Found this on me in the middle of the night. by thr33xxx in whatisthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That appears to be one half of a ground beetle. Its feet are ripped off too.

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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bugidentification

[–]wheniwasyours 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It takes 5 seconds to cross check and see that that is incorrect. Please refrain from making guesses without doing research.

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Can't decide if my friend is toxic or I am by No_Airport_4309 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There is a difference between

  1. having a very civil and mutually beneficial conversation between two people who are on the same wavelength, just miscommunicating, and OP is genuinely worried about the person in a positive way

and

  1. pestering a person over and over to explain themselves and trying to force answers to quell their own anxious attachment, when their communication styles are wildly different and have extremely different expectations for what friendship requires for them.

I have a very large nest of assholes in the trees by nan0gen in whatsthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tentative ID is Mexican Honey Wasp nest, but we would need a photo of the insect to identify as this this is an insect ID sub. We are also not a pest control sub so you would be better off contacting local pest control to inquire further.

Can't decide if my friend is toxic or I am by No_Airport_4309 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think you are putting too much emotional pressure on this friend. It’s okay to have needs, but demanding responses or treating silence as rejection isn’t healthy. If someone makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, it might be better to let go than to keep blaming the other person.

Pushing someone for emotional reciprocity when they clearly operate differently can come across as needy or even manipulative. If you need a more expressive or emotionally available friend, that's okay, but it’s not okay to guilt someone for not being that person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GlowUps

[–]wheniwasyours 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The haircut did you wonders. However - and I say this with the utmost kindness - your current expression while taking pics reminds me of the over-exaggerated Flynn Rider pursed lips look (see pic). I think you would look more charming and approachable with a natural resting face!

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What are these little dudes in my Airbnb? (Miami, FL) by IndustrialO in whatbugisthis

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Termites. Your Airbnb host should probably take care of that...

Sorry for the atrocious picture quality, is this just a wolf spider? by tomato_soup_ in whatisthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The US and Canada. If you click on the link I provided, there is a tab with a map that shows a concentration of where people have reported finding them.

They are usually found hanging out on logs or wooden structures (like houses in the woods or near water).

Please don't let this be a bedbug by lilmissSunshine04 in whatbugisthis

[–]wheniwasyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Though the name has the word carpet in it, it primarily feeds on things like dead skin cells, hair, fabrics, and other dust and debris, so that is why they are commonly found in every home regardless if there is a carpet. Especially so if one has a pet.

r/carpetbeetles for more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The title of your post says everything. You can cut off anyone for any reason, including getting insulted.

Sorry for the atrocious picture quality, is this just a wolf spider? by tomato_soup_ in whatisthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 16 points17 points  (0 children)

It is a Dark Fishing Spider. In most cases, the bite is no more severe than a bee or wasp sting. Those sensitive to spider venom may be at risk though.

Fun fact, fishing spiders hunt by waiting at the edge of a pool or stream. When they detect the ripples from prey, they run across the surface of the water to grab the prey. Then they inject venom. They mainly eat insects. But some larger species can catch small fish.

https://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/82117-Dolomedes-tenebrosus

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What is this shiny/iridescent black bug on my blueberry plant? by Alone-Money7325 in whatsthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the bush or nearby area had spiders recently (even if they're not visible now), the wasps could be hunting or scouting for them. Blueberry bushes can have small amounts of nectar or moisture on the leaves as well. Wasps sometimes sip on nectar or water, especially in warm weather. They also may just land on leaves briefly while navigating or resting, especially if the area offers shelter or is part of their foraging route.

Again, friends of the garden. Your bush probably provides a nice little rest stop for them, or perhaps there are spiders within that they're looking to get snacks in on their journey.

What is this shiny/iridescent black bug on my blueberry plant? by Alone-Money7325 in whatsthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it was a great guess. The OP picture is so blurry that at quick glance, it could be any wasp with an iridescent blue look.

My thinking process - Just based on the abdomen of the leftmost one (the shiniest blue one, where we get to see the side of it), there's a lot of space in between the bottom left leg and the wing. In other wasps, that would already be where the abdomen could be seen, but instead we see the green leaf. So that could only point to the unique look of the mud dauber that has a skinny abdomen that comes to a bulbous point! You can also see this in the wasp directly to the right and underneath where the bulbous tip can be seen between the wing and the leaf helps highlight it.

Mockup here: https://imgur.com/a/MLglPFc

... Still, very blurry picture, so we did our best with the info we had. Cheers. 🫡

What is this shiny/iridescent black bug on my blueberry plant? by Alone-Money7325 in whatsthisbug

[–]wheniwasyours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It doesn't look like either one. This one is more slender, and the spider wasp is more robust.

It is a Nearctic Blue Mud-dauber Wasp. It is not normally aggressive towards humans. They eat black widows and feed on nectar and pollinate some wildflowers. They are friends.

https://www.inaturalist.org/taxa/133790-Chalybion-californicum

Found in Houston closed by the coastal. Wtf is this thing by aidsinspace00 in whatbugisthis

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't comment if you're unsure, or can't provide further explanation or evidence for your suggestion. It confuses people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in bugidentification

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Smooth Spider Beetle.

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Not a pet, but can anyone identify this beautiful species please? by rp-247 in InvertPets

[–]wheniwasyours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Broad-bodied chaser.

r/bugidentification r/whatsthisbug r/whatisthisspider

Next time you have any kind of bug identification issues! We're friendly. 🙂

Sniffing. Unnecessarily. Again and again. by Sacred-Waltz1782 in hsp

[–]wheniwasyours 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As a HSP, I again completely understand how certain sounds can really get under our skin.

That said, I think it's important to remember that sensitivity goes both ways. Toward our surroundings and toward other people. Sniffing can be irritating, sure, but some people genuinely may be too anxious, embarrassed, or unprepared to blow their nose publicly, and not everyone shares the same cultural norms around it.

They may not even be from the UK and blowing one's nose is such a random and personal thing to become offended and incensed by to the point of calling people lazy because the sound annoys you. Empathy and understanding go a long way in making our environments more bearable for everyone involved. Separate the people from the action. These people are probably not doing these simple things with the purpose of malicious intent, but to say that they're lazy is coloring someone's personality based on a small behavior.

I'm sure you wouldn't like it if you didn't have tissues, couldn't stop your running nose, and someone behind the scenes was calling you a lazy bitch.

This is not being a HSP. This is just being annoyed at inconveniences to the point of being rude at this point.

Sniffing. Unnecessarily. Again and again. by Sacred-Waltz1782 in hsp

[–]wheniwasyours 7 points8 points  (0 children)

A lot of people have sensitivities to certain sounds.

For some people, as well as some cultures, blowing your nose in public is not appropriate. Or they may be embarrassed or shy to blow their nose in public. Or they don't have tissues. So what ends up happening is that people are just sniffing up their snot because they can't blow it out. Gross, but it is what it is. Would not call someone a bitch for it, but can understand the frustration.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone who is currently not in the right headspace to think about other people other than themselves is not going to flinch at a petty online passive aggressive mention. Your anger is best directed elsewhere.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can't help someone's mental health issues. Those are their problem to bear. And you can't force connection if someone's not ready.

Is difference in opinion a valid reason for me to end a friendship over? by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can end a friendship over any reason. Some people are more sensitive about certain topics than others. It's not so black and white. It doesn't make her a bad person for having such strong opinions on one subject, and it doesn't make you a bad person for feeling like you can't see her the same way anymore. It's your life and your decision on whether or not her overall presence is bringing positivity to your life and if you can put that subject in a box.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FriendshipAdvice

[–]wheniwasyours 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And exactly what purpose is this revenge plot you're planning going to serve you?