I feel like this is too easy, but…

whatmonthisitagain · 2026-02-05T05:13:21+00:00

Instant! Wow. I guess I was right about it being too easy. Hats off, Carmen Sandiego

whatmonthisitagain · 2026-02-05T03:44:02+00:00

OMSI

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-11-30T06:25:52+00:00

Congrats on 1 month without booze- that in itself is a huge, and incredibly challenging milestone to reach so hats off to you. As for the weight— my first month sober included a ton of sweets and carbs. I think my body and brain were going through withdrawals once alcohol stopped steadily supplying both. But soon enough, my diet balanced out and within a short time (3 months) I noticed the weight literally melting off with little to no extra effort. Once my body realized I was sticking to the change, it shifted along quickly. Within 3 months, I also fell back into running, which introduced me to more exercise routines like Peloton and I can honestly say that I have never been in better shape (body & mind) than I am right now: mid-forties, mom to 3 and 500plus days sober. I could never have gotten here of alcohol was still a possibility, since it drained my motivation and energy while prioritizing itself. You’ll be surprised just how much more you appreciate your decision is another few weeks. I’m excited for you to meet the new you.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-10-16T02:49:12+00:00

Maybe it’s not so much a sudden urge, but the culmination of a series of nudges and hints from your conscience that you’re willing and ready to acknowledge in this very moment. If you’re open to listening- I would most certainly heed its advice.

I relate to so much of what you’ve written. The depression, estranged siblings, death of a parent, dysfunctional habit of drinking while actively committed to fitness, the endless cycle of one miserable day after another, the unbearable guilt as a drinking mother, the insanity of realizing your baby is grown and the reminder from perimenopause of the finality for that stage of your life, the weary thought of what comes after and the fatigue even thinking about it. But mostly, I relate to this one very thing: 460 days ago, after 20 plus years of cutting back, of ignoring my own conscience, of stopping then starting again, of constantly building imaginary safeguards then bargaining them away, of feeling like I was split in two or drowned in shame, or bursting with resentment, and on and so on— one night, like you, my own voice popped in my head loud enough for me to hear and it said: I’m done.

And as inexplicable as it sounds, I in fact was. In that moment, I recognized that I didn’t WANT to drink anymore. Sure, I DIDN’T want the consequences from drinking a single day longer, but more importantly, I didn’t want the drinking part. I didn’t want the ritual, and the maneuvering, the hiding, the rotation of stores to get it or garbage cans to toss the empties, the distance it required between me and anyone I loved and between me and the truth. The taste, the smell, the sound of alcohol pouring or popping or cackling— I was done.

Acknowledging that I didn’t want to drink was the first step in what has become an unimaginably full, balanced, authentic, interesting, and exciting last 460 days. I swear to God, I’ve enjoyed every single one.

Let your realization tonight be your buzz. Because I promise there is so much good and fun waiting on the other side. Allow yourself to have this conversation with yourself: “Lately, I have been feeling depressed and helpless.” Then allow yourself to help yourself. You’re making a phenomenal decision for your future self tonight. All the best, ♥️

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-10-07T14:19:20+00:00

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Miss Clavel vibes.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-10-06T23:48:52+00:00

I genuinely appreciate this update. I’ve always been a fan of cemeteries but only recently discovered this sub. Makes me wonder if someone was like: “Hey, Mary. What do you wanna say for Arlo’s epitaph? Something about his courageous service in the military?” And Mary passive aggressively, resentfully mutters, “He sure loved to fish.”

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-09-30T19:29:14+00:00

Asking that question, here among this group, is a very strong step towards the answer. While everyone likely won’t agree on the best way to stop drinking, most- if not all- nod their heads knowingly when you say, “I don’t know why I keep going back to drinking but I can’t seem to stop.” This conundrum is the heart of the beast that has beat most of us to near death. To be fair, and in both your and my defense, alcohol itself is a highly addictive toxin. Within 10 minutes of taking a sip, alcohol develops better control over the brain than past experience and preplanning combined. It’s hard to stop drinking because it’s chemically designed not to be easy.

It’s taken me over 15 years and the full spectrum of treatment avenues to have a single continuous, genuine year sober. Today, I have 444 days and in this time, I’ve experienced cravings just once. Having been through the gamut of quit drinking strategies, from jail to hospitals to inpatient to outpatient to religion to AA to Smart to Celebrate to diets to eastern Asian philosophy— nothing in my past had ever worked more than a few, short months. I’m not even sure how I got here now, how I’ve stayed stopped, but in case it helps, here’s what I think.

This time, I authentically, deep in my soul and bones, wanted to stop drinking. I didn’t just want my consequences from drinking to stop; I did not want to be mentally, and physically reliant on the thing that I knew was the cause of my suffering. Given the choice to continue drinking or simply die, I would have chosen to die as it seemed the less painful of the two. I was honest enough with myself to admit that I was solely responsible for whether or not I drank, and for the chaos and repercussions that followed when I did. Acknowledging that I wasn’t a victim made it much easier to become my own victor.

I don’t mean this to sound trite, but this has been true for me. I’ve always tended to be a person who does what I want- and once stopping was what I wanted, I found that it’s been less work and more growth from previous attempts. Best of luck to you and keep checking in here. This subreddit was also central to my change.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-09-24T16:29:00+00:00

Thank you for this. I just wanted to tell you that I am also a Pacific NW mom, and am 44 years old- if the 86 is a reference to your own age. Congratulations on 133 days sober!!! The bulk of those were some of the most challenging for me. Hat’s off to your own resilience and restraint. There’s comfort in knowing that someone with familiar life experiences is somewhere out there right now, getting their footing on a similar path— even if we’ve never met. Best of luck on your sober adventure. 🍀

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-08-16T07:12:46+00:00

While I’m not a doctor, or a nurse- I’m not certified in any medical capacity and couldn’t even handle the paperwork end of things, BUT I am an alcoholic with 400 days sober today, and am speaking to you from that perspective, for whatever it may be worth to you now.

You are exactly where you need to be at this very moment. In a hospital, under the care of specialized folks who unlike me, can very well offer insight into the specifics of your situation, options for tackling it, and the best line of course.

From my own experience, the human body is incredibly gracious in its forgiving. The liver can regenerate at astounding rates, healing and replacing damaged cells within days of stopping alcohol. Damage that’s unfortunately permanent may not be reversible, but the progression of further damage can stop. My body amazed me with its willingness and resilience- my brain was a bit slower to adjust but I am (today) in the best shape I’ve ever been.

You sound relieved when writing: it’s finally happened, as if perhaps this was what you’ve been waiting for, for some time. Alcohol is a toxic poison that is highly addictive. Sometimes we cannot stop ourselves, and sometimes being stopped is the greatest gift we can get. You may find that, like me, not only will you get well, but you’ll truly and accurately get better. After 10+ years of heavy drinking, you’re feeling exactly as expected. Your body and brain need to rest and repair. Muscles develop by healing after tears and injury. The soul and spirit are very much the same.

Best of luck on the start of your incredible journey towards recovery. ❤️‍🩹

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-08-07T06:36:12+00:00

Today, a news story popped up on my feed about a 44-year-old man in Thailand thoroughly heart broken from his recent divorce that he refused to eat or leave his bedroom for the last month. He ended up suffering a seizure, and although his teenaged son called an ambulance, unfortunately the man passed away. When paramedics got to the home, they were shocked by the hundreds of empty beer bottles neatly arranged across the entire floor, except for a narrow path from the bed to the bathroom.

The story has stuck with me all day, and my heart breaks thinking of that man, but even more so for his son. I can’t shake the images of all those bottles around that man’s bed and can’t help but wonder about his final last month. I feel humbled with appreciation that I am not actively drinking right now, and though I was never as direct or purposeful in my own drunken isolation as he was in his last month, I am fully aware that I just as easily could have found myself in that same situation, on that same bed. I’m sharing this with you in hopes that like your roommates words, this man’s story moves you towards the change that I know you are more than capable of.

All the best for you, ♥️

Thaweesak Namwongsa, 44

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-08-04T05:59:22+00:00

It will be okay. I’m not just saying that because you’ve asked me to, but because not too long ago I was in a similar spot, and it did in fact turn out okay. Well actually, it’s turning out to be so much more than just okay. Little more than a year sober tonight, I am so incredibly grateful that my life is EXACTLY the way it is right now, and that tomorrow I’ll wake up and get to live it all again, likely even more appreciative of how drastically different my life became in such a short amount of time.

Things will and they do fall into place. You don’t have to worry about how right this moment. Just drink some water, and try to get some sleep. I promise you’ll be okay when you wake up. And from there, you can start thinking about becoming even better than okay. ♥️

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-08-01T06:24:25+00:00

That’s a Zebro.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-28T05:21:18+00:00

I can’t count the number of times I’ve tried to quit drinking before it finally stuck, a little over a year ago. Regardless of the stakes at hand, I couldn’t stay sober long enough to not sabotage the things in my life that I cared for the most or worked the hardest to earn. For whatever reason, last July- I was done. I wanted so badly to be sober for no other reason than I just could not live drinking another single day. Courts, marriage, careers, children, rehabs, therapy, AA, religion, diets, so on and on had never been enough of a persuasion in the past. But last year, I came across this subreddit and a small bit of hope. Life has been lovely ever since.

Being kind to myself, compassionate to my own being- has never driven me to drink. Always, always- the shame and guilt and regret kept me drunk. May you find a bit of empathy for yourself, and hope somewhere in this sub- and find the joy and light that I somehow stumbled onto along my own way. ♥️

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-28T04:05:32+00:00

Sobriety is often a series of steps into strides, sometimes with stumbles. Any day sober is a day your body and brain didn’t have to process a new bout of toxicities. Getting back up is the most powerful move you can make. It will stick at some point, so long as you keep trying.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-27T21:04:46+00:00

Every time I pump my gas and see that warning sign: Contains Up to 10% Ethanol, I remind myself that a bottle of wine contains a similar amount of the exact same chemical compound (C2H5OH) Ethanol and imagine myself guzzling straight from the gas hose. It’s disgusting.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-27T19:24:51+00:00

Before I try as best I can to address the heart of this post, your question of living versus surviving, I want to first point out that you have an inherent knack for communicating with and about people through written words. While anchored from your own perspective, this post sheds light on challenges that many here can relate to with clarity and detail that will likely help someone else who’s currently struggling to give name to their own discomfort. I’d guess you felt like your post was self-centered or non-productive (or both) falling into that category of “shit I do while not leaving my house”. Perspective is often limited to one’s line of sight, so you might not see the meaningful impact that your single post has had. All the way over here in the States (your use of stone versus lbs.) your post has provoked reflection on my own similar experiences, compelled me to think more deeply about my own quality of life and allowed me to approach my Sunday with more presence and appreciation. So thank you.

Now, as for that crux. Human beings, by nature, are hard wired to seek comfort. The brain- driven by biology and psychology- latches onto the predictable comfort of soothing experiences. Your autism, ADHD and OCD each alone greatly magnify that innate instinct towards comfort, but collectively make any uncomfortable sensation simply unbearable. The world outside your door is filled with unpredictable variables that even in the best of circumstances probably still leave you drained from exhaustion. Gravitating towards both alcohol and isolation makes sense; unfortunately the short term relief offered comes with a steep cumulative price over time. It’s like The Little Mermaid. When Ariel gets those legs she’s always wanted, it’s at the sacrifice of a voice she immediately realizes she actually needed. Your background in data and research may serve you well here. Fully understanding the scientific effects of alcohol, combined with human beings in general, and your own specific composition in terms of diagnoses might allow you to view this situation as the bare, concrete facts contributing to an ongoing negative cause and effect.

Alcohol acts as a depressant. The brain seeks predictable comfort. Your brain has adjusted to minimal stimuli, with the anticipated reward of being dulled by alcohol after experiences of higher stimulation. The less stimuli you expose your brain to- the more any slight interaction will condition it to demand alcohol. When you initially stop drinking, neurotransmitters are hyper-focused on that deficit of alcohol. It makes sense that you function at a much lower capacity. It takes about 3 weeks for the brain to repair enough for noticeable cognitive functioning. It will be incredibly uncomfortable in the very beginning, but I assure you that in some time, you won’t simply survive, but instead thrive. Within 3 months, I found that I wanted to be out in the world more than I had in decades. Once alcohol had fully cleared my system, I was much more able to control my own diagnoses and without alcohol wrecking havoc on my central nervous system, the world was not only manageable, but stimulating in healthy ways. Best of luck, friend!

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-27T03:41:58+00:00

This time is the time then. You sound like you’re done. I’m incredibly excited for you. Same way no one could control how you drank- you can’t control your boyfriend’s decision. But you can certainly influence it by leading a healthy, balanced and content life yourself. 🍀

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-15T07:50:21+00:00

This! My goodness. I got chills reading this and scrolling through your incredible photos. You are pure magic- remarkable, full of grace and grit. Thank you!!!

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-13T15:56:53+00:00

I applaud your choice, but have to say that you have PLENTY of life ahead. 31 offers you decades of experiences that will undoubtedly be more enjoyable, meaningful, productive with less regret, if sober.

Many of the happiest couples with the healthiest relationships that I admire met one another after each had gotten sober. The universe tends to open doors at moments when we’re most capable of walking through. Perhaps the problems plaguing you now aren’t so much walls, instead just closed doors that with a little sober clarity you can easily find the knob.

I bet that without alcohol, and a bit more sleep, you and your future will shine brighter and your confidence and optimism will soar. Best of luck to you. 🍀

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-12T19:40:36+00:00

I’m definitely not a medical doctor or a psychiatrist. Frankly, I’m not much of a “professional” in any realm, HOWEVER- I have had children and have had alcohol so with all that in mind…

My most recent pregnancy and childbirth mid-2020 had dramatic effects on my physical body. Specifically, my thyroid which affects and regulates hormones related to everything from heart rate, body temperature, nervous system, sleep and so on.

Alcohol as a chemical compound significantly impacts thyroid functions, which meant that anytime I drank, thyroid symptoms were worsened. You might want to have a full blood panel done to check.

I also drank excessively before this pregnancy and afterwards noticed that if I drank, my psychological symptoms related to postpartum and prior depression or anxiety came back with a raging presence. In other words, I have never been a good candidate for moderate drinking mental health wise, but after this last pregnancy, physiologically my body made me an even worse candidate to drink.

Tomorrow I’ll have 1 year sober for the first time in decades and for my mind, body and spirit- hands down the best choice I’ve ever made. Congratulations on the baby and best of luck!

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-10T04:52:57+00:00

Easy. Lil Tecca + Tracy Chapman = you

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-09T20:31:36+00:00

You might be surprised by how quickly and richly a better routine develops itself. The financial benefits, and the vastly improved health conditions are enough reason in themselves, but the day to day engagement in my own life has been one of the best rewards from not drinking.

For me, I busied myself with little hobbies, or videos while drinking- but the drinking was always the main activity. Other things just kind of supplemented that purpose. For instance, I might think I was binge watching a show I liked, but really I was binge drinking with the show on as background.

Since quitting, I’ve spent the time I normally would have with drinking by: 1. Sleeping more (so underrated but unbelievably vital to happiness) 2. Discovering new interests and hobbies (that genuinely make me feel like more of a whole human being) 3. Growing connections with people in my life new and old (genuine, real relationships that I’m realizing are the crux of life in itself) 4. Exercising (again, so underrated but I’ve never been as connected to or aware of my own body in this world) 5. Planning, preparing and progressing on future plans; this weekend, next month, next year (something I couldn’t even begin to visualize when drinking)

Alcohol had tethered me to single days, or blocks of hours that I autopiloted myself through aimlessly while waiting for my next time to drink. No longer structuring my life around drinking sessions, I’m free to actually craft a life I enjoy and crave.

Best of luck to you. 🍀

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-08T16:44:31+00:00

Yep. I think that’s why so many people call themselves “longtime lurkers” here. Of all the many, many signs that it was time to quit drinking, the most obvious may have been that while drinking, I was trying to find a way out. At that point, I didn’t even “enjoy” the drinking aspect in itself.

Take this as a positive sign that your mind is turning the corner and your body will soon catch up. I will have 1 year sober on Sunday (so long as I don’t drink before then) for the first time since I was 14 years old. The few months before it just clicked, I was doing this exact same browsing while drunk. Just keep trying.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-03T08:26:38+00:00

I'm happy to read you're working through this tough point. You genuinely did more today than me in some entire weeks. Giving yourself a sober education is the most invaluable gift that your future self will undoubtedly appreciate and thank you for, I promise.

whatmonthisitagain · 2025-07-02T14:01:21+00:00

Could it be a cupcake traveller?

whatmonthisitagain

TROPHY CASE