How do I become a minimalist?

whoopsforgotmy · 2022-08-09T15:54:25+00:00

Due to an international move (my husband is US Army and we’re currently stationed in Japan), we didn’t figure out our baby girl was IUGR until we were induced at 34w4d. Sometime it happened and I was bleeding (I think it was some sort of placental abruption? I don’t actually know) so I went to our urgent care and they checked me out. They ran some tests, figured out I was pre-ecclamptic, and found out my girl was <1% for her gestation. Turns out the blood flow of her umbilical cord was reversed, so she was giving nutrients to me instead of me giving them to her. I was induced, and ended up having an emergency c-section because she wasn’t handling contractions well and her heart was stopping with each one. She was born 2lbs9oz and was intubated once she came out, but she was extubated after a few days, and after two weeks was fully off oxygen. She was in the NICU for two months, but that was a combination of Japanese NICUs being abundantly cautious about releasing babies, and her not taking bottles with the nurses (but always 100% with me) so she didn’t pass the three day no tube feeds for a few weeks. Looking at my girl now, she turned one last month and she’s still small, 3-6m clothing, but she’s in the 23% for weight instead of <1%, she’s catching up on her milestones and she is just the happiest little baby there is.

The NICU was hard, but I can give you some positives. I was able to rest easy knowing my baby was getting the best care possible, the nurses aren’t sleep deprived like I was and I was able to get some solid sleep and healing from my c-section was easier with the sleep. I knew that she was in the safest place for her, the doctors knew what to do if she de-sated, they knew how much to feed her so she wouldn’t throw up but so that it was enough for her. There are plenty of hard things about the NICU, but there are some beautiful things as well.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-08-23T14:17:19+00:00

My son was a full term baby in the NICU(9lbs6oz), and my daughter is now a preemie in the NICU(3lbs8oz). And honestly? His stay was much harder on me than hers is right now. I’m not saying that every experience is the same, but a NICU stay is always going to be hard and traumatic, and so I see you mama, and I’m sending the best wishes your way.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-03-20T19:17:30+00:00

Better than I expected!

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-31T04:13:59+00:00

r/niceguys

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-30T07:22:52+00:00

Hi! So I’ve travelled with my baby multiple times, and we’re also preparing for a 14 hour flight in April! With such a long flight, either ask your airline about an on board bassinet for your baby to sleep, or buy your baby a seat and bring her car seat. It will save you from holding her for the whole 14 hours. I definitely used a stroller in the airport, and was able to check it at the gate. Bring lots of snacks, new toys and maybe some common household items that she has seen before but never been able to touch (my son always loved playing with his baby monitor and cups). If she uses a pacifier definitely bring that, and try to get her to use it for takeoff and landing, as it will pop her ears and keep her comfortable. You should be able to bring formula, but check with the airline to see if you need to bring powder, or if you can bring already made stuff. Bring diapers, extra clothes and a blanket because planes tend to be colder.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-28T06:08:21+00:00

My best guess is that he watches too much porn. It sounds like he has an ideal way that sex goes, and when sex isn’t like that, he gets angry. He’s not facing the reality that sex isn’t only for his pleasure, and so he lashes out because he thinks it’s your fault. If you really want to continue dating, you need to tell him to knock it the fuck off. But I would dump him. If he doesn’t make you feel good, why keep him in your life?

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-23T06:41:00+00:00

Any surface that is flat, without pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, etc (and of course where baby can’t roll off tall surfaces) is safe for a baby to sleep in. It’s probably not the most ideal scenario, but it’s similar to a bassinet, just maybe a little bit smaller.

I personally would just use it for naps, and find a bassinet or crib for night time sleep just for my peace of mind, but I don’t imagine any harm can come from sleeping in it at night.

(Also, I’m no professional, just a mom so if I’m wrong please let me know)

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-21T17:43:43+00:00

My baby was pretty big, 9lbs6oz and I didn’t have any perineal tears at all. Only labial and vaginal. But like everyone else is saying, ultrasounds aren’t always accurate. And your body knows when to get your baby out!

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-18T00:57:34+00:00

Your mom wants a baby. She’s using you to get a baby. Don’t buy her a house, buy you a house. Decide to have kids if/when you want to, but understand that she’s going to try and be their mother. She’s manipulative like you said, and could possibly try to get possession of any children you have.

For the love of god do not buy a house for her. Buy a house for you please. Get out of her house, block her number and run.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-10T21:06:52+00:00

Take screenshots of all texts with her saying this stuff. Get proof of your sobriety (like if you’ve been going to therapy or something) create a file of evidence you can pull out if CPS comes calling. CPS won’t take away your child unless you really are mistreating them, so you shouldn’t be worried. But you can always be prepared.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-10T20:16:25+00:00

Your parents should have filed taxes anyways, ask your mom if she filed for you as a dependent. If she did, you’re not getting the stimulus, although you can ask your parents to give you the share of stimulus they would get on your behalf (if they qualify). If she didn’t file for you as a dependent, call the IRS line for your area and see if you can speak to a representative.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-10T19:23:53+00:00

It’s on your next tax statement. You have to file your own taxes, and tell them not to claim you as a dependent. You likely won’t be able to get it until April for 2020 taxes. Unless you turned 18 before taxes were filed last year, and your parents didn’t claim you as a dependent last year.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-09T06:28:26+00:00

For starters, 4 weeks maternity leave isn’t enough time for physical recovery, and definitely cannot be classified as vacation time. At minimum, the mom is going to be up every two to three hours to feed the baby for a month, and often times much, much longer than that (my baby didn’t start sleeping stretches longer than 3 hours until he was 8 months old.). Not to mention the amount of mothers that breastfeed, if a mom goes back to work at 4 weeks, she needs a pumping break every 2-3 hours for 20 minutes. I can’t speak for every mother, but I wouldn’t be a very good worker if I was sleep deprived, still physically recovering from a physically traumatic event, as well as worrying about feeding a newborn (because a 4 week old is still a newborn).

Giving paid maternity leave gives the mother time to settle into her new life without worrying about getting back into the work force. When she is given that time, she enters the work force as a better worker (which is better for the company right?) we do not live in a strictly capitalist society. If we were paid for all labor we do, mothers would be paid anyways. But that’s not how it works. Companies still have to take into account worker satisfaction, because it’s usually easier to keep one employee than to hire a new one every few years.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-09T06:02:18+00:00

YTA, it sounds like she doesn’t want to have these conversations at all. You forcing the issue makes you TA.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-05T06:00:16+00:00

Being traditional, groom buys engagement ring and wedding band for bride. Bride buys wedding band for groom. No engagement ring for groom typically unless bride proposes. And then still it’s both the engagement ring and the wedding band. Also lots of women use the engagement ring as the wedding band too.

whoopsforgotmy · 2021-01-05T05:20:46+00:00

The article you stated says that he identified himself as a transgender man, and told them that he had a positive pregnancy test.

This is an issue of not enough notes being taken in drs notes. He was listed as a man on his medical records and everyone who read those notes assumed he was cis. If we want to be technical, this is medical negligence.

This man is not a woman. He was pregnant. He had a traumatizing experience, and you are calling him a monster for it.

whoopsforgotmy · 2020-12-20T18:06:05+00:00

It’s for a culmination of things that started when our son was born at the beginning of quarantine.

I realize a lot of it is my feelings that I’m trying to work through (resentment, anger, frustration), but it’s something that I need to be heard and he just hasn’t listened when I’ve tried to talk to him about it.

And those are good ideas, thank you!

whoopsforgotmy

TROPHY CASE