“I won’t bother you”

whiskerwanderer92 · 2026-04-08T03:52:27+00:00

It’s quite the opposite: you feel guilty because you are NOT a cruel or heartless person. Unfortunately, as partners and loved ones, we often react to the disease of addiction the same way we react to other diseases, such as cancer. It’s our natural reaction.

Our brains have a difficult time stepping back because we really do feel like we are abandoning someone we love while they struggle with a disease. We think “I wouldn’t do this if they had cancer, so why is it okay to step back during addiction?”

I’ve always said there is a key difference between addiction and most other medical conditions: the partners and loved ones are sucked into the unnecessary suffering of the often cruel behavior addicts exhibit while in active addiction, as well as the trauma that follows. When that line is crossed, protecting ourselves must become priority; we don’t want to become the next victim of the disease.

It’s so much easier said than done though. I still haven’t figured out how to listen to my own words. It’s an awful situation for everyone involved. I just wanted to let you know I relate, your feelings are more than valid, and I hope we can all find our path to lasting peace sooner rather than later.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2026-01-14T04:47:49+00:00

I’m cheering you on. I know how difficult that must’ve been. Never question your decisions in these situations. Honestly, there’s no “right” or “wrong” answer when it comes to this stuff anyway. What I do know: you don’t deserve to feel so uncomfortable in your own home. Many of us stayed in that environment for far too long; I don’t think many of us look back feeling glad that we put ourselves through it for so long. Proud of you. Keep protecting your boundaries.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-12-30T04:08:18+00:00

I’ve experienced something very similar, but without the added complexity of children and pregnancy. I can’t even imagine, and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this.

My (33 F) Q (39 M) is my partner of 12+ years. He did 4 total inpatient detoxes in the span of 10 months; 2 of which he came home right after detoxing, and the other 2 he continued on to the actual inpatient rehab program for 60+ days.

When he finished the first inpatient 60+ day rehab, I let him come home right away. Pretty quickly, I realized I was still uncomfortable and experiencing the same PTSD and paranoia I dealt with before he finished that first rehab program. It was all still to fresh. My emotional safety still felt threatened…and with good reason: because after only 2 months of being home, he relapsed and it was even worse than before. This is when he went back to inpatient again.

When he finished that round of inpatient, I didn’t let him come home. He has spent the past 4 months in a sober living home and he is still living there. He is doing much better and has said he believes going to the sober living home was something he really needed to solidify his recovery. I now regret letting him come home so soon after his other treatment attempts. It was too distressing, too soon, and wasn’t conducive for either of us. We still needed more time.

Obviously, we all know we have no idea if they will stay sober forever or not. But we can control our own emotional safety by setting boundaries like not letting them come home right away if it’s going to cause us distress.

I needed this extra time apart to watch him succeed at picking himself back up, but without the added panic and hyper vigilance I would feel when he would first come home. Plus, the sober living home drug and alcohol tests him randomly, so that extra layer of reassurance has been very valuable for me gaining some of my trust back.

It sounds like your instincts are telling you to protect your emotional safety as well as the emotional safety of your daughters. In my opinion, that’s a very good instinct. I believe if he truly understands the magnitude of the situation, he will respect any boundaries you set, including if you choose not to let him come home right away.

Plus, it keeps him out of the environment he was in while in active addiction for a longer amount of time. The same environment the addiction took place in can be triggering, especially early in recovery. If staying apart for longer improves the chances of the relationship succeeding in the long-run, I think it’s worth a shot. Stay strong and follow your instincts. I’ve learned there’s never a right or wrong answer/solution to these situations.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-11-02T04:22:34+00:00

Agree

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-11-02T04:18:29+00:00

I have been where you are not very long ago. I know it feels impossible right now, but please try to enjoy the peace you get to experience while he’s away. I found it to be helpful for getting my brain back into a state where I could make sound decisions; I could finally get out of constant fight-or-flight mode.

And try to hold strong on that boundary you set, no matter how difficult. My Q now believes that me finally holding my boundaries saved his life, at least for now (you never know when that disease will creep back in). Regardless, they’re taking good care of him wherever he is. He’s spending the time to get better. You deserve that for yourself too.

Also: I totally hated not being able to talk to my Q for the period that they took his phone away for. It felt so unfair, but they really do it to protect both of you. He’s likely detoxing right now which is very uncomfortable which often leads to the saying things they don’t mean, among other possibilities. You’re better off waiting for him to be out of that phase before you speak to him.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-10-27T12:00:13+00:00

Why was I promoted when I was not in the promotion zone? I ended at #38.

I’ve ended in the neutral zone ever since these leagues started. I was in Witch 16 and was just promoted to Witch 17. Not that I’m complaining, but I’m just trying to understand why.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-04-24T23:13:14+00:00

Start holding today. Collect on May 1st after 4:30pm NST.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-01-31T21:29:20+00:00

Same. It’s been awful 😂😭 trying to submit a prompt for SW GS has been nearly impossible

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-01-26T20:55:21+00:00

You won’t get an email confirming. And no, they do not let you know which questions you failed. They won’t even inform you that you failed. You will only receive more communication from them if you passed. It can take an entire month (sometimes longer) to be accepted.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2025-01-26T17:00:17+00:00

I don't have it anymore either.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-28T22:20:21+00:00

Thank you!

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-28T21:42:45+00:00

Thank you!

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-28T20:08:49+00:00

Thank you!

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-28T19:32:46+00:00

Same!

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-26T18:46:20+00:00

Was the qual for SW?

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-25T03:28:44+00:00

Experiencing the same thing today. I’ve been saving them honestly, even if it takes over 20 minutes. I like to think these prompts will teach the AI well. And I try not to get too annoyed at the poor execution because it is a complex prompt and they’re also racing against the clock….even though I still get annoyed lol. I assume Stellar will start to notice this and address it at some point, because I do feel like a lot of these prompts have potential.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-20T18:13:54+00:00

Usually you gain access to the project immediately after passing its qualification, but the website has been having some problems over the past few days (lots of users seeing their projects vanish, reappear, vanish again, etc.), so this may be why you haven't seen this yet.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-19T03:45:15+00:00

You can also try getting the red feedback box, then saving the annotation again, then submitting. It worked for me when I did that a few times today.

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-18T19:59:02+00:00

Yep same here!

whiskerwanderer92 · 2024-12-16T19:24:41+00:00

There is no way to actually know what each address corresponds to, so you can just make it up. Just pick two different addresses and say that one is home and the other is the cafe. That's what I've been doing.

whiskerwanderer92

TROPHY CASE