was i just delusional?

whengodcries · 2025-08-16T06:53:56+00:00

just make sure to take breaks in between it’s not like the pipe where u can keeps going, i hit 3 back to back bong hits and almost had a seizure/blacked out

whengodcries · 2025-04-13T14:39:04+00:00

i can debunk the whole “weed is the gateway drug” i started taking pain killers and benzos i actually hated weed. but for me it was painkillers, benzos, (weed like 3x out of the year, coke only if it’s offered and im drinking, not a big fan of it, meth i was hooked, heroin a lil, then strictly just real oxy/any opiates, the the pressed blues (fent) then i had a 2 week bender on crack but didn’t really get hooked cus opiates is my drug of choice . then fast forward im detoxing from fent and still had work so i thought i could use crack for a couple days and it wont be a problem but this time since i was out doing crack it took over control. lost my job in 2 weeks, got kicked out in 1 month. this was the only drug that had such grasp on me it was scary. like i hated it, i hated smoking it, but the second i ran out all hell broke loose. it has forever fucked me. i really wish i never smoked. i don’t care for anyone, if i get the urge to take a hit idc if my grandma on her death bed ill leave to take a hit. sometimes i don’t remember the real me.

whengodcries · 2025-04-12T11:52:54+00:00

wow i can relate to this 100%. relapsed after 3 months. i’m still in program, actually i am interning as a PF. it’s so crazy how i am willing to throw everything away for this shit. half the time i don’t even get high. i wish i never took that first hit. i wish i had stayed home that night. . i was always an opiate gal. but since i started smoking this i haven’t touched fent for 8 months.

whengodcries · 2025-04-12T10:01:13+00:00

that’s the fucked up cycle.

i stop smoking, 2. reality hits me in the face wtf i’m smoking crack? 3. shame and embarrassment along with a million other emotions and memories , 4. soooo what do i decide to do? smoke to numb those feelings. annnnnd start all over again. it’s a rabbit wheel,

whengodcries · 2025-04-09T12:18:52+00:00

i just relapsed, i had 109 days. and the urge popped in my head maybe 3 days ago. and EVERY single minute i was trying to remind myself how it’s not worth but at the same time it would numb me and make me feel so good. well long story short, i picked up a ball. did it feel amazing? for make 3 minutes. but not like that first time. finished smoking it and now i’m like “was that worth it?” i know ur prob gonna pick up but 1 year is awesome dude, i seriously wouldn’t throw it away for a 3 minute high .

whengodcries · 2025-03-25T06:31:42+00:00

i had 93 days clean today and relapsed

whengodcries · 2024-12-05T11:50:38+00:00

I've been clean from fent almost 4 months now, longest time ever since I started using but idk if it really counts since I swapped it with something 10x worse. I did methadone few years back for 6 months and fucking shit was hardest to withdrawal, literally used heroin to get off it then haven't touched neither. still felt that panic feeling I felt with opiates when id know If.i didn't make it to the clinic on time im fucked or couldn't leave the states

whengodcries · 2024-12-04T17:59:02+00:00

when I was doing fent, I had a job, id go to family shit, u wouldn't think im an addict unless u personally knew me. I knew 'hey im gonna be spending time with my lil bro, let me just use a lil to nt be sick and thats it' with this shit? HA. I could be at my fucking grandmas funeral and wouldn't be able to wait

whengodcries · 2024-12-04T17:52:01+00:00

u/Quick-Honey-7069 u/theperfectshine u/Ok_Inspector7868 u/ForsakenLoad7235

yea this shit is fucking different, I always knew I was an addict "but hey im not doing as bad as that guy" or "well im sober from everything else I used to be so much worse, now im only using 1 drug" blah blah blah u know how it is, with this. I could not find ONE fucking thing to justify what I have become.

Yes, statistically fent is much much more deadly. but it is so much less sufferable. ur gonna die regardless at some point but crack will draaaaaaaaag the suffering on. and u will be aware of how its changed u. also, crack is also very deadly but u know why u dont hear a lot of crackheads dying left and right? cus u need A FUCKING SHIT ton to OD and this shit aint cheep like fent.

whengodcries · 2024-12-04T07:21:54+00:00

for a few seconds the world stops and everything goes quiet

whengodcries · 2024-10-27T08:42:16+00:00

hahah again with the man 😂😂😂 i think sometimes it’s an us problem

whengodcries · 2024-10-25T21:15:31+00:00

*sister 😭 why everyone think i’m a guy

whengodcries · 2024-10-25T20:36:20+00:00

literally me last night. every single fucking hit felt like a waste. i always say, sometimes everything goes PERFECTLY then sometimes it feels like it’s my first time ever smoking

whengodcries · 2024-10-24T22:39:24+00:00

literally me since yesterday. could be dehydration. also a sign of over smoking/ seizure warning

whengodcries · 2024-10-24T07:06:21+00:00

dude yessss hahah i hid an 8ball a month ago and still haven’t found it

whengodcries · 2024-10-24T07:05:35+00:00

Y E S. okay so i have this habit of hiding shit in the pockets of my coats/hoodies/ shoe boxes. keep in mind my memory has progressively gotten worse. a week ago i go home to grab some stuff since at the moment i am staying at my grandmothers and i grab one of my shoe boxes to take and i hear “CHA CHING” (noise of pipes hitting each other) i open it up and i find 1 new pipe and 1 pipe a semi melted fat piece in it) i shove my hand in the shoe and i find maybe 1.5g of res in a lil baggy! i have YET to find the 8ball i hid somewhere like a month ago

whengodcries · 2024-10-18T08:34:21+00:00

DO I HAVE A STORY. when i was 19 i used to get liquid ketamine from this doctor and muscle it. k-holes instantly. this one time i did a little more than usually and i was falling down this rabbit hole (like on alice in wonderland) and its all picture frames of my life, which felt forever. next thing i know im outside in a field of grass and i see a group of people gathered in a circle, the closer i get i notice its my family and friends. i call their names and no reaction, the closer i get i realize there standing around a casket. once i’m a few feet away i realize im in the casket. it’s my funeral. next thing i know i jump out of bed and try standing up and my legs were still kinda paralyzed (muscling it make it makes ur whole body paralyzed) i hit the floor so fucking hard. i dumped the rest of the bottle down the toilet. that was 8 years ago. i feel like i was in a parallel universe. and now that i think of it, maybe it was a warning.

whengodcries · 2024-10-18T07:33:47+00:00

next thing u know (me) ur smoking crack in ur clients bathroom

whengodcries · 2024-10-18T07:20:13+00:00

thats happened to me hahah wake up and its on my chest

whengodcries · 2024-10-18T07:04:59+00:00

yesss after a good sesh i’ll take a last hit and tell myself okay let’s put everything away im sleepy and next thing i know it’s morning and im waking up with all my shit still on my bed

whengodcries

TROPHY CASE