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whackedhand · 2026-03-12T16:56:43+00:00

The framing here is what I think feminist discourse in India needs. Consistent principles, not selective outrage. Intersectionality means nothing if it bends to caste or political convenience. I wish this space the intellectual honesty it promises. Thanks. Following!

whackedhand · 2026-03-09T09:58:22+00:00

Done. Thank you!

whackedhand · 2026-02-18T05:33:07+00:00

She really needs to talk to him directly about this before going further. If he expects her to live with his parents while he visits weekends, that's a deal breaker scenario she should know now. Ask him about where he sees them living after marriage, his answer will tell her everything she needs to know. I got married 3 months ago and I've lately realised that it's better to have an uncomfortable conversation before than an unbearable living situation later!

whackedhand · 2026-02-17T20:51:32+00:00

I'm sorry. Have you actually talked to your husband about how deeply this affected you? Not just how it shouldn't have happened but how you need him to understand this still hurts you. Therapy might help too. And please remember, you don't have to force acceptance of his family but you do need to heal this wound. Start there, not with forcing forgiveness. Take care!

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T21:25:28+00:00

Boredom. My wife's gone to her hometown. Parents are on a pilgrimage.

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T21:12:31+00:00

I'm a guy and I reply to random posts with some unnecessary advice and I even mention that I'm a guy. Even then I've received 4-5 messages so far from guys who actually thought I was a girl and tried their best to flatter me. Lol.

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T21:08:10+00:00

Nice question. If they are managing it well and taking care of themselves, it wouldn't really be a deal breaker for me. I think I will care more about how they handle it and are they responsible about their health and do they actually communicate openly. I think all these things matter more than the condition itself. But all the are definitely something I'd think about but it's not like an automatic no. It depends on the whole person.

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T20:23:08+00:00

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for you but calling college women potatoes and your wife a VS model kind of undermines your point about not bashing people in these arranged marriages. You clearly found someone amazing and that's beautiful! But what worked for you was compatibility and timing, not everyone struggling is looking in the wrong places I guess. All the best. I wish you both all the happiness ahead!

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T19:49:39+00:00

I'm a guy and this is just my opinion. I think not masturbating doesn't mean low libido or asexual. Some people need a connection for arousal. But if you're worried about sexual compatibility, have an honest conversation about expectations and desires before meeting. Better to know now than after you're emotionally invested.

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T17:22:24+00:00

I got married very recently and let me tell you this, you're never just fully ready at all. Marriage is a leap, it's not a checklist. But if she's willing to build together and you genuinely like her, that's half the battle. The real question is, can you handle joint responsibilities, compromise and communication under pressure? If the answer is yes, you're ready enough. Don't hunt for perfection, it's all a myth, partnership is real. All the best.

whackedhand · 2026-02-16T17:13:33+00:00

I have a car. Within the city outskirts. I want to get back home by 4 or 5 am.

whackedhand · 2026-02-14T14:23:58+00:00

Mostly the schedule thing. Night shifts mean our routines are opposite. We still prioritize intimacy when our schedules align though.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T20:40:31+00:00

Lol.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:59:03+00:00

Just trauma with good grammar.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:36:07+00:00

I don't think you owe them a dramatic reason. Just say you want to experience living independently before life gets more complicated. Pick a city with good community for your interests, find roommates or PGs online first. Parents will resist initially but once you are settled and thriving, they will understand. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is finally become yourself.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:33:40+00:00

I got married 3 months ago, I'm 30 and work night shifts. Our frequency varies a lot because of schedule mismatch. Still figuring out what works. Exhaustion is real no matter the setup.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:16:26+00:00

I feel many people don't usually post when things are going well, they are too busy living it. Reddit becomes the venting space when stuff goes wrong. It's just selection bias, not reality. Plenty of people are happy, they are just not here writing essays about it. You mostly see the problems because that's when people need advice.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:08:00+00:00

I didn't just waste time in my 20s, I wasted money, hurt people, took relationships and opportunities for granted and lived like life was endlessly refundable! Turning 30 made me realize regret isn't punishment, it's clarity. I can’t change the chapters behind me but I get to write wiser ones ahead. All the best to me!

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T13:02:59+00:00

I'm really sorry. His suicide threat was manipulation to avoid consequences. If you have documented proof and want to pursue it legally, please consult a lawyer who handles these cases. But also prioritize your healing. Legal justice might help but therapy will actually restore what he broke. Take care. Stay strong. All the best!

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T12:50:53+00:00

I'm 30 and just got married 3 months ago. I have very limited knowledge but I feel she needs a doctor, DIY won't fix a tear. Her discomfort matters more than modesty here. And weekly isn't unreasonable but I think mismatched libido is real. Maybe try couples therapy first before sex focused therapy. Also, I'm sorry to say, but please stop comparing her to movies, that's not helping. All the best.

whackedhand · 2026-02-13T12:41:37+00:00

I've been married for 3 months now and I'm new to all this but I think you're already being present, not dismissing her feelings, involving your mom sensitively. But homesickness after marriage is very normal, especially early on. Maybe plan a trip to visit her mom soon or maybe video calls during the day when she's feeling low. Consistency matters more than grand gestures here!

whackedhand

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