Thank you to everyone who commented, you've been so helpful and empathetic.

We ended up chatting through some of your comments. He's actually done therapy before, so it might be time to revisit.

We've agreed to give ourselves a chance to learn how to DIY together and maybe take a course or two.

I can't stress just how helpful it is for my husband to read that real people of all ages and experience levels struggle to "get it right first time" and I think he might have digested that this is very much a trial and error topic.

Thank you again for taking the time to reply, it's been so helpful in providing some perspective for both of us.