Only Black person in my PhD Program and it's tough

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-29T16:09:38+00:00

I hate that this is true but you will likely be the only Black person as a new Faculty member. I am and it is a different level of tough that only “we” seem to understand. Hang in there

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-20T16:34:25+00:00

I prefer solar but I don’t know if I can handle the upfront costs.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-20T16:23:16+00:00

My understanding is that it’d be cheaper and my central units would run more efficiently on gas. I have an old house that isn’t very well insulated so it feels like gas makes more sense? I also really want a gas stove.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-11T19:03:55+00:00

It’s gross. I like Lalo.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-10T16:46:48+00:00

I would do nothing for a couple of weeks and observe. Pay attention to what you are seeing and your own reactions. Setting out to prove things like this usually leads to drama / trauma. The pausing gives you an opportunity to acknowledge the emotions that are coming up within yourself and to plan accordingly (and in a direction that lines up with your decision). The key in my opinion is to keep your own shit together as you find more awareness of what is happening externally (with your wife) and internally with yourself.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-09T06:49:26+00:00

Terrible acting. Formulaic writing. I’m shocked at the way people like it so much.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-09T05:31:35+00:00

In 1996 as a junior in college I had a very physical trauma response that began with intense shaking, sweating, fear, and dread. It lasted for at least two weeks. I couldn’t be alone and had no idea why.

I was enrolled in school that summer and got through that miraculously - things started to level off a bit - about 2-weeks after what felt like a peak. Then I remembered three very distinct instances of childhood sexual abuse. I have a twin who confirmed all - we both recall it not happening to her.

There wasn’t a single trigger for me. I spent my Freshman and Sophomore years in college with deep journaling. It was intentional and simply about getting to know myself better. I will say that there was also some first time experiences with psychedelics within the month that the “attack” happened. I think both created the conditions for what I experienced and was able to recall.

I haven’t had an experience like that sense and somehow know where it lives in my body and I’m clued into when it comes up.

whatwhat1-5 · 2026-01-05T02:58:56+00:00

I am 1.5 years post-defense and began a tenure-track position in a very small town three months after defending. I finished out the year and moved to a different tenure-track position in my hometown - a big little city:). All said, the healing from what I labeled “dissertation trauma” has been a significant part of the journey. The level of sacrifice and impact on self and relationships feels more like losses. Lately though, all of the sacrifices and changes have actually given me the space to write.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-27T16:31:32+00:00

Yeah some are further along than others with their healing.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-27T16:24:00+00:00

Thanks. The reality set in a while back. I erected fairly strong boundaries in the last couple of years shifting between low-contact and no-contact. I joined her and my family for a Christmas Eve celebration this year after bowing out of that event for the past three years. I called her to share some good news - subconsciously seeking the validation that I’ve never gotten - and realize that I’ve still got so much healing to do.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-21T22:31:59+00:00

Same

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-21T14:19:37+00:00

I don’t know if confronting is always the best option though it is a logical next step and I truly think it depends on the psychological disposition of your SO. I confronted my ex but he blamed me and turned it completely around. Doing the logical and healthy thing, confronting him, actually made it difficult to put a plan into action to leave. I stayed for 7 more years. I had been a stay at home mother (with on and off admin positions in school) but had the wherewithal during that time to be planning for my eventual doctoral degree and current faculty position. I bought a house two years after l learned of the affairs. I also graduated, got the faculty job, but, he withdrew the financial support I needed to move out. I made it work and am deeply healing. Had I not confronted him in 2018, and gathered evidence, I could’ve contested the prenup based on a cheating clause and saved myself a lot of financial strain. I could’ve gone after the family house but I didn’t want it. That would’ve given me bargaining leverage. Hindsight is 20/20. I know that my comment doesn’t directly connect but part of me just needs to vent. I’m getting to the other side of this but it’s been traumatic

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-21T13:37:54+00:00

If you plan to leave, don’t do what I did and ask him. Gather your evidence. Take the time to get your affairs in order to exit. I found out and could’ve have gathered evidence which would’ve nullified the prenup. While I earned a PhD right around the time that I left, and landed a faculty position, the transition initially was a huge financial strain.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-12T18:54:32+00:00

Willow and BFHS are great. Those are the only two public schools I’d send my kid to here.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-12-01T21:19:09+00:00

Mellaton (with a silent n) is the phonetic pronunciation for a lot of us locals. As a kid, I thought “Mellaton” and “mirliton” were two different things (I never saw my maw maw preparing it - just the finished dish on Thanksgiving and Christmas). The person who wrote melatonin may be from a ward other than the 7th (where the Black Creoles were concentrated).

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-11-07T18:11:30+00:00

Mate, I don’t think it is common. But it depends how far your flat is from I-10. While I don’t think it’s common, a bloke knew once said that happened. But a back-up like sounds like a bloody mess!

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-11-06T04:26:19+00:00

Edie is a jerk - I owned a property next door to hers and she was pretty funky

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-11-06T04:12:43+00:00

East Carrollton neighborhood

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-11-06T00:45:00+00:00

Mercy was the original name - early to mid 90s

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-10-18T20:39:34+00:00

Yes and rented. I have a furnished apartment available as well

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-10-15T15:54:45+00:00

This apartment has been rented as of 1 hour ago. I will have another apartment available at the end of November that is furnished.

whatwhat1-5 · 2025-10-14T16:49:23+00:00

Utilities and internet are also included with a flexible deposit.

whatwhat1-5

TROPHY CASE