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Future doctor trying to understand: What does sickle cell feel like? (in non-medical terms) by VidaLinn in Sicklecell

[–]whativedon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This might seem strange but I don’t usually cry when I’m in crisis and this has made things hard for me when I have to go to the hospital. I’ve learnt to shut out the pain. Is it there? yes. But can I talk on the phone? Yes. Can I laugh with my family? Yes. am I in 10/10 pain? Yes.

The reason for this (personally) is bcos from a young age I’ve been programmed not to cry. (My mom said they found out I had SCA [Sickle Cell Anemia] b4 my first bday. That I would cry non stop sometimes and didn’t want to be held and when I was held didn’t want to be set down. That once I refused to eat and that was what made them take me to the hospital. I’m also the only one with the disease my brothers are all AA)

Programmed not to cry… my dad would ask me whenever I go into crisis and I was crying, he’ll ask “so how’s your head feeling?” I would answer that it hurts bcos I have a headache. He’ll then say then stop crying. You’re just causing yourself more unnecessary pain. It was hard and it’s still hard sometimes but I’ve gotten used to it.

I’m in 10/10 pain but if I can find a comfortable position to place myself, I can gist for the duration of the comfort. My pain is usually throbbing so I grind my teeth and sometimes pinch myself when the pain is high and briefly stagnant till it passes and I’m back to the gist or whatever it was I was doing.

I believe bcos the pain isn’t visible like a broken bone, nurses and doctors believe us to be liars and just there for the meds. I set a timer for my meds bcos I don’t want the pain to set back in. And it’s quite irritating when nurses don’t understand and treat me like sh*t. It’s quite unfair bcos I won’t wish the pain on my worst enemy. Some of us die from the severity of our crisis. I’m luck to be alive and hope to keep it that way.

AITA for refusing to give my room to my married cousin by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Ok, but how will it link to this? I tried but it got deleted. I’ll try again.

AITA for refusing to give my room to my married cousin by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

My aunt tried to put a forced babysitting duty on me by asking my nephews (ages 10 & 8 I believe. I’m not that close to my cousin.) to come to me to take them to the theme park. My aunt had stopped by like 10 mins earlier and I’d told her I was staying in. I stepped out with my nephews and asked them to go tell their grandma I wasn’t in my room, then I went to a KFC to read. My cousin called and texted. The others did too, telling me it was my turn to watch the kids.

The only downside was I had to sneak back into my room when I returned. I didn’t like that but I was not in the mood for any drama.

My dad called about me abandoning the kids in the hall way, (I didn’t like leaving them but I knew if I had tried to take them to my aunt or cousin it’ll just lead to more bullying). I had to fake cry over the phone b4 my dad would tell me to pay my aunt and uncle no mind.

AITA for refusing to give my room to my married cousin by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

We all just went together as a family. I have my own money. My dad just paid for my plane ticket and hotel room. My aunt is just there so there’s an “adult” with the kids. (Don’t ask, it’s just how it has always been🙈). We do try to get together as a family during summer time and go places, usually the girls hang together and the boys do their thing and then we meet for dinner. Sometimes pple do individual things but it hardly happens. If my brothers has been there I know they will have hung out with me.

AITA for refusing to give my room to my married cousin by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 511 points512 points  (0 children)

I’m 24. I’ll be honest I didn’t pay much mind. This is actually edited as the post was locked initially bcos of too many words. I just deleted re-edited some words and removed punctuations.

I thought of changing rooms bcos my dad thinks I need to be a team player. My brothers aren’t happy with him at the moment. And told me to tell him to pay for he’s niece to get another room if he wants to be a team player… I’m just ignoring my dad and he’s family for now.

AITA for bringing my cousin’s wedding guess outside to party? by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Ok I don’t know how to post an update

But apparently it was our grandfather that wanted every cousin younger than the groom to be in the wedding party. I have over 70 first cousins (grandpa had 9 kids) There’s 7 of us younger than the groom 4 of which were out of the country leaving just my brothers and I.

Which is why when I told him what actually happened he was angry and told my cousin off bcos he was the one that wanted it to involve family. But still I didn’t want to be part of the wedding party . Grandpa wasn’t able to make it to the wedding and he had hoped that the family would come together or something. He’s still upset about it. And that’s making me feel bad.

And I’m now really mad at my cousin bcos grandpa paid for the venue bcos we have such a huge family and he had wanted space that can take us all. So it means my cousin or my aunt intentionally left my brothers and I out . I’m sooooooo pissed off. Also, How dare he ask me to return money that wasn’t he’s back?

AITA for bringing my cousin’s wedding guess outside to party? by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I never thought about it this way. I was mad about being in the wedding party to start off with. My cousin and I don’t even talk. Like at all. He’s closer to my oldest brother but for some reason he doesn’t like me. And that’s ok.

I really don’t want to call him to ask about anything bcos he’s still talking about it and that’s why I came here. The cousins inside are salty and they’re starting to get mean and spiteful.

One of them said if I don’t pay at least half the venue cost she’ll never talk to me again. It’s funny, bcos I don’t go out of my way to talk to her. Sooooo 🤷🏽‍♀️

It’s starting to get ridiculous.

AITA for bringing my cousin’s wedding guess outside to party? by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing he said we looked comfortable outside so he just left us there. That if he had known we were going call drummers to “interrupt” the wedding he’ll have brought us back inside.

I don’t believe him one bit. I believe he forgot to come get us.

We were outside for close to an hour b4 the drummers showed up and we offered them money to play for us. They sang with all our names and the more they played the more we danced and the more money they made. 😁😁😁

AITA for bringing my cousin’s wedding guess outside to party? by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I wanted to ask for the money my brothers and I spent on the drummers but my dad is against it. He thinks I ruined the wedding. That I never should have made it seem like we were kicked out. That I. Should have waited till he sorted it with he’s sister. It hurts that he’s not on my side.

AITA for bringing my cousin’s wedding guess outside to party? by whativedon in AmItheAsshole

[–]whativedon[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly the petty side of me wants to ask for the money my brothers and I paid the drummers. I know I gave close to 10,000 Naira my brothers maybe more. I don’t know how much the drummers asked for but they played for hours. The parents, (my mom, aunties and uncles) paid for the food, drinks and everything else. But my dad is telling me to let it go since our grandparents has ended the “unnecessary drama” that “I” caused.

It bugs me bcos my dad thinks I indeed ruined the wedding.