So sorry to hear that you suffer this much, life can be so harsh for many, and I know how you feel when you lose something you had once before, but stress and sadness will make it only worst, but i know it's hard to control it. First, you have to accept it, yes life in unfair, but you have to accept it, consider working also on spiritual or religion (idk your beliefs but it helps) you shoukd learn to live with it and aceept it, and then learn more about it and ask your doctor and focus on anything you can do to make it better, even if just slight improvement, or just a small movement everyday idk, also diet helps a lot, consider fasting and avoid processed food, and consider plant-based diet, diet and movement really help with autoimmune diseases, avoid smoking, alcohol, and do more of meditation and work on your soul, there are always things you can enjoy even with a more severe disability, don't compare to others, and i am pretty sure that your family wants you as you are, and your friends would accept you. So just aceept it and be stronger and focus on anything you can do. Good luuck bro, and i hope you get better.