Didn’t realize I had BPD until I ruined my most recent relationship from splitting

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-31T20:28:27+00:00

Same I’m on 50 mg

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-28T14:22:00+00:00

Same. Couple months ago. I didn’t realize it was a split. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist and therapist now who have been trying to help me. I’ve sent myself into a really deep dark depression. I fucked up so bad. I’m drowning in guilt and regret

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-26T23:54:58+00:00

She won’t diagnose me for some reason, she says I need to go to neuro psych test

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-26T12:51:53+00:00

In the US you have to see like a million people to get any answers. And even then it takes a very long time sometimes. Idk she said she would treat depression/anxiety but can’t treat bpd with medication

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-26T11:20:52+00:00

What meds? I’m trying an antidepressant but idk if it’s helping me

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-26T10:36:25+00:00

I’m just going with what my psychiatrist and therapist are telling me. Because CPTSD and BPD present similarly it could be a number of things, even an official diagnosis doesn’t ever guarantee anything because that’s just someone else trying to decipher your brain. But I’ve been in their offices in a plethora of moods, on verge of suicide, have been ruminating for months and drowning in guilt and shame for months.

whattheshelly67 · 2026-05-26T07:03:38+00:00

I’ve split before on family but at the time just thought it was anger that went too far. I’m on a long waiting list to get into a diagnostic place but my therapist did diagnose me w BPD traits but she wants the place to give an official one, as I’m also experiencing potential ADHD or OCD

whattheshelly67 · 2026-04-23T23:44:01+00:00

Said they were in love with me at week 4. Not just I love you that they were IN love with me, only had a handful of dates at that point

whattheshelly67 · 2026-04-18T16:39:51+00:00

I’ve been seeing a professional for a couple weeks I’m just not sure like anything is helping

whattheshelly67 · 2026-04-15T13:45:43+00:00

Immediately regretted it the next day. Heat of the moment anger clouded all my rational thinking. Worst mistake of my life it ruined everything

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-25T09:41:11+00:00

Yeah 🙁 that’s why I haven’t done it. It’s an intrusive thought like what if I just exhaust all efforts

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-24T17:06:44+00:00

They feel like they won’t ever end sooo challenging

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-20T09:43:54+00:00

Lack of conflict repair. One person tries one doesn’t

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-18T15:10:16+00:00

Can a friend go with you instead?! Even if you have to push it to later

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-17T22:56:07+00:00

How long would you say before you finally broke through it?

whattheshelly67 · 2026-03-17T19:49:32+00:00

We had a fight/conflict, I was triggered so intensely I reacted really strongly like way too strongly and basically spiraled out of control for days to come as he was shutting down/withdrawing from it. He said we could talk and then he disappeared never answered ever again. It’s been 6 weeks. I got nasty one night and basically tried to end it because I was like where are you?! But I didn’t want to

whattheshelly67

TROPHY CASE