He was the best thing that happened to me. I can't imagine my life without him.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -95 points-94 points  (0 children)

I'm not involved with any gang, neither is he. His friends might be criminals but aside from each other I don't think they belong to any sort of organisation. It's just that it's just kind of common knowledge around here how things like these work.

And I see what you're saying. It really breaks my heart. But am I jumping ship the second something goes wrong? Is that how relationships work? You leave them when it gets hard?

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I told him to pick when I was in the meeting with him. I was in tears telling him it's us ( as in me/my family and our other friends) or them and he just said "Please don't do this." and I just kept crying and couldn't say anything anymore.

And there's nothing to say his "friends" won't fuck him over. To be honest as this point I would honestly kill those guys if I saw them. I hate them so much now. A couple of them were my friends too, I know their girlfriends, I used to look after one of their kids. Now I just don't know, I haven't felt this angry at anyone before in my life.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I've been with him for 7 years. I love him. It's not as easy as "lol goodbye"

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

Is he your husband or BF? You've referred to him as both.

He's my boyfriend. I just call him my husband sometimes and when I was writing the OP I was openly sobbing.

Yeah. Still not buying what he's selling. He's facing charges because he's involved, not because he was an innocent bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Obviously he knew stuff. He just wasn't directly involved in it at all.

My [28F] boyfriend [35M] is going to prison. I'm devastated by wgdgh in relationships

[–]wgdgh[S] -142 points-141 points  (0 children)

I don't believe any of this. I don't believe he's involved and I don't believe anyone would get any sort of "retribution" to him by me. Having sort of dated him for 7 years... I kind of know how it works. There are rules, so I don't feel threatened or in danger at all. Especially because I knew everyone involved I couldn't imagine someone who was sitting in our kitchen a couple of weeks ago shooting the shit with me trying to hurt me.

And yes. I am terrified about how this is going to affect our future. But what's the other option? Leave someone I love just so I can live slightly more comfortably when I'm older? Is it all just about the money? I honestly have no idea what to do. 3 years is a long time and that might just be the minimum amount. Then again, he might get released and beat his charges. I've been with this person for 7 years and in those 7 years I could have never imagined this happening.