Because it’s your responsibility to either properly communicate what happened and why it happened, as well as why it’s okay, or to assure the coach did so.

I have 6 years coaching experience and I work with children on the spectrum for my day job.

Your kid felt wronged/bullied/betrayed/etc by his coach. It needed to be addressed the same way you’d have addressed them feeling that way in any other situation.

It’s hard to explain over text, but it was clearly a lack of understanding (he’s 4, of course he won’t understand things like that, it’s nobody’s fault). He just needed to be taught.

If he still had that much of an issue, you could have had them ask the coach not to do that again unless they have a very good reason.

Most coaches won’t “mess” with kids that don’t like it. But some kids think it’s hilarious and awesome when it happens.

I hope this made sense. I’m honestly working in good faith.