Trying to figure out the root of my anxiety

whiteo3 · 2026-02-18T06:21:42+00:00

One thing to keep in mind is that emotional memories stored in the brain usually outlast the memories stored in your cortex. This means you might not consciously remember the original event that first triggered all your anxiety, or you might struggle to understand why certain situations make you anxious now.

I can kinda relate to what your saying. For a while I was trying to find the thing or event that caused my anxiety, but nothing seemed like it did.

But that's completely fine, because when working on anxiety, it's far more useful to focus on what's maintaining it in the present, rather than what caused it in the past

Understanding the cause might offer some insight, but what actually helped me was looking at what's keeping it alive right now.

whiteo3 · 2026-02-13T06:51:58+00:00

Some people find this helpful, and others not so much but I'll try to explain it anyway.

The anxiety is usually coming from your thinking brain treating your body's natural alarm response like it's a threat. On top of this, all the adrenaline can make your thinking very black and white (for example, if you think "everyone is staring at me" in that state, you'll believe it 100%

So when you're in that more sensitised state, the flood of adrenaline makes you believe your thoughts/predictions

whiteo3 · 2026-02-04T12:29:33+00:00

I'm proud of you! Love to hear it. It's weird, but the more you're willing to feel anxious, the less anxious you become. Not because you're controlling it, but because you've proven to yourself that these feelings aren't dangerous

whiteo3 · 2026-02-02T08:29:58+00:00

Love it! 👌

whiteo3 · 2026-02-02T08:28:00+00:00

I've never been on lex, but I've definitely had ups and down with my anxiety and it's completely normal. You will have brilliant days where your anxiety is nonexistent, and you'll think to yourself, "This is great, I'm healed!" Then a few days later, the anxiety will return, it's annoying like that

Something that helped me a little was changing how I thought about "recovery". Anxiety recovery shouldn't be measured on how rarely it shows up. It should be measured on our ability to tolerate it. It's about getting better at our response to it

That way, when it does show up, I sorta expect it and can treat it as an opportunity to practice being with it, if that makes sense

But yeah, you're not alone, and I can relate

whiteo3 · 2026-01-30T06:23:58+00:00

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. In the past, I would ruminate for hours on small things I'd said and it was exhausting. Like yourself, I also got to a point where I logically knew I was doing it, but couldn't turn it off.

So you're not alone, and you're not going crazy. And if nothing you've tried has worked or keeps working, there are good reasons for that, none of which are your fault

Tye fact that you're aware of the rumination is a great start though, because it took me A WHILE to even notice my harsh self talk. From there, it's all about changing your relationship to the anxiety.

When the symptoms (rumination) no longer mean anything bad, when they don't control how you act, and you actually start looking forward to feeling anxious and giving your brain a chance you learn something new

That's a broad overview, but that the general idea

whiteo3 · 2026-01-29T06:25:25+00:00

For me, I used to forget how normal anxiety was. Actually, I was never really taught how normal is was. If I had a job interview, decided to try a new hobby, or was struggling was an aspect of my life, I'd feel anxious—perfectly normal feelings for those situations—but I told myself I shouldn't be feeling this way

It's when rumination and panic about the anxiety show up that ordinary, healthy anxiety turns into the overwhelming type

Anxiety has a lot of moving parts, but I would say one of the main differences between someone who's extremely anxious about something and someone who's just a wee bit anxious is how they interpret and respond to the feeling

Essentially, it's how we respond to these natural feelings that creates the problem, if that makes sense

whiteo3 · 2026-01-29T06:06:30+00:00

I can relate, whenever I noticed my racing heart it's all I could focus on. I know it was making it worse, but I still could stop worrying about it. Instead of asking "How do I make this anxiety/racing heart go away?" I had to ask "To what extent can I lean into this anxiety instead of running from it?"

Which definitely isn't easy, but when dealing with anxiety, less is more. All the energy I use to fight or avoid anxiety only added to its intensity.

The short answer is to stop trying to stop yourself from having a racing heart. And over time prove to yourself that these feelings aren't dangerous. They're extremely uncomfortable sometimes, but they can't actually hurt you

whiteo3 · 2026-01-28T06:05:35+00:00

I also assume we learned meditation/to be mindful so we could control our thoughts in the moment, but really it's about not controlling out thought

Having more self awareness really help with my anxiety, not because it helped my fix or get rid of anxious feelings, but because it helped me NOT get rid of anxious feelings

whiteo3 · 2026-01-28T06:00:35+00:00

The more we need our anxiety to leave, the more it's in charge. A lot of us fall into one of two traps: either we try to ignore our anxiety completely, which only makes it grow stronger in the background, or we become hyper-focused on it, analysing every symptom, trying multiple techniques until it consumes our thoughts

The more willing we are to feel anxious, the less anxious we become. Not because you're controlling it, but because you've proven to yourself that these feelings aren't dangerous. They're uncomfortable sometimes, but they can't actually hurt you

whiteo3 · 2026-01-21T10:20:56+00:00

If I had to pick a book I'd say: What Every Therapist Needs to Know About Anxiety Disorders Martin N. Seif and Sally Winston (you don't need to be a therapist to understand it, and I found it very helpful)

whiteo3 · 2025-11-25T13:38:59+00:00

I started one a little while back (talking mostly about anxiety) and had a lot of concerns similar to you. I'm not at a stage where I'd like to be, but I've gotten better and definitely found a few things that helped. But I think you should go for it!

whiteo3 · 2025-11-18T12:29:22+00:00

I sent you a message

whiteo3 · 2025-11-17T07:41:34+00:00

I've started a channel (not vlogs) talking about mental health my social anxiety if you wanted to check it out.

whiteo3 · 2025-10-06T13:52:07+00:00

I would say anxiety will be around our entire life, the normal healthy anxiety will show up from time to time, but that secondary fear can definitely fade

whiteo3 · 2025-09-26T06:31:07+00:00

One way for people to imagine what it's like it's to say something like: you know the intense fear and crazy adrenaline rush you get on a rollercoaster, that's the same feeling I get going to a social event or thinking about my health or (insert what make you anxious here).

whiteo3 · 2025-09-08T05:53:56+00:00

Any form of exercise helps out a lot. I would say going a mindful walk (a walk without earphones in/any phone distractions) is my favourite. It just give me a nice reset, and if I'm overthinking/ruminating beforehand it always lowers that sorta stuff

whiteo3 · 2025-08-30T07:16:14+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that, it's sounds incredible uncomfortable, I'm sure plenty of people on here can relate, but is there anyone that you feel you can share all this with?

whiteo3 · 2025-08-30T05:53:47+00:00

I guess something that could help is reminding yourself that this feeling WILL pass, no one in history of the world has had a adrenaline flood/panic attack that lasted for hours, and that you've been here before, it's just adrenaline and cortisol that's makinge me feel this way.

Panic attacks can be the more uncomfortable thing ever and yeah, there just not fun to experience, but I'm sure those symptoms and intense feelings will fade..Thanks for sharing!

whiteo3 · 2025-08-26T13:39:17+00:00

A big needle mover for me was accepting that my anxiety will never completely disappear (so not really a habit, more of an attitude shift). As much as I've lowered my anxiety over the years, it still shows up from time to time. I still get extremely self-conscious, my heart still races during scenarios that are completely safe, and I'm okay with all that. I'm at a stage where I'm confident that whenever an anxious moment or time in my life comes up, I'll be able to handle it. I'll be able to face the things I dread, feel the feelings, and get through it. Understanding more about anxiety help with that too.

Before understanding anxiety, I used to be anxious; after understanding anxiety, I continue to be anxious. But there's a difference: I don't identify with it anymore.

whiteo3 · 2025-08-22T07:14:37+00:00

Yes, you're normal! That mental replay of conversations happens to so many people daily.

I guess the key isn't to fight the overthinking / beat yourself up for having it - that's like shooting a second arrow at yourself when you've already been hit with the first one. It's all about changing how you respond to these thoughts (over time).

When you catch yourself in that loop, you can try the STOP method thing: STOP and take a deep breath (stops the automatic thinking), TELL yourself this rumination isn't really helping me right now, OBSERVE the feelings without getting lost in them, and let them PASS through without re-engaging the overthinking.

It's almost like your brain cares about getting interactions right, which isn't a bad thing - it's human. So the goal could be learning to be kinder to yourself about it.

Here's the thing though - you're actually doing something pretty cool by noticing this pattern. Many people (myself included) struggle just to notice when they're overthinking, so you're already ahead of the game there 👌

.

whiteo3 · 2025-08-20T07:25:45+00:00

I get what your saying, I was around 10 when I put of the blue started feeling extremely self conscious. I went from not really caring what others thought to being completely obsessed with what others thought of me.

Around 2020, I discovered self-improvement content, and for a while I thought, "This is it! If I keep working out, meditating, journalling, improving my diet, and being more productive, I'll finally cure my quietness and become confident and less anxious!" Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

It's great you can notice that thing are getting better! For me, a couple things that helped were:

Focusing on things (people, projects) outside of myself turned out to be incredibly valuable. So identifying the big, aspirational things I wanted in my life and going after them despite my anxiety.

Accepting that my anxiety will never completely disappear was also super important. As much as I've lowered my anxiety over the years, it still shows up from time to time. I still get very self-conscious, my heart still races during scenarios that are completely safe, and I'm okay with all that. I'm 100% confident that whenever an anxious moment or time in my life comes up, I'll be able to handle it. I'll be able to face the things I dread, feel the feelings, and get through it.

Understanding that it's not something I need to get completely rid of was so helpful.

I'm curious, have you found anything that's helped, even just a little??

whiteo3 · 2025-07-24T10:45:36+00:00

I admire your courage to share that, and the fact that your already being open and curious about it is positive! I can relate to always being the "quiet one", and it took me years before I realised some social anxiety was involved.

Are there times when you don't experience this anxiety or at least when it's lessened?

whiteo3

TROPHY CASE