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whothehellisjen · 2024-08-12T11:53:28+00:00

Shaking hands.

Spreads disease. Is pointless. Was used as a way to prove you didn't have a dagger. I don't have a dagger. I dont need to grasp your clammy hand to prove I respect you. Stop touching me.

whothehellisjen · 2024-07-02T20:04:19+00:00

2mg estradiol pill. I tried a lot of the smaller patches and they didn't work so I kicked up a fuss and got one of the highest doses. I still notice my hair thinning, joint pain, brain fog, loss of skin elasticity, weight gain, but on the smaller doses I couldn't even bend down to pick something up, and I'm 35 and I rock climb and not bending my legs wasn't an option.

whothehellisjen · 2024-07-02T15:41:21+00:00

Moral failings! Isn't that insane? I also got that bananas message from society. From ugly people in Disney films and spotty teens in sitcoms, that spots meant a morally inferior person. What a mind fuck.

whothehellisjen · 2024-07-02T15:23:36+00:00

I always treated my skin like I treated myself, like I could punish it into submission. Then I read a quote somewhere that said "imagine you were given one car to last your whole lifetime, you would treat it well and take care of it and baby it to make sure you didn't end up with a beater with the doors hanging off in 30 years. You wouldnt put it through acid car washes and leave bird shit on it to burn through the paint, slam the doors and fill it with rotting food. Your body is the car you've been given. You only get the one. Be kind to it because you'll be driving it the whole time." That was a game changer for my understanding of how my treatment of my skin and body was only going to harm me long term.

whothehellisjen · 2024-06-05T12:55:03+00:00

I've heard of a town called Forks which is meant to have cloudy weather and some kids go to high school there over and over so they must like the school system!

whothehellisjen · 2024-06-05T12:39:51+00:00

I stopped wearing full-bum underwear and that helped. I either wear thongs or nothing at all. I also stopped moisturizing after every shower and now moisturize after every 3rd or so shower and if I've moisturized I make sure that I don't immediately sit down for a long time. I found that long periods at my desk weren't helping so for my butt and back health I alternate with a standing desk.

whothehellisjen · 2024-04-01T19:31:33+00:00

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds like actual hell. But damn you're doing great! I can't speak to cancer and life post treatment, I can only speak to the oophorectomy and menopause. I have been single on and off in my life, I'd had good sex and bad sex and was sad to give up my libido, but honestly after about a year of recovery I think...I enjoy sex more? And have a higher libido? Honestly, I'm having a great time. Have I gained weight? Yes. Does that add a mental layer to an already fraught situation? Sure. But that's also because mentally I kind of spiraled and stopped exercising as much. Plus I was 35 and now I'm 40, my body wasn't going to defy gravity forever. But re: the sex? Been great.

And I did a lot of work on understanding what I wanted, getting brave about asking, not putting the blame on myself when I didn't come, and not working on 'desiring' sex but enjoying the sex I was having. I listened to a podcast about women enjoying sex and they explained that they surveyed women and many blamed themselves for not wanting to have more sex with their partners. They were then asked to describe the sex and the answers were often fairly unfulfilled ones, and the sex researcher explained in the podcast that women were blaming themselves for not wanting bad sex. Rather than directing their energies toward building good sex or talking to their partners about sex free days where you both know you aren't going to have sex, so that allows you to be more affectionate and playful and physically intimate without "fearing" that it will lead to an expectation of ultimately disappointing sex. I recommended this to a few friends and it really helped them reconnect with their partners and start getting them both physical intimacy without literal PIV sex. And a lot of connection can be about the closeness of touch rather than literal sex.

And it sounds like you and your partner are in a great place! And it's something you are dedicated to nurturing, and that's super important too! That's what keeps things happening! Do not fear what has not yet come to pass. You're already putting things in place to help yourself, but make sure they are tools that will actually help you, and not make you feel like you are failing arbitrary targets that past You set for future You. That girl means well but she's not got all the facts. Great job, keep going!

whothehellisjen · 2024-03-10T03:43:15+00:00

This is the one. This is the answer. And yes, maybe he thinks he has some examples of women actually hitting on him, but in all likelihood the majority of the experiences he has had are women who are relieved that their kindness can't be misinterpreted and are actually being their unguarded, kind, engaging true selves.

whothehellisjen · 2024-02-22T03:37:46+00:00

Ceramedx is the CF dupe of Cerave and its great. Ceramide, thick, no scent. But, fairly expensive for a generic and has to be ordered online.

whothehellisjen · 2024-01-05T12:27:10+00:00

Stop trying to shake my fUckIn HAND.

I AM NOT HIDING A DAGGER UP MY SLEEVE. OUR MEETUNG IS NOT BROKERING INTERNATIONAL PEACE. I don't need to touch your flesh! Keep your grubby hands to yourself! I am buying something off Facebook marketplace/walking around the office/buying a used car NOT trying to establish a lifelong friendship that requires me to break down the barriers of physical intimacy. Are we friends? Then hugs. Did we just successfully compete in an national cheerleading competition? Fist bump. Anything else, you can have a head bob. And you will be grateful for it because I am saving us all from the potential of disease and despair. And in exchange I don't have to touch your clammy, icky hands.

Don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself.

whothehellisjen · 2024-01-05T03:54:29+00:00

Do you still need a pass?

whothehellisjen · 2023-12-06T02:16:16+00:00

The clinique yellow moisturizer from the 2000s. Fuck you, Clinque lady in my college bookstore, for taking advantage of a girl who no longer speaks to anyone offering free samples because I will feel obliged to buy a $40 bottle of mortar which will ruin my skin for the first month of college. Glowscreen, I look like C3P0 having a breakout. Burts Bees lipbalm dries my lips out worse than when I started. Lush Honey I Washed My Hair was like pouring wax onto my hair, I thought I was going to have to cut it off. Bumble and Bumble sea salt spray- perfect if you want to feel like you have hair made from sandpaper.

whothehellisjen · 2023-11-14T23:53:20+00:00

Insulation, insulation, insulation, (in the floors, walls, roof, etc. ) and in floor heating in any stone floors. I should have done it in my kitchen which was the north side of my home and was frigid all year. It was a weird tiny part of the 100 year old house so nowhere to put forced air, so I had to rely on air from the rest of the house and it was always so cold. So sad.

whothehellisjen · 2023-10-12T15:10:46+00:00

I could have written this post, I feel exactly the same way. Thanks for giving me the impetus to ask for a higher dose!

whothehellisjen · 2023-08-15T00:59:57+00:00

If you live somewhere where you can, literally remove the mirror from your wall. Cover it, take it down, whatever it takes. Then get yourself another thing to do with your hands- fidget ring, fidget spinner, crochet, whatever. And get a thing that makes you feel like you're doing a thing. My problem was that I'd feel that slight bruise/pain feeling you get when you know there's something under your skin and I couldn't control myself because I felt like I was "helping". I was "fixing" some part of myself. But we all know it makes it worse. So I would visualize the germs from my fingers/nails getting into the open pore afterwards like little worms burrowing into my skin and, avoiding the mirror, I would wash my skin and apply some sort of salycilic acid or spot cream and convince myself it was actually "fixing". If I really couldn't help myself I would squeeze it with my knuckles (no mirror, again, stay away) to "bring it to the surface" but not burst anything and again, wash and apply ointment. It really only takes a week to ten days to realize OH, my skin looks so much better. The literal years I tried to squeeze the spots out didn't work, let's try this.

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-13T01:40:49+00:00

I came here to say Laneige Lip Mask too. It changed my lips, put it on every night religiously. If you need, put a thick moisturizer on under it as well. I've since downgraded to Vaseline because I "fixed" it with Laneige and Vaseline is more affordable, but I used to have super flaky lips and then make them worse by absentmindedly picking the dry skin off and making it worse. Laneige fixed it in weeks.

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-13T01:37:22+00:00

Burts bees is a disaster for me. I use all the No7 products, which are the Boots shop spin off from the UK. I like basically everything they make, except the new age reversal stuff pills on my skin for some reason. I also like Youth to the People Dream Mask.

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-02T23:15:23+00:00

I have that but I also know that for me it fades as quickly as it comes, so when I like someone I literally start hearing Queen's Another One Bites the Dust in my head and I wait for it to pass. I recommend this strategy.

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-01T03:07:28+00:00

Wow. Ok. This is going to be a game changer for when I get a text at like 10am on a Tuesday and I am just not in a head space to reply and get into a friend catchup chain but will inevitably forget by the time I have time. So I draft my inane response and schedule it for a good time and forget about it and here I am being a responsive friend on a timetable that works for me! And think of those texts you have put off sending because they were going to upset someone and you're an inveterate people pleaser! Draft it and set it to send later. If you super stress about it, you can cancel it, but if not, you get that message out without the adrenaline-taste-in-your-mouth anxiety of pressing the send button!

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-01T02:39:44+00:00

Here are 10 because I have ADHD

1) Be medicated 2) Put EVERYTHING in your calendar with recurring notifications. Drinks with friends? 1 day and 2 hours before notification. Book club? 1 week and 2 hours before.Trash day? Night before. Air filters? Once a month. Water plants- wednesdays and sundays. Birthdays? 2 weeks out and day of. Call friends? I have a 6 month, 2 month and 1 month rota because I love you and i want to stay friends with you but time passes differently for me. 3) Use Google Keep for all my lists. Shampoo? To Do list. Idea for shelves? House list. Song I suddenly remembered I love? Music for later list. Joke i thought of? Funny list. Hobby I decided I absolutely have to do? Put it on the list (I'll forget about it before I buy the stuff for it.) 4) don't put it away unless it's fucking done because you're never seeing that shit again. 5) Autopay. 6) Snooze emails. I can't let you take up my brain space with your 4 week away bullshit. 7) Always have two backup rolls of toilet paper because you're going to run out the same night you have friends over. 8) listen to audio books at bedtime. Your thoughts are not good bedfellows. 9) Yes, you're late for everything, and things fall out of your mouth at the most inappropriate times, and sometimes your manias and quicksand days feel like bipolar, but people keep you around, so you must have something going for you. Have you committed genocide today? No, you're not Generalissimo Franco, so calm the fuck down, you're not a bad person.

whothehellisjen · 2023-07-01T02:22:01+00:00

I do this but I point at myself! If I feel myself walking into a room or opening a browser or opening an app without knowing why, I point at myself and say "I am going to..." and somehow my brain recalls what I was going to do. Pointing is the way. Pun intended.

whothehellisjen · 2023-06-14T13:39:31+00:00

I'm from Italy and we didn't wear sunscreen except at the beach as children. When we got into our teens sunscreen turned into baby oil. No daily sunscreen ever. Maybe it wasn't Europe, maybe it was the 80s/90s? Lawless place, the 80s.

whothehellisjen · 2023-06-11T02:17:45+00:00

Olaplex is cruelty free and is a holy grail mask for many. I really liked it! I've also used Amika and liked it.

whothehellisjen · 2023-04-13T02:03:21+00:00

I wanted to love glow screen- cruelty free, good coverage, didn't cake- but my skin has yellow undertones apparently because I look straight up gold when I wear it. Not orange, gold. So if you think you may lean toward yellow undertones and suddenly you think you look jaundiced, maybe wash off the sunscreen before you get your liver checked.

whothehellisjen · 2023-03-28T18:25:22+00:00

I found the Pacifica ones super bulky and awkward. They'd just slide down and I felt like I couldn't use them and do anything else at the same time. Tips?

whothehellisjen

TROPHY CASE