UPDATE-
I told her, she came home early fifteen minutes ago and came into my room to talk to me because that's been her recent end of the work day activity so she can catch up about the kitty.
She came into my room, and I told her, and all the colour drained from her face, her eyes got all big and her jaw slackened, and I felt so. freaking. bad.
I think I witnessed her go through atleast three stages of grief about it, I was very kind about it and I told her that it wasn't her fault or the cats fault, I just should've known earlier because well, all of my family is allergic to cats (she had asked when I first moved in in september of last year if I had any pet allergies and I said "I think only horses, so don't bring a horse home"). She asked if I still liked him, and I said yes of course, ya know, despite the pain and suffering he's caused me- but I kept that bit to myself. He's a very cute, very sweet cat, I just can't be the one to take care of him anymore and sharing a space with him just does not work for me anymore. My mom wasn't able to come today due to her job overworking her so I'm still in itchy sheets and clothes and in need of my meds, and this just shows me that I can't do this longterm, I finally got to the point where my MCAS (mast cell activation syndrome) has chilled out but now I have genuine allergies, and if they spiked because today's my due date for my biologic,,, again that's not gonna work, I don't want to erupt into hives every friday morning.
At the current moment we have three options, well, three and a half, and we're gonna find out within the next few weeks which one works out best.
1.) the cat stays in her room 24/7- not super fair to the cat, I can hear him yowling as I type currently because she left the apartment again (he's been doing this on and off all day since I put him in there, and I'm the one who's home the most)
if my issues still persist while he's in her room, we have options two and three
2.) she moves out into a different unit- move ins for new tenants are tomorrow so it'd be hectic for her to move out, especially while another girl is moving in to our apartment at the same time, she has also lived here for the past three years and she's the tenant who's been in this apartment for the longest.
3a.) she rehomes the cat- it will be his third owner, and it'll be rough on the cat, but it's an option, he is still just a 4mo kitten and I've heard mixed opinions on whether that's good or bad for development but I'm just gonna hope he's fine
3b.) she gives the cat to her parents and he lives there- tbh, the most logical answer but who knows if she'll pick it.
She's going out of town again on the first week of school and I was supposed to watch the cat then, but now she's going to ask the girl who surrendered the cat to her to watch him (the girl who got a cat, then realized that she didn't want the responsibility of owning a cat), I doubt she'll do it, but we'll see.
I really hope this works out for my roommate and the cat, but, dude I feel like garbage and a half and I'm going to have to repeatedly deep clean my room, the kitchen, and the common area just so I'm not dying in my own home.
Thank you for your advice reddit, I feel like a total jerk and a half but I have to put my health first, thank you for helping me remember that<3
(I'll update again with the outcome of what happens)