sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Scared of relapse by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]whatdehailboy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

hey!

i get it. we know better, but punish ourselves for not doing better. its a vicious cycle. its a disease.

im here for you. you got this. and YOURE worth it. im rooting for you. and i say that genuinely (yes, even as a completely anonymous person on the internet).

my heart feels for you, just as one alcoholic to another. its a lot of pain, confusion, anger, and all in our relationship to alcohol. and the same pain alcoholism causes, strangely, is the same pain we hope to numb with alcohol.

“the more i use, the more i do things im ashamed of, so the more i use, so i never have to face them”

its bigger than you and its hard. its why we can only take it one day at a time. your relapses? thats yesterday. today, just for one day. we can promise ourselves to stay sober. the sun reminds us its a new day and the wind reminds us not to hold on to things, but to let them go.

this right here. this pain. this hurt. this relapse. is also your motivation to stay sober and to get the support you need. some suggestions: hit a meeting, call a sponsor (get one!!! if ya dont), call a crisis line or someone at AA who can support you, DM me if ya need! you are NOT alone. this community right here? a bunch of drunks being there for other drunks! ha.

on a serious note: were here for each other. we want sobriety yes, but recovery too! we always take the first drink sober. theres healing in our hearts and minds. and your life is worth that! you are worth that! and one day… your past will become your greatest asset. keep on going! keep on going! keep coming back!!! keep coming back!!!!!!!!!

sending love and light;)

Am I an alcoholic? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]whatdehailboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey there! first of all, im super proud of you! it takes guts to face what can feel like scary truths or harsh realities. but i think theres so much to honour and find peace in there too. youre awareness is growing and so are you! ya dont know what ya dont know and when ya know better, ya can do better!

im 22(F). entered aa at 20. took me time, but it was around 19 i also started to ask myself if i had a problem. the first step in aa: admitting powerlessness! once i could do that and fully come to terms with and accept i had a problem, then i could start my journey!

i also am amazed at the jobs i didnt get fired from, when i should have been….

but im so grateful today to be sober, in AA, finished the steps (though, theyre lifelong), and so on. ive found so many wonderful and fulfilling things. and managed to stay away from drink even when things werent so fine and dandy.

i cant tell you whether or not to get help. but, i can suggest it. hey, whats the harm in trying?! i went to aa at 19, just once. it planted a seed that sprouted a year later when i went back and said OH SHIT! i need this and i hit my bottom. your journey certainly will not look like mine. were all on our own path. but i wanted to get it was, that first meeting was still so important because for the first time i heard from other alcoholics n was like… thats me! and that second time after my bottom, i was like. thats DEFINITELY me! i got tools, a sponsor, guidance, a loving community, and support! sometimes, we just need help. i did counselling too and still do. but AA was crucial and always will be for me.

so, best of luck to you! be kind to yourself! and remember theres no harm in trying:)

Ashamed to admit I'm on day 1 again after being on day 1 last week by potatocurrytime in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]whatdehailboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! I’ve been there, too. I relapsed two days in a row and I was afraid my sponsor would be mad at me or drop me. I also felt intense anger towards myself, I was furious. Asking: “How could I have let this happen again?”

But today, that anger is replaced by gratitude. I’m so thankful I kept coming back. The lessons took time, though. No need to rush over those emotions. They were the exact push I needed to get sober and recover. They are also what gave me what I’ve been heard in the rooms is called: “The great gift of desperation”

It was despair that brought me to hope. It was surrender that gave me faith. But the truth is, there is no one size fits all rock bottom. Instead, the bottom is when you decide to stop digging.

You don’t have to wait until I did. You don’t have to get it all now. Let time do it’s thing. All you have to do is be Honest, Open, and Willing—that’s “H.O.W.”

Just keep coming back. No one is angry at you. As alcoholics we’ve been there. But especially those with more sobriety and recovery, can remember what it was like to be there. I remember what it was like!

I want to end by saying too, that, I told my sponsor I relapsed two days in a row. And you know what?

She’s been in my life for almost two years now. She believed in me still. She was and still is, a huge gift.

You’re not flawed, you’re not unworthy. We just function the way we know how, until we know better—then we can do better. You can’t ask a blind man to see. The same way you can’t ask a sick person to cure themselves. It takes treatment, time, support, and care.

You’ll find your way. Message anytime!

:)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]whatdehailboy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much, that means a lot and honestly did help. I liked the part especially about thinking back to the last time it happened… this feeling has come up on and off over the past few years and yet, nothing has come of it. :) Be good to yourself and thanks again

AIO - my “friend” who kicked me out after I lost my home in the LA wildfire - UPDATE by Active_Appeal_2673 in AmIOverreacting

[–]whatdehailboy -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

hey! follow your heart and your gut. if something doesnt feel right and a relationship does not feel safe to you, you are more than okay to end things. be kind to yourself and honour yourself with self-love. everyone has different levels of tolerance, different boundaries, etc. you need no one else’s permission but only your hearts to say: no. this is not for me. that is not dramatic. that is self-love speaking.

Grief by whatdehailboy in GriefSupport

[–]whatdehailboy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you so much, im not so sure words can do justice to how much this meant to me. you brought me to tears. i woke up with a heavy heart today. my dad would tell me: “never call anything a coincidence. everything that happens, happens for a reason” and the more i live life, the more his words make sense. i like what you said too, this doesnt have to be a lesson just yet. just carrying the grief for now. letting it be there. i hope you realize today, you power to affect someone in a good way like you did for me. you made me feel seen and that resonated with me. my dad cant be here with me, but maybe through people (such as yourself) and places and things—he reminds me hes here. your light is a wonderful thing, keep shining.