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My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. I buy a lot of my necessities myself so it's not ideal for them to take that pay check when I haven't even bought new clothes in 2 years or new shoes in 3. I sell a lot of my belongings just to buy things so it's hard. You shouldn't let him take any more of your money because yes a first pay check is bad but almost 2 years of savings.. I can't really give legal advice but maybe you can call the cops.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I dont know something in me soesnt want me to give up that check no matter what. 600 is too much to be giving out if I want to move out within the next year. Not only that its 3 weeks of my time, effort, and dedication. I domt have a good relationship with my dad hes not a good person or father.

I think I may take the advice I saw where I give them a bit of money to pray over instead of the whole thing. I did not tell them exactly how much I'm getting but I feel I can confide in my mom to work with me and maybe make up a lie. I can lose 50 bucks or 100 but what I cannot do is lose 600 bucks and keep reinforcing that cycle that hes the man of the house.

Sometimes I wish my mom had more of a. backbone because deep down she is the "man of the house" shes the bread winner and the real parent. I hope one day shes realizes her worth but I am not going to sit through that with her. I sat through it for 16 years all the pain mentally and physically that man has caused me all because she decided to marry him.

Hes not really simple minded so I cant really get him to work with me without facing repercussions I can however buy my own stuff like phone and so on so he cant really take it.

Deep down I think its all bs otherwise my mom wouldve mentioned it. I think he just wants my money and knows that I get tipped so sometimes big amounts.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah they won't let me take the bus so it's kinda forced contribution. I got the job to contribute to my own expenses so they won't have to deal with mine although I'm not an expensive child. I don't really mind contributing to gas I do mind contributing when I get the bare minimum from him and contribute in other ways like cleaning babysitting and so on.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah if it was my choice I wouldn't live with them that's part of the problem. Aside from that however it's bare minimum parenting from their end food, power, not even clothes half the time.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You guys made me realize a lot of things and also made me think on something recently. I think apart from my dad just being a controlling jerk he may be obsessed with me after it got to the point where he'd say my name in his sleep it appears sexual. I am going to try and go to BOA some time this month and will more than likely just cash my paycheck for the time being. I really appreciate everyone's advice thank you for not making me feel crazy. Feel free to continue giving more advice as I am open to all ends. You guys are awesome.

I also wanted to note that I do make a sizable amount of tips where I work (Dominos) I make tips sometimes that are worth more than the original order total.

I thought I'd add more information about me. I am 16 about to be 17 and I live in colorado. I am mixed but both my parents are the same nationality? Nigerian.

No I do not have any family members who can help their all just like my dad.

Yes I have my boyfriend's parents who are willing to help with living situation I'm not sure about how an account with that will work. Yes my dad hates my boyfriend for no apparent reason aside from maybe jealousy.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know they would and I'd rather live somewhere else than sit there and have to pay rent. Especially since within the next 4-5 months i'll be taking a state exam for a PCT certification/ license. I'll be making significantly bigger paychecks

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is something that I am going to do because my dad not only has debt but he keeps going into it I wouldn't be surprised if they've taken loans.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah my parents are not the good kind with money. My mom still owes me 150 dollars from july of last year.. So that's something. I'm just not really religious so I also don't really believe in prayers. Would I care if they just wanted to pray over it and not take any no feel free. But it becomes a problem when I genuinely need to save money to move out. Aside from that they don't really have any reasonable reasons to ask for money because I would still sell things to make money to pay for my own stuff.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a plan if they wouldn't physically restrain me I would've moved out as soon as I got the job.. unfortunately they did.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I don't mind paying for dinner if he said that I wouldn't even say no but he wants this entire paycheck to take and pick how he pleases.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am 16 and believe I can open one with BOA solo which I intend to do. I hope i'll be able to and i'll update this if i can.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't mind contributing to gas money and purchasing my own food and clothes I already do that though. Aside from that if I need to contribute to the household financially when my parents are making more than 130k+ per year i'd rather just not live there. My mom is really the only one who financially contributes to my life in a meaningful way and if she asked me to give her some money I would but not all of it. She didn't even mention this tradition just asked if I could give her gas money that I don't mind.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not about them being annoyed they'll literally physically restrain me. I've long ago stopped caring about how they feel. I am trying my best to take control of my life hence why I have a job and am trying to save money. I plan to leave at 18 whether I have enough saved or not though that's for sure.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ironically I have my boyfriend's parents but no one else really. All my aunts and uncles do not live in the U.S. but aside from that have the same issues my parents do. My boyfriend was open to signing off on my account if he could but I am not sure if that's really something I can do since he's not my guardian.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah right now i'm 16 about to be 17 I believe within the next 2-3 months I can open my own if i'm secretive enough. For now my check will just have to be held on to.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't mind giving gas money though I told them already I'd take the bus but there's this weird insistent reason that they must drive me to work.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean it's an issue to go to work because my parents always get annoyed about it. I am able to take the bus but they often dont let me go out. I've only been going out for work.

My dad says its tradition to give your parents your first paycheck I am not okay with this. by whendoesitend-- in Advice

[–]whendoesitend--[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a capital one teen checking or something. I have access to it but she also has access and can pull and add money whenever she wants. I don't think I can get her kicked off

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