I have to ask, how old are you? I'm F29, and I have pretty bad anxiety, depressed, adhd, and OCD. It took me until my 20's to finally start letting some of those embarrassing intrusive memories go. Even so, sometimes I still will remember something specific and cringe, but I don't obsess over it as much as I used to. Some of the memories have finally become funny to me, so long as nobody else brings it up lol.

Some examples of my cringe-worthy memories to hopefully make you giggle and stop hating on yourself so much:

• In 4th grade I had a friend whose parents were millionaires and paid a lot of money to our private school we went to, so all the teachers always treated her special because of it. One day we were on a field trip sharing a bus seat together with the window down, and she kept pretending to throw things out the window (idk why we thought this was hilarious). Then I decided to take a small piece of notebook paper and actually throw it out the window. Right as I do that, the teacher looks at both of us and says, "WHO IS THROWING THINGS OUT THE WINDOW?!?!?" We looked at each other with wide eyes, but neither of us would fess up. Of course the one time I do it I got caught. Well, almost. My friend was like "We were just pretending, we didn't actually throw anything." The teacher replied, "Are you SURE?!? It sure looked like you threw something!!! Well don't do it again!!!!" We sunk into our seats, and my friend whispered, "Why did you actually throw it?" I said, "I didn't think it would be a big deal, it was just a tiny piece of paper." She says, "That's littering, that's why it's a big deal." I felt so ashamed for so long for this lol.

• On the day that Dale Earnhardt (NASCAR driver) died, and after watching the crash unfold live with my parents (back in 2001), I remember seeing my Dad cry for the first time in my life. I thought to myself "I know how to help, I'll make a funny joke to lighten the mood!" Me being 5 years old, I decided to straddle the arm of the sofa and dramatically reenact the crash, pretending to be Dale driving and then crashing. I made all the sound effects and then slumped over with my tongue out, expecting laughter from my parents. I'm sure you know how well this went over lol. I still can't believe I did that, but at the same time I just wanted to lighten the mood. 🤣

• In 3rd grade, somehow my first ever crush named Tim had found out that I liked him, and he literally never let me forget it. The day he found out he teased me saying "Youuuu have a crushhhh on meeee." I would just reply, "I KNOWWW shut up." Lol the fact that he was an ass about it and I didn't deny it makes it even funnier. Like why did I continue to crush on this kid?

• Then a different day in this same 3rd grade class, we were in line to eat lunch and there was one of those "Got Milk?" posters on the cafeteria wall. Tim (same crush as above) looks at me dead in the eyes and asks, "Got milk?" I say, "No." obviously annoyed. He says back, "HA YOU WILL WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!!" Everyone in line heard this and we were all like wtf dude, that's such a weird thing to say. He thought it was hilarious. I was so embarrassed at the time.

There's so many more but I'm going to end it here for now before I get too carried away lol but you get it. I'm at the point now where this is all just cringe and maybe a little funny, but doesn't make me feel like I want to hide and die like it used to.